Bundle of Joy and Other Emotions
by coffeebeanner
Summary: With Pregnancy and babies, comes a lot of emotions. Smiles, laughs and those unforgettable 'what just happened' moments seem to make things a little better. This is the journey from the plus sign to the plus one more...
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! I asked on Tumblr if anyone would be interested in reading a linstead baby fic. Answer: yes. So this is the first chapter... hope you guys like it. Let me know what you think.**

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Erin stretched out on her couch, lightly nudging her feet against Jay's leg, "You alright?"

Jay moved his eyes from the television, looked over and smiled, "Yeah," he squeezed her left foot gently, massaging her arch with his thumb, "why?"

"You're like zoning out," Erin sat up a little, taking one of the throw pillows and putting it behind her, "what's on your mind?"

"Promise me, you won't laugh," Jay grinned.

Erin raised an eyebrow, "This must be juicy." Jay countered with a matched raised eyebrow. Erin rolled her eyes and pressed her right foot into her boyfriend's thigh, "Alright, I promise I won't laugh."

Jay grabbed both her feet in his hand, moving them from his lap as he stood up.

"Where are you going?" Erin asked as she watched her shirtless boyfriend walk around her couch to the kitchen counter. Even more confused as to why he was rummaging through her cabinets, "I don't have anymore beer, if that's what you're looking for." She pressed rewind on her remote, going to the opening credits of _Grey's Anatomy_ , knowing that the both of them weren't paying attention to it.

"Not looking for beer..." Jay said distractedly. He shut one drawer and moved to the next.

"Then why don't you tell me what you are looking for, then maybe I could tell you if I have it or not." Erin looked into the kitchen, only able to see Jay's back towards her.

"You have candles..." Jay examined what was once a granola bar, now smashed, before shaking his head and laughing at how Erin was such a pack rat and tossed the bar into the trash, "so I know you have to have to have a match or lighter somewhere." He picked through her junk drawer, taking out sticky notes, pens; that were probably dead, and stamps. "Found a lighter!"

Erin stood up and grabbed the remote, pausing the tv and dropped it back down on the piles of blanket that were scattered on the couch. "Halstead, what the hell do you need a lighter for-"

Jay stood with the kitchen lights completely turned off. On the counter was a chocolate cupcake with a lit candle stuck in it. "Happy birthday, Er."

Erin lips slowly turned upward into a smile. She brought her hands to her hips, "Jay, we said we aren't celebrating my birthday."

Jay shook his head, his face glowing from the candle, "Correction, _you_ said _you_ aren't celebrating. Last time I checked, I wasn't you."

Erin dropped her hands from her hips and walked over to her boyfriend, groaning as she bumped her hip into the corner of the counter. Jay grasped her waist and steadied her. Erin ran her hands up and down his bare, muscular, arms. Standing on tiptoes, she pressed her lips gently to his.

After pulling away and enjoying a few seconds of staring into to each other's eyes, Jay brushed his thumbs to Erin's waist, her skin exposed as her camisole rode up, "So what do you say, blow out the candle, make a wish?" Jay inched the plate closer to his girlfriend, tempting her with her favorite dessert.

Rolling her eyes, she picked up the plate and closed her eyes, making a wish before blowing out the candle, leaving her and Jay in darkness.

Jay leaned down, let the warmth of Erin's breath guide him to her mouth. Just as his lips touched hers, Erin pulled away and whispered, "I'm pregnant."

 **I know this was short but I'm just dipping my toe in the water. Feedback will really help me continue and motivate me, so please review and let me know if you want to see more. I'm open to ideas and suggestions.**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Thank you all for the lovely reviews. I was honestly in shock and overwhelmed with 16 reviews! With some leg pulling and bribes I decided to post today. Enjoy!_**

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 _"I'm pregnant."_ Erin swallowed loudly, looking straight ahead at Jay, trying to listen to the change in his breathing; anything that would give her a clue to as to what he was thinking. The pitch black darkness of the kitchen made it impossible to see anything, "Will you say something, please."

Without saying a single word, Jay held Erin tighter, pressing his lips to her forehead.

Erin melted against his touch, her tense shoulders deflated and she let out a small laugh, "At least turn on the lights so I can tell whether or not you are about to bolt or if you're holding a knife or whatever."

Jay stepped away for a quick second, flicking the kitchen lights on. Erin looked at him, to see him grinning like a little boy.

Finally speaking as he walked back towards her, his hands going back to rest on her waist, "You're pregnant?"

Erin nodded, "Look, I know this wasn't exactly a planned thing, so I totally get if you want out-"

"Hey, Woah, Erin." Jay brought one of his hands up to her chin, tilting it so they were both looking at each other, "I'm not going anywhere."

"So you aren't mad?" Erin wondered.

"No I'm not," Jay dropped his hand from her chin, taking her hand in his, entwining their fingers together, "Come on, let's sit." He led them to the couch, he laid down first, stretching his long sweatpant covered legs out as he pulled Erin down on top of him so her back was resting against his chiseled chest.

 _"_ When did you find out?"

Erin turned slightly to her side so she could curl her legs under Jay's right one, which was bent and resting against the back of the couch cushions. "Remember how last month I was late to meeting your CI." Jay nodded, listening. "I took a pregnancy test early that week because I was nauseous and late," Erin let out a small laugh, "I didn't expect it to come back positive. But when it did, I scheduled an appointment with my doctor."

"Wait...how long have you've known about this?" Jay's voice was calm, not at all raised or harsh.

"About three weeks." Erin whispered, she wanted to tell him so badly but it just seemed like whenever they had time alone or she finally mustered up the courage to say something, someone interrupted. Before Erin knew, three weeks had passed and it was her birthday.

"Wow, so that makes you-"

Jay started to do the calculations in the his head before Erin informed, "Two months."

"Wow." Jay whispered as he pressed his lips to Erin's head, inhaling the scent of her blackberry shampoo, "we're going to have a baby."

Erin hummed, "Yeah we are."

Jay could sense Erin's voice drop above a whisper, she slightly pushed herself up from his chest. "Erin, hey, where are going?"

"I need some air." She stood up and grabbed her coat as she left her apartment.

"Damn it, Erin," Jay muttered and pulled his hoodie over his bare chest, walking barefoot down the hall. He spotted Erin standing with arms crossed over her chest as she stared up at the elevator dial indicator light up each floor number above them before reaching Floor 3.

Just as the elevator dinged and the doors slid open, Jay rushed over and grabbed Erin's arm lightly, "Erin please, stop."

Erin pulled away and stepped inside the elevator, she pushed the button with the little symbol of a door closing. When the door didn't close, she pushed it again; and again. Groaning out of frustration, she looked over to see Jay had his foot in the front of the doorway, the door would slide shut up until his foot before bouncing off it and retreating back in its pocket. "Move your foot."

"No, not until you tell me why your first instinct is to run?"

"I'm not running." Erin said as she leaned her head against the wall of the elevator. She had given up on pushing the door closed, knowing Jay was just as stubborn as she was. "I just..."

"You just what?" Jay removed his foot, stepping into the elevator, leaning against the same wall as Erin.

The door closed, leaving Jay and Erin in silence, the only sound heard was the ding of the elevator as it hit the second floor, then jerked to a stop, hitting the ground floor.

Erin finally spoke as the doors open, "I'm scared Jay."

"Of?" Jay placed his hand over the opening of the elevator door, allowing Erin to walk through first.

"Everything. Being pregnant...being a mom." Erin spun in her boots so she was facing her boyfriend who was following.

Jay nodded, "I get that, Erin. This," he signaled to her midsection, "can be scary, if you're facing it alone..." Erin inhaled sharply, her eyes filled with worry, "but you aren't."

Erin hung on to every word that came out Jay's mouth, she watched as the small stubble around his mouth glowed under the florescent lights in the apartment's lobby. He smiled and laughed a little as his own admittance, "I'm scared of becoming a father..."

Erin shoved her hands in her jacket pockets, just watching the man in front of her, everything he was saying was right. Everything he said was what she wanted to say but couldn't.

"We're in this together, Erin." Jay said as he looked deeply into her eyes.

Erin batted away tears and nodded, chewing on her bottom lip. Jay could tell she was nervous, he was too. This stage in their life was new but it wasn't all that scary. It would exciting, wonderful and at times messy.

"Together?" Erin asked needing reassurance.

Jay swung his arm around her neck, his hand resting on her shoulder as he led them back to the elevator. "Of course." He kissed her head and pushed the door closed, they both watched as the numbers lit up, finally getting back up to the third floor.

"Come on, there's a chocolate cupcake with your name on it."

Erin smiled and walked with Jay back to her apartment. Jay went to the kitchen grabbing two forks and handing one to Erin.

"Thanks," Erin said as she picked at the frosting, the smell of chocolate invaded her nostrils, she quickly covered her mouth, feeling her stomach flop.

Erin turned and darted to the bathroom, leaving Jay stunned and completely frozen. The sound of her emptying her dinner into the toilet caused Jay to move his feet in a blur.

"Jay," she said weakly as she caught her breath just before another round of her flopping stomach.

Jay knelt down next to her, holding her hair away from her face, "I'm right here, Erin." He sighed as she gasped and her body shook, "not going anywhere."

 **So what do you think? Was my second chapter just as good as the first? Feedback is appreciated. Thanks!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Once again, wow! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I am so happy that you guys are loving this story. I can't believe all the feedback I'm getting from everyone. Much love!**

 **I have the next chapter started, but I won't be posting until the weekend. I was wondering how you guys feel if from here on out if I were to do a new chapter for a new month of Erin's pregnancy (maybe a span of two chapters a month for some because of the details and possibilities that could happen durning the pregnancy.) So in about 6-8ish chapters you'd guys get to see baby Halstead.**

 **This one is a long one. Hope you enjoy it.**

"Feeling any better?" Jay watched as Erin, dressed in boy short panties and sports bra, slowly made her way to the bed, her hair still wet from the shower that he insisted on her taking.

Erin let out a sigh and nodded, pulling back the light purple sheets before sliding into bed, her head automatically falling deep into the pillow.

Jay had his head in his hand, his elbow propped on his pillow, "Can I get you anything to eat?" Jay brushed his knuckles along Erin's cheekbone, wiping away the water droplets that had fallen from her hair.

Erin closed her eyes at his gentle touch, opening them a few seconds later to find him staring at her lovingly, "I can't think about food right now." She mumbled, her stomach still settling.

Jay scooted closer, dropping his hand from her face to rest at the curve of her waist. He used his thumbs to rub circles on her soft, exposed skin, causing goosebumps to dust across her body. Jay laughed lightly at the effect before looking up to find Erin's eyes shut and her breathing steadied, a small snore escaped her slightly opened mouth. Jay slowly tucked his hand under his pillow while his other hand still remained to draw circles on Erin's skin. He shifted his weight gently, trying not to move the bed too much not wanting to wake up his girlfriend.

Finally getting comfortable, Jay watched as another droplet of water fell down Erin's forehead, he removed his hand from her waist to swipe the water and wiped it on the sheet. The soft touch of his finger, caused Erin to mumble something in her sleep and turn her head away from his touch. Jay moved his hand to between them, pulling the bedsheet up to cover them more. He moved his gaze down her face, taking in her beautiful eyes shifted from her face to her chest, watching as her slightly fuller breasts rise and fall with each breath she took. His eyes moved further down to her stomach, still in awe that there was a baby in there. Her abdomen still looked fit and taut, her abs still toned. No hint of a bump just yet.

Jay imagined in the next couple of weeks, a small bump would form, he couldn't wait to see how Erin would look pregnant. No doubt she would look beautiful than ever. His eyes flickered back to her face and he smiled as his eyes started to shut too, sleep taking over.

The sun shone through the blinds of Erin's bedroom window which made lines of light dance across Jay's bare chest as he stirred, his arm stretched behind Erin's head, cradling her neck from under her pillow. In the middle of night, Erin found her way over to Jay's side of the bed, practically lying on top of him, her legs tangled with his.

With his eyes still closed Jay pressed his lips to Erin's hair, which had dried during the night. The scent of her shampoo still lingered, "Morning."

Erin moaned softly, bringing her hand up from under the covers, her fingers tracing over Jay's abs and finally meeting his hand, where it rested just above his heart. "Morning," she responded and placed a kiss to his chest before flipping her hair from her face to look up at him.

Jay cleared his throat of sleep and stretched out, "So I had this dream last night..."

"Yeah?" Erin rasped.

"You told me you were pregnant." Jay opened one eye as he grinned down at his girlfriend, chuckling as he caught her roll her eyes.

Erin pushed up with the one hand still holding Jay's and the other firmly pressed into the mattress, maneuvering her legs to each side of Jay's hips, straddling him.

Jay's hands found her hips, both eyes fully open and a smile plastered on his face, "How ya feeling this morning?"

Erin grinned, her dimples appearing, "I feel better," she brought both hands up to Jay's chest, rubbing his pecs and shoulders, "but I am hungry."

"You're always hungry," Jay joked which earned him a sharp poke to his ribs. He retaliated by gently flipping Erin into the soft mattress, planting a firm kiss to lips and moving his lips down the valley of her breasts to each prominent ab, finally reaching her belly; where he peppered several soft, delicate kisses, "Morning baby."

Erin propped herself up on her elbows, staring lovingly at Jay, running her fingers through his short bed hair. Erin's stomach growled under Jay's lips causing them both to break out in laughter.

Jay crawled over to Erin, capturing her lips before pulling away, smirking, "Eggs and bacon?"

Erin scrunched her nose in disgust, "Pancakes?"

Jay nodded and kissed her head as he got up from the bed, pulling a clean t-shirt from his drawer of Erin's dresser. He slipped his head and arms through the holes before padding his way to the bathroom, turning the faucet on to shave and brush his teeth. Jay patted his face with shaving cream, gliding his razor over his cheek, jaw and under his chin.

Erin got up and slipped her feet into a pair of fresh socks and grabbed her robe that was tossed on the floor from her late night shower. She tied the tie securely around her waist, the satin material cool against her skin.

Walking to the bathroom, she ran her hand down and up Jay's back, tucking his tag in his shirt before playing with the small hairs on the back his neck. She placed a kiss on his shoulder as she reached over to grab her own toothbrush.

Jay squirted some toothpaste onto her toothbrush before putting some on his own. Erin brushed her teeth and occasionally stole glances with her boyfriend. She brought her free hand up to his freshly shaven face, wiping off some shaving cream that was along his jaw.

"Thanks." He mumbled, spitting and rinsing his mouth with Listerine.

Erin finished brushing her teeth, using a washcloth to pat her mouth dry before kissing Jay's cheek, "Love you."

Jay looked over at Erin, a smile spread across his face, he firmly pressed his palm to Erin's face, "I love you too," he kissed her slowly, "Now come on let me make us some food." Jay said pulling away, flashing the signature Halstead grin.

Erin gave him a sideways smile as she ran a brush through her hair, twisting it up and securing it with a clip.

Jay watched and waited in the archway, extending his arm out to walk with her to the kitchen. Erin warmed the griddle as Jay started the batter. The couple worked seamlessly together which gave her the reassurance that they could make this work. Sure, a baby isn't as simple as pancake batter, but just the thought of early mornings with their little family was going to be something Erin looked forward to.

 **So...was I too detailed? At times I feel like I spend way too much explaining an action and less time in dialogue. Let me know what you think. If any one has any ideas/hints, let me know! Love and have a safe and happy New Years. Cheers to 2016!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you all who have reviewed. I'm still amazed with all the feedback I'm getting from this story. This chapter was fun and different to write. I hope you like it. I would also like to apologize for my responding to your reviews. I guess this past week or so fanfiction has been glitching and not allowing me to respond to the reviews. So once again: THANK YOU.**

 **Enjoy!**

Jay weaved in and out of traffic. They technically weren't late. They had exactly ten minutes to get to the district, but for Jay and Erin, who were always the first two to arrive in the unit. Aside from Hank, who was up at the crack of dawn, already on his second cup of coffee and waiting in his office. Jay swerved over into the left lane, picking up the speed to surpass a semi truck.

The rocking motion made Erin's already upset stomach even more unsettled, "Can you pick a lane and stick in it?"

"What?" Jay glanced over at his girlfriend, he sighed, noticing she rested her head in her hand, "sorry. Stomach still?"

Erin nodded with her eyes closed, "Your driving doesn't help."

Just as Jay was going to apologize again, a car moved from two lanes over, cutting him off, causing him to slam on the brakes and lay on the horn, "Nice move!"

Erin groaned and whispered, "Pull over."

Jay still frustrated with the car in front of them, didn't hear his girlfriend the first time.

"Pull. Over." She stated firmly, the color in her face draining away.

"Why do you want me to pull-" Jay's eyes got big when he saw his pale girlfriend, curl over. "Okay, okay." He flicked the blinker and crept through traffic, pulling to the shoulder.

Once Jay had stopped completely, Erin quickly unbuckled, opened the car door and emptied her stomach, "Oh god," she squeaked out. She stayed hunched over feeling her stomach flop again.

Jay sighed and reached over to rub her back. "I'm sorry, I should have known the traffic-"

"Napkin?" Erin asked, her head still dangled outside of the car.

"Right, napkin." He looked around frantically, finding a napkin in the armrest console. Jay handed it to his girlfriend who took it quickly.

Erin patted her mouth and groaned in disgust, "This sucks," she wadded the napkin into a ball and tossed it in the car trash bag Jay had hanging on the back of her seat. Erin shut her door and buckled back up, she opened the glove box and pumped a squirt of hand sanitizer in her palms, rubbing them together.

Jay leaned over the middle armrest and pressed his lips to Erin's head, she sighed and leaned into him, "We're going to be late."

"We'll be fine." Jay assured, giving her one more kiss before handing her a mint he had grabbed when he found the napkins.

Erin gave her boyfriend a small smile, unwrapping the clear packaging of the mint, popping it in her mouth. The coolness seemed to help her stomach.

Jay tried his best to make the rest of the way to the district as smooth as possible, he cursed to himself when accidentally tapped the curbside, jerking the car.

Erin stared out the window, looking up at the brick building.

"You okay?" Jay reached over and squeezed Erin's knee softly, running his hand up and down her thigh before resting it back on her knee, patting it.

Erin turned her head and nodded, "I just..." she sighed, "I don't want to say anything about the baby."

"But Voight should know-'

"No." Erin shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest, "the minute he finds out I'll be on desk duty."

"Yeah but maybe that's what's best-"

Once again Jay was cut off by Erin, " you can't be serious, Jay." She unbuckled and yanked her door open, stepping out and slamming the door shut.

Jay turned the car off and shoved his keys in his jean pocket before jogging to his girlfriend. "Erin, come on."

Erin spun in her black boots, "Come on, what?"

"You honestly think it's a good idea for you be working in your condition."

Erin tilted her head to the side, raising her eyebrow, "My _condition_? You do realize that many pregnant women work until like seven months, some even to their due date."

Jay looked at his girlfriend, his lips pursed together, "how many women are cops? How many run and chase criminals for a living?"

Erin snarled and shook her head, "how about you worry about you and I worry about me." With that she walked ahead briskly and straight up to the gate, scanning her palm.

"Halstead!" Jay heard the moment his foot hit the main floor of the district, his eyes darted from Erin who opened the gate and to Platt, who called him again, "Detective Halstead."

Jay sighed and walked up to the older woman, "Yeah Sarge?"

"Trouble in paradise?" Platt flicked through a list of evidence forms.

"What? No." Jay grumbled, not that it was any of her business, "did you call me over for that or can go?"

Trudy raised her brows, "Go. Just don't bring your personal life to work."

Jay sighed and headed up to the bullpen. Erin was already at her desk, her nose in a stack of files. Jay approached her desk and tapped on it lightly, "I'm sor-"

"I'm working." Erin stated, not looking up from the file, "might as well get used to seeing my desk."

"Lindsay," Jay reached to pull the file down. Erin glared at him and turned in her chair, so her back was away from him, "Erin."

Erin spun back around and dropped the file on her desk and walked over to the break room.

Jay was quick to follow, ignoring the looks Ruzek and Dawson have been giving them since they walked in.

Erin gripped the coffee pot firmly, pouring the dark brown liquid into a mug.

Jay watched silently before speaking up, "you know caffeine isn't good-"

Erin put the coffee pot forcefully back in the coffee pot, "Dammit Jay! Quit trying to control me."

Jay stepped back at the harshness of her voice. He looked into the bullpen and shut the door, hopefully it would muffle anymore yelling. "I'm not controlling you. I'm trying to look out for you and the baby." He spoke calmly.

"I can handle myself." Erin pointed with the spoon she used to stir the coffee with.

"Look, I'm sorry. You know this is new to the both of us. But this is an _us_ situation. You can't just do what you want and expect me to agree." Erin listened and nodded. "I want you and the baby safe. Do I think desk duty is the best decision, yes. But I also know that you love your job and love the baby even more. I know you wouldn't want anything to happen."

"I don't want anything to happen." Erin handed the coffee to Jay, "I just don't want to tell anyone yet. Can we just wait a little longer?"

"Thanks." Jay smiled and sipped at the coffee, "But what about doing busts?"

"I haven't gained any weight, my vest will still fit. I'll be fine."

Jay nodded in agreement, "plus you'll have me as backup."

"Exactly." Erin smiled and kissed Jay's cheek.

Just as she pulled away, Ruzek knocked on the door, popping his head in, "Boss says we better suit up, we got a lead on the Kent case."

Erin and Jay nodded to the officer. Jay turned and looked at his girlfriend, "Be safe," he gently brushed his knuckles to Erin's stomach.

Erin smiled, "Don't worry, we will."

 **Let me know what you think.**


	5. Chapter 5

**As always, thank you. I can't believe I'm only two away from 60. Wow! I never had so much wonderful responses like this in a fanfic. I hope I replied to everyone's reviews, since the fanfiction fiasco. Anyhow, this is my first time really writing a crime/bust scene. I apologize in advance if it's jumpy and crap. I'll work on it, so let me know how I did.**

 **Anyone else see Sophia at the Golden Globes? Gorgeous. Also gorgeous, Lady Gaga! Taylor Kinney looked snazzy as usual.**

 **Now onto the reason you clicked this update. Enjoy!**

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"Joshua Kent." Voight slapped the photo of the guy they have been tracking for weeks. "Apparently, from Dawson's CI, he is using his grandmother's house as a drug front." He scanned the room, Erin jotted down notes, Jay looked over the file on this guy and the rest of the unit had their eyes on him, "He is packing and distributing drugs all through downtown. So we know he isn't new at this, so be ready."

Everyone nodded in unison before the team dispersed and went to suit up.

Erin met up with Jay, helping him with tightening his vest. She pressed her lips to his shoulder as she felt a wave of nausea hit but willed herself to breathe through it.

"You good?" Jay wondered, kissing her head, "I mean, we're good? Everyone?"

Erin smiled and handed Jay her vest as she slipped one arm through and waited for Jay to adjust the Velcro. "Everything is fine. Just this nausea isn't great."

"I have some crackers in the 300, maybe something in your stomach will settle it." Jay spoke softly as he padded Erin's waist, double checking the sides of her black bullet proof vest, "it's not too tight?"

Erin turned back at her boyfriend, "Jay, everything is fine. You worry too much."

"Alright, everyone lets go!" Hank shouted and the unit went to their cars, heading to the address, Mouse texted to their phones.

Erin pulled down the visor, blocking the harsh light of the Sun that reflected off the lake. Her stomach seemed to have settled, the crackers she nibbled on must have worked.

Once reaching the address, Dawson and Voight took the main floor of the two story home. Ruzek and Olinsky were in charge of clearing the upstairs and Jay and Erin took the basement.

Shouts from the floors above were heard, "Clear!"

Erin turned the knob on the basement door, she signaled to Jay to go down first. Jay grabbed his gun and pointed it to the ground as he turned a sharp corner. He walked down the creaky wooden stairs, avoiding the second to the last step as it was snapped in two. Jay looked behind, spotting Erin scale the corner a few steps from him. Her foot was on the first step once he reached the bottom of the stairs. Jay walked forward a few, avoiding stepping on the numerous amounts of trash on the floor. He pulled the chain, hoping a light would help them find the Joshua.

The lights flickered on and off before going completely dark. Erin reached the bottom step and turned her flashlight on, holding it above her gun. Jay turned his head to look at her, he pointed for her to go to the left while he stuck to the right side of the spacious basement.

The only sounds that were heard in the rather quiet basement was the short, faint breaths of the two detectives and a trickling of water. Halstead walked past a tower of boxes, he crouched down in case Joshua was using it as a barrier. Once cleared, he moved further in the room.

Erin stepped over the pool of water that came from the broken down washer. She moved to a small pantry, pushing the door open fully before she checked behind it, not seeing anything.

Jay found a small room in the corner of the basement. A bathroom. As he opened the shower curtain, his gun readied, he let out a small sigh as he came out empty. He froze for a second as he heard footsteps approach him. He saw Joshua in the vanity mirror, his gun by his hip, his finger on the trigger.

"Don't mov-" Joshua went to say.

Quickly, Jay spun and kicked the Joshua's hand free of the gun. Jay struggled a bit as the man grabbed his leg as he went to place it back on the floor. Erin heard the commotion and ran to her partner who was currently being pinned to the floor. The 200lb man overpowering Jay, using a broken broom to press against the detective's neck.

Erin grabbed the back of Joshua's coat, strangling him a bit by his own collar. Jay took the opportunity to roll from under him.

Then, the rest was so fast, it was almost a blur. As Jay got Joshua to his feet, his cuffs ready, Erin went to retrieve the guns.

Joshua shrugged his shoulder up, connecting harshly with Jay's chin, his lips splitting on his teeth.

I'm that quick moment, Joshua snatched a gun and released the safety,he shot two rounds without looking. One grazing the doorframe of the bathroom. The other striking Erin in the side, just above her hip.

Erin shot off her gun as she fell to the ground. The bullet hitting the man in the chest. His breath labored and soon stopped completely.

"Erin!" Jay yelled, crawling to his girlfriend's side. He could tell the bullet went through the vest, a small dark red spot visible on the black vest. He looked down, carressing Erin's cheeks, brushing his thumb under her eyes which were shut, she groaned at the impact, "Shots fired at the police! I repeat, shots fired at the police." He shouted through his radio. He applied pressure to the wound trying to clot the blood; silent prayers were said as tears ran down his face. "Come on Er, don't do this to me."

"Jay..the baby.." Erin opened her eyes slowly, tears fell.

"You're okay. Everything will be fine." Jay applied more pressure as he pressed his lip to Erin's. "You're okay." He said aloud, "the baby will be okay."

Jay looked up from a brief moment, seeing Hank standing the doorway, he crouched down and ran his hand through Erin's hair, his face remained firm, "Ambo on its way, kiddo." Hank looked across at Jay with a questioning raised brow. "Baby?"

Jay just nods and keeps his gaze on his beautiful girlfriend. Tears in his eyes as the blood from Erin's side seeps through his fingers. "Dammit Erin, don't do this!" He cursed.

Erin's mumbled something and her eyes closed slowly, her head tilting to the cold cement floor. Her body too weak from the blood loss.

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 **Dun dun dun...lol. So what did you think?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello everyone. I know I must sound like a broken record, but I am truly grateful and thankful for all the kinds words you have left me. I was aiming for 70 reviews... But 83?! Too kind. Each review pushes and motivates me. Not to mention, makes me grin like a little school girl. Well, enjoy and have a great day/night.**

It had been four hours since Erin was rushed into the Emergency Department. Four hours of doctors hovering over her, poking her with needles, running medication through her veins. She was just wheeled back from surgery. A small gauze square was packed and taped over her wound. There was several monitors hooked up to her running from the machines to under her hospital gown, Jay wasn't sure what was for what. There was a small whooshing sound coming from the oxygen concentrator, Jay's eyes followed the clear tubing that ran from the machine, looped three times and tucked behind Erin's ears, oxygen was blowing freely into her nose through the cannula. The steady rhythms of the heart monitor was another noise heard as Jay watched the numbers on it remain the same.

Jay couldn't help but play back the incident. He should have known better than to let his guard down. The second the guy pulled his trigger, he should've jumped in front of Erin. It should've been Jay to take the bullet. Not Erin. Erin had not only herself to look after, but the baby too. Jay couldn't imagine losing Erin or the baby. If they lost the baby, he knew in a way he'd lose Erin too. A part of her would drift and disconnect, even as hard he would try to keep her together.

Jay was brought out of his thoughts when he heard the door to Erin's room open, he turned slightly in his chair to see Natalie Manning come in, a clipboard rested at her hip, she gave him a nod and walked over to the monitors, jotting down the vitals of Erin.

Jay just sat in the chair he had pulled up to Erin's bedside the moment she came back from surgery. His hand never moved from holding hers, "Any changes?" He spoke quietly.

Natalie looked up from the clipboard, "No changes, but that's a good sign."

Jay stared at Erin's face, which was slowly getting it's color back, her lips were their normal pink rose color again. Jay wished he could see her hazel eyes looking at him soon. "And the baby?"

Natalie gave Jay a small smile as she pulled out the ultrasound machine, she squirted some gel onto the wand and lifted Erin's gown to expose her abdomen. Careful of her healing wound from the gunshot, Natalie ran the wand over Erin's stomach, the soft thudding of the baby filled the quiet room.

It brought relief to Jay immediately, just like the five other times he asked for Natalie or his brother to check on the baby.

"The baby sounds perfect," Dr. Manning said as she wiped off Erin's stomach and wheeled the ultrasound machine back in the corner of the room, "You should really get something to eat."

"I'm fine." Jay glanced up from Erin for a quick moment. "But thank you."

Natalie shook her head and headed towards the door, as she passed Jay, she patted his shoulder gently, "I can't tell who's more stubborn, you or Will."

Jay chuckled, "Will, definitely."

"You guys talking about me?" Dr. Halstead entered the room, Voight followed behind him.

"Nope." Natalie smiled to her colleague, handing him Erin's forms. She paused as she felt a harsh kick, she rubbed her belly, "This kid just won't stop kicking."

Will chuckled softly, "Go put your feet up in the break room, I got an extra sub for lunch, you can have it."

"Thanks Dr. Halstead," Natalie glowed and moved past the two men.

Hank went over to the other side of Erin's bed, he looked at her for a quick second, grunting as he observed her. Then he glanced at Jay's brother, "Do you mind giving us a minute?"

Will gave Hank a questioning look, but dropped it when Jay cleared his throat, "I'll be down the hall if you guys need me." He gave his brother a pat on the back before exiting the room.

Jay brushed his thumb over Erin's soft hand, "Natalie said there isn't any changes so that's a good sign."

Voight nodded and unclenched his jaw, "and the baby is..."

"Good." Jay informed.

"They say how long she's suppose to be out for?" Jay could hear a hint of worry in Voight's voice.

"Will said they have her on some painkillers and antibiotics so they are making her drowsy." Jay yawned and pinched the bridge of his nose with fingers.

"You should go home, get some rest.' Voight said, grabbing Erin's other hand, "I'll call or have Dawson come by and pick you up the moment something happens."

Jay quickly shook his head, "I want to be here when Erin wakes up."

"Halstead, at least get some coffee, stretch your legs-"

"I'm fine." Jay groaned at the pestering.

"He's stubborn." Erin grasped, her eyes slowly blinking open. Jay and Hank whipped their heads towards Erin.

Jay smiled widely and leaned up to kiss her lips, "Hey. I'm so glad you're up.'

Erin nodded and coughed, her throat feeling dry.

Hank kisses her forehead, "Hi kiddo. I'm going to let the doctors know you're awake. You in any pain?'

Erin shook her head, "Just sore."

Hank squeezed her knee as he walked out into the hall to find Dr. Manning or Dr. Halstead.

Jay just stared at his girlfriend, a small smile spread across his face, "You scared the shit out of me; you know that?"

Erin sighed, "It all happened so fast. I didn't even know what happened the gun went off-" Erin gasped and her eyes widened, "Jay..." She looked down at her stomach and swallowed, "what- what about the baby?"

Jay placed his hand gently over her stomach, "Er, the baby is fine."

Erin brought her hand up and over Jay's hand, her fingertips curling under his palm, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. She let out a shaky breath, feeling tears well up in her eyes.

"Hey, what's with the tears?" Jay looked into Erin's hazel eyes, he felt himself breaking down just watching her.

Erin sighed, "I'm just relieved." Jay leaned over and pressed his lips to her forehead.

He was too.

 **Sorry guys, I know this was short. I'm never good at hospital scenes. Don't worry I plan on having Erin go through recover. Also, I know a few of you have been asking about Hank and them officially announcing the pregnancy. I have a cute scene in mind for that. Hope you enjoyed this. Let me know what you think of th is chapter.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello! As always thanks. A special thanks to my tumblr friend, firstamamawifeafriend, just because she could use some more reading material. :) Can't believe I'm almost to 100 reviews, and only 7 chapters in! Wow!**

 **Enjoy!**

Erin sighed loudly as she struggled to get her coat on. She hissed when she reached around her back, stretching the side that the gunshot wound was on.

"Here, let me help." Erin heard the familiar gruff voice of Hank, she glanced up to confirm it was him.

It surprised her that he didn't have anything in his hands this time. Each time he would visit, he'd always had a little treat for her. First it was her favorite burger from Portillios, next was a box of pastries from the little mom and pop bakery near his house. Followed by cards and flowers from the unit and others in the district.

"I'm shocked you came empty handed," Erin commented and dropped her shoulders in defeat, allowing Hank to drape the coat over her before holding out the sleeve so she could slide her arm in with ease, "Thanks," she gave him a small smile.

Hank grunted in acknowledgment and turned to pick up the bag Jay brought over that was packed with a few pairs of clothes for himself and Erin, not sure how long they would be in the hospital for. Thankfully, after the surgery to suture the wound, Erin spent only two days in the hospital, just to make sure everything was healing right and the baby was fine given the stress of the procedure and cocktail of medications.

"Who's ready to get out of here?" Jay said as he wheeled in a wheelchair, he flashed a smile to Erin.

Erin frowned and pointed to the wheelchair, "Who is that for?"

Jay raised an eyebrow, "You." He sighed as he watched Erin shake her head, her golden brown hair moving from side to side. "Its hospital policy."

"Jay I can walk, my legs work just fine."

"Erin come on." Jay looked at his girlfriend with tired eyes. He hadn't gotten much sleep in the last few days. When he got off of work, he'd head straight to the hospital and stay the night there. Sleeping on the small couch had done a number on his back. Not to mention every time the nurses would come in to check on Erin, he was woken up too.

Sighing loudly, Erin got up and plopped down in the wheelchair, resting her feet in the metal footrests. Jay wheeled her out of the hospital, Hank ran ahead to put the duffel bag in the trunk and opened the door for Erin.

Hank looked over the roof of the car, "Halstead, you take the weekend off. Rest up. We have everything handled at the district. As for you.." he smiled to Erin, "I don't want you stepping in the district until you have everyone of those medical forms signed and dated."

Erin nodded, "I know." She slowly sat in the car, pulling her seatbelt over her body and clicking it into place.

Hank shut the door firmly, he nodded goodbye to Jay and walked towards the parking structure.

"So what do you say we get some burgers?" Jay asked, glancing over to Erin as he stopped at a red light.

Erin shrugged, "Sure, I guess."

Jay furrowed his brow, "What's wrong?"

Erin shook her head and stared out the window, "Nothing."

Jay knew from experience to not push Erin, it would only shut her down more. He reached over and gave her leg a gentle squeeze before turning his attention back to the traffic light which had just turned green.

Making a quick stop to grab burgers and shakes, the car ride back to Erin's apartment was quiet. Jay glanced over at her to find her fast asleep. She had shrugged her jacket off and was now using it as a pillow.

Pulling up to her numbered parking spot, Jay quietly got out of the car to put away the food and bags up to Erin's apartment before coming back down to wake up sleeping beauty.

He opened the passenger side door, forgetting that Erin was resting her elbow on the door control panel and her head was being cushioned by her jacket that was pressed against the window.

Erin jerked awake at the sudden motion of the door being opened and her elbow fell from the panel, which caused a domino effect on her jacket falling and head was no longer cushioned.

"Sorry," Jay frowned and picked up her jacket from the pavement, dusting off the dirt from the suede material.

Erin covered her mouth as she let out a yawn, "No it fine. If I stayed in that position much longer, my neck would hurt."

Jay smiled and held out his hand, her jacket was tucked under his arm, "Come on, food's gettin' cold."

Erin swung her legs out, stretching them first before standing up and taking Jay's hand, "No wheelchair this time?" she joked.

Jay chuckled, "I can carry you if you want."

Erin rolled her eyes and smacked her boyfriend's chest lightly, "Keep it up and I'm stealing your shake."

Jay swung his arm around Erin's neck, he gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze and pecked her head lightly.

Erin sighed and rested her head against his chest, curling her body against his. She wrapped her arms around his middle, giving him a hug.

"Come on, lets get inside." Jay took Erin's jacket and draped it loosely around her shoulders, giving her some warmth as the April's wind picked up and rain sprinkled.

Once reaching inside, Jay popped the burgers in the microwave, zapping it for a quick second. He looked around the living room, spotting no Erin.

"Er?" He tapped his knuckles on the wooden door of Erin's bedroom, getting no response he made his way in. Jay could hear rummaging around in the bathroom, a small line of light peaked through the bottom crack of the ajar door.

"You okay in there?" Jay could hear Erin cursing under her breath.

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine." Erin tried to say convincingly.

Jay sighed, knowing for a fact she wasn't fine. After hearing another spew of curse words, he pushed the bathroom door further open.

"Jay!" Erin glared at him and quickly turned her body away from his peering eyes.

Jay arched his brow, looking at his girlfriend questionly. Her shirt was off and there she stand in front of the mirror in just her sports bra, "What are you doing?"

Erin groaned and tossed a saturated gauze in the sink, "Trying to change the dressing." She reached for a stack of gauze and gently dabbed the wound dry. Jay watched as she tended to it. The staring from him made her self conscious. "Can I have some privacy? You know, seeing that it's my bathroom and I didn't tell you to come in." she spat.

Jay stared at the tile, "Sorry. I just heard you and you sounded frustrated."

"Jay I'm fin-"

"Fine...I know." Jay turned and walked out of the bathroom, shutting the door firmly.

Erin rolled her eyes and finished up dressing her wound. She made her way to the living room, with a fresh shirt, Jay was already devouring his burger and the tv flickered with a Blackhawk game. Jay was sighting on the edge of the couch, rooting his team on.

Erin walked into the kitchen, picking up her plate and shake from the counter before making her way to the couch. She sat Indian style, putting a pillow on her crossed legs using it as a table.

Jay looked over at Erin, "I didn't mean to invade your privacy."

Erin waved her boyfriend off, "I overreacted. I was just in pain..then started to think about everything that happened- I just...I can't help but worry."

Jay sat further into the back of the couch, "About?"

"The baby." Erin mumbled, licking the ketchup off her fingers.

Jay reached over rubbing her back, "Erin..you know I've been kicking myself for the past few days. I hoped it was me that took the bullet," Erin shifted and looked over at him, "but you're safe, the baby is healthy."

"But if I lost the bab-"

"You didn't. You can't think like that. It will only way you up inside." Jay scooted over, has lips pressed to Erin's temple. "If you are that worried and worked up about it, then maybe being on desk duty is the right decision."

Erin sighed and groaned, "Desk duty is going to be so boring."

"Let's just talk to Voight, maybe he'll let you do some field work that isn't dangerous."

Erin nodded and leaned forward to put her plate on the coffee table, she shifted so her legs were no longer crossed but tucked under her butt. She rested her head on Jay's shoulder and watched the puck move on the tv.

The few minutes of comfortable silence struck the duo, both relax and content.

"Hey Er," Jay whispered, not sure if she was asleep.

"Hm?" Erin snuggled closer to him so her face was in the crook of Jay's neck, she inhaled deeply, the smell of his body wash lingered.

"I'm so grateful you're okay."

Erin smiled and turned her head to press her lips against his neck, feeling his pulse against her lips, "Me too."

 **Sooo...what did you think? I know right now it seems like it going by slow, but I plan on picking up the pace a little and focusing on the pregnancy more.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Well, I made it to 100 reviews. So proud of myself and can't thank you enough for getting me there. Here is a cute chapter I wiped up today. I also must apologize for any medical mistakes, I'm no doctor and Google was my go to. This is my longest chapter yet, so enjoy and have a great time watching PD tonight!**

Jay stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel from its rack, wrapping it around his lower half. He walked over to the sink and used his palm to wipe off the condensation from the mirror. Jay went to open up the medicine cabinet to grab his shaving cream and razor, but when he opened it a few things fell out, causing some noises to ring through the bathroom. Jay picked up the items and popped his head through the open bathroom door, seeing Erin still fast asleep. Thankfully he didn't wake her. He knew she needed sleep. The last week had been tough. Plus reaching the ninth week of pregnancy, she was fatigued.

Erin was recovering, Jay was swamped at the district. The unit was trying to track down a guy that was breaking into several banks and cracking the codes to their safety deposit boxes.

Jay smiled and watched Erin sleep.

She was sprawled out on her back, her left leg was tangled in the sheets that covered her from the waist down and her right leg dangled over the side of the bed. She had her one hand resting under her pillow while the other one over her eyes, shielding them from the early morning sun.

Jay chuckled at how peaceful she looked. Her hair was fanned out over her pillow, a few strands tickling her nose causing her to bring her hand from her eyes to rub her nose still in a deep sleep. He walked to her side of the bed, sitting down gently. Jay ran his hand softly through Erin's hair, moving the stray strands. Jay moved his hand from her hair to brush his knuckles lightly against her cheek, before opening his hand, cradling her cheek in his palm.

Erin stirred and moaned softly, pressing her cheek further into Jay's hand. She fluttered her eyes open and smiled smally when her eyes met Jay's baby blue ones.

"Morning," Jay smiled back.

Erin voice was cracking, sleep still apparent in it, "What time is it?" She went to reach for her cell phone that was on the bedside table, shifting to her side, forgetting for a quick second about her still healing wound but was quickly reminded as a shooting pain radiated through her body.

Jay snatched her cell and clicked the power button, bringing the phone from sleep mode. He swiped his thumb on the bottom of the screen, unlocking her phone, "it's 8:30."

Erin sunk her head deeper into her pillow and closed her eyes, "It's early. Why are you up?"

Jay chuckled and rubbed his hand up and down Erin's leg that was covered by the sheet, "I have to drop by the district for a quick second."

Erin sat up slightly, propping herself up on her elbows, "Can't you stay here?" her eyes traveled from Jay's smile down his toned, muscular chest and abs. She wetted her lips with her tongue and brought her gaze back up to her boyfriend's face.

Jay groaned and shook his head quickly before standing up, adjusting his towel securely, "Nuh uh."

Erin creased her brow, "What'd I do?"

"I know you, Erin Lindsay. You are eyeing me like a piece of meat."

Erin shrugged and sat up on her knees causing the sheet to fall from her waist, revealing her lacy white panties, "Is that a problem?"

Jay couldn't hide his smug grin, "Nope not at all," he took a step towards the bed, his lips finding Erin's neck, peppering kisses along her collarbone, up her neck and finally reaching her lips.

Erin let out a small moan, linking her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her. Jay deepened the kiss, urging Erin to lie flat on the mattress, their lips never disconnecting.

Jay trailed soft touches with his fingers down Erin's neck towards the valley of her breasts. He opened his hand to cup the soft, slightly larger globes through the material of her camisole. Receiving another satisfied moan from his girlfriend.

Just as Erin's hand worked to undo the terry cloth around Jay's waist, the sound of a cell phone ringing startled them apart.

Erin groaned as Jay left her lips and his hand ceased its actions to reached for his cell phone on the other side of the bed. He checked it and tossed it onto the mattress.

"Who was it?" Erin looked up at him.

"Ruzek, says we don't need to come in today." Jay grinned widely, carefully pulling Erin from behind the knees to bring her closer to him, a rare giggle escaped her lips. "Now where were we?" His hand found her hips, hooking a finger on either side of her underwear.

Erin laughed and leaned up, meeting her lips with his. As Jay began to pull the lacy material down Erin's legs and dropping them to the floor, another loud ring was heard.

This time Jay groaned, snatching his phone to check it again only this time nothing came up but the ringing still occurred.

Erin sighed and scooted off the bed, taking her phone off the bedside table. She swiped to answer it, "Hello...this is she...uh huh..." She continued to talk and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

Jay sat on the bed and picked Erin's underwear off the floor and tossed them into the hamper near her dresser. He collapsed on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Erin still on the phone, talking to whoever. From the one sided conversation, Jay could assume she was talking to her doctor about an appointment or something.

There was " _Goodbye_." heard which made Jay sit up, waiting for his girlfriend to return and come back to the bedroom.

The sound of the shower running caused Jay to jump to his feet, he twisted the doorknob, seeing Erin close the glass shower behind her.

"You're serious?" Jay said loudly over the water.

"What?" Erin yelled, letting the hot warm cascade down her body. She reached for her loofah and squirted some body wash on to it. As she scrunched it together the smell of vanilla filled the room.

Jay pulled the shower door open, "You just left me in there."

Erin frowned that slowly turned into a smile as she rubbed the sudsy soap into her body, "Sorry."

Jay nodded, "Yeah, sure you are."

Erin rolled her eyes and went to reach to close the shower door, Jay stopped her, "Jay, there's a draft. Shut the door."

Jay smirked, "Fine." He discarded his towel and stepped in the shower, shutting the door behind him.

"What are doing?" Erin faked innocence.

Jay took the loofah, guiding Erin to face away from him so he could wash her back, "Helping you." He kissed her wet hair. Erin relaxed and leaned against him, closing her eyes. "Was that your doctor?"

Erin nodded, "She was confirming my appointment for today."

"You have an appointment today? What time?" Jay asked, guiding Erin to stand under the water, rinsing the soap off.

Erin bent down to grab the shampoo, "Noon."

"Good thing I don't work, I can join you."

Erin lathered her scalp and hair with the shampoo, "I'd like that."

Jay unthreaded Erin's fingers from her hair, taking his own hands to her head, giving her a massage. "Yeah?"

"Mhm." Erin sighed contently, closing her eyes and relaxed, her body pressed against Jay's as he continued to bathe her. "I like this."

A smile tugged at Jay's lips, "We should do this more often. I miss showering with you."

"Well you shower too early," Erin commented.

"I'll wait for you then."

Erin smiled, "Or you'll just shower again, like you did today."

Jay laughed and swatted Erin's butt lightly, "Go on, rinse off so I can put the conditioner in and we can get out of here."

"Why are you so excited?" Erin rinsed her hair and started to work conditioner into her hair. Jay took over that task too.

"Because, I'll get to see the baby."

"There isn't really much to see. Plus I think I'm still getting an transvaginal ultrasound."

Jay scrunched his nose, "That doesn't sound pleasant."

Erin laughed and once again rinsed her hair. When she was done, she stood on her tiptoes, placing a firm kiss to her boyfriend's lips, "Just be happy it's not you."

Jay shrugged, opened the door and stepped out of the shower, he held out a large towel for her to wrap up in. He kissed her cheek and left the bathroom to get dressed and start breakfast.

Erin got ready and met him in her kitchen, taking a seat at the counter. Jay slid a mug of decaf coffee to her, which she gratefully took. The hot coffee, warming her slightly chilled body.

Once they both finished eating the delicious omelets Jay made, Erin put her boots on and threw her hair into a messy bun before waiting in the hall.

Jay followed close behind, locking her door with his key and grabbed her hand, lacing their finger together. The goofy grin he wore only got bigger by the time they had drove to the doctors office.

Erin was called in to an exam room by a nurse, Jay sat in a chair near the exam table.

"It says here that the baby should be the size of a medium olive." Jay informed as he read through a pamphlet of different stages of pregnancy.

Erin looked over at Jay and laughed, "Olives sound good. You should pick some up from the store. Oh! And get some chocolate cake."

Jay shook his head, "Look it says you'll experience cravings." He pointed to the blurb on the page.

There was a soft knock on the door and Erin's doctor entered. "Hello Ms. Lindsay."

"Hi Dr. Milford," Erin greeted and shifted to pull the paper gown she wore.

"You must be the father," Dr. Milford extended her hand out to Jay.

Jay placed the pamphlet he read in his lap, grasping the woman's hand, "Jay Halstead."

Dr. Milford nodded and turned her attention back to Erin, taking a seat in the wheeled stool. "So how ya feeling?"

"Pretty good." Erin shrugged.

"Still nauseous? Any tenderness, any bleeding?" Dr. Milford questioned, ticking off the boxes on Erin's file.

"The nausea comes and goes, no bleeding, and my breast are tender." Erin felt her cheeks redden.

Jay sat in the corner and half listened, he wasn't sure if he should excuse himself during the questions but he didn't want to make Erin feel more uncomfortable or embarrassed.

Dr. Milford went through the rest of the questions, reviewed the weight and prescribed Erin some prenatal vitamins, "Ready to see your baby?" Dr. Milford asked, walking over to wash and put her hands in some gloves.

Erin was instructed to lie flat, place her feet in the stirrups and to take a deep slow breath as the thin probe entered her. Erin closed her eyes and blindly reached for Jay's hand. He took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

The doctor tapped away on the keypad of the ultrasound machine, a gray image popped up on the machine, "Here is your baby."

Jay and Erin both stared at the screen, there was their baby. A little grey blob that was starting to form finger and toes. It's round head making up half the size of its body.

"Wow." Jay said in a hushed tone, his eyes fixated on the screen.

Erin swallowed and held back tears, "Yeah," she squeaked, "wow...how does everything look?"

"Everything looks great. Baby is measuring just fine." Dr. Milford smiled to the expecting parents, "From the measurements and calculations from your last exam, it's look like your estimated due date is December 6th."

"That's my mom's birthday." Jay commented quietly, Erin looked up at him, giving him a smile and puckered her lips. Jay smiled back and leaned down, giving her a long peck. He wiped her tear stained cheek with his thumb before kissing her again.

"Would you guys like prints of this ultrasound?" Dr. Milford finished taking notes and taking care of the ultrasound machine. She instructed Erin to sit up and allowed her to get dress.

"Can we get three set?" Erin asked, sitting up.

"Three?" Jay raised his brow, "why three?"

"You, me, Hank." Erin listed.

"Oh, right. Can make it four, then?" Jay wondered, "my brother would like a copy."

Erin looked over and smiled at Jay, he still had that goofy, boyish grin across his face. She had a feeling it would be days or weeks before he wiped it off. But she couldn't complain, she too was wearing a similar grin.

 **So whatcha think? Was the doctor stuff confusing or did it come off clear? Input and suggestions are welcomed.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry for the delay in this chapter. I know it's been a week since I've updated. I had a little writer's block with this chapter for some reason. Hopefully this one isn't a let down.**

 **Enjoy!**

"What are you doing?" Jay chuckled with his toothbrush in his mouth as he leaned against the doorframe of the bathroom, staring at his girlfriend.

Erin huffed as she arched her back off the bed, tugging at the waistband of her dark wash skinny jeans, "Trying to..." she dug her feet deeper into the mattress, "get dressed..." she groaned as she got the denim over her hips. A gratifying sighs escaped her lips.

Jay raised his brow, intrigued at what he was witnessing.

Erin's frustration soon grew when she tried to zip and button the jeans. She gave up; dropped her body deep into the mistress and covered her face with her hands.

Jay's eyes widened when he heard Erin start to cry. He tossed his toothbrush in the sink and rushed over to the bed, "Hey Er," he sat on the bed and rubbed Erin's arm before grabbing her hands and pulling them down away from her face, "Erin don't cry, just find something else to wear."

"But I wanted to wear these," Erin tried again to pull the zipper closed.

"Erin," Jay held out his hand as he stood up from the bed, "we're going to be late if we don't leave-"

"I know, just stop! You seriously think I've planned on my pants not wanting to fit?!" Erin sighed and scooted off the bed, completely ignoring Jay's attempt to grab her hand. She walked over to her closet, sniffling as she went from hanger to hanger, finding a pair of jeans that were loose fitting before her pregnancy.

She yanked her skinny jeans off her hips, kicked them free and easily jumped into the new pair. Erin relaxed at the fact she could button and zip them shut.

"See. Those fit," Jay smiled at her, "I think they look better with that top anyways."

Erin gave him a small smile and nodded, "I'm sorry for snapping at you."

Jay took two large steps towards Erin, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "Don't be sorry. You can't help that your hormones are wacky and your uterus is already twice its size."

Erin rested her head on Jay's chest, wiping her nose with the back of hand, "I'm throwing out those pamphlets." Jay chuckled and brought his hand up to Erin's face, caressing her cheek gently. Erin looked up and grinned at him, "You must be sick of me crying."

Jay shook his head, "You crying just prepares me for the baby," he joked as he rubbed his thumb under Erin's eye, catching a tear that slipped out. "So does the throwing up."

Erin frowned, "I don't want to think about that. So far the nausea has stopped."

Jay kissed her head and rubbed her back before pulling her into a hug, "You ready to head out?"

"Yeah, let me just use the bathroom again." Erin gave Jay a quick kiss before going into the bathroom.

Jay picked up Erin's too tight jeans and hung them back up on their hanger. He looked at the sight of her closet, clothes falling off the hanger and dirty clothes in piles on the floor. Jay busied himself with a quick pick up of the mess.

Erin came out and watched as her boyfriend distractedly cleaned, "You know, the baby will make a mess. By the time it's a toddler, you won't be able to keep track of one thing before another thing is being knocked over or dumped out." Jay smirked and stopped folding the sweater he held in his hand, "After all I'm preparing you for the baby."

Jay laughed, "Alright, I'll quit comparing you to our baby." He placed the sweater on top of a shelf. "Ready?" Erin nodded and followed Jay out of her apartment and to the car.

Erin buckled while Jay tossed his gym bag in the trunk before coming around to the drivers side, plopping in the seat and starting the car.

"You got the sonogram pictures?" Jay asked before pulling out of the parking lot.

"Yeah, I put them in your bag." Erin explained and smiled nervously, "I'm kind of worried about what Hank will say."

"What do you mean?" Jay questioned as he drove down the street. "Its not like Voight doesn't know you're pregnant."

Erin sighed, "I know, I just don't want to be treated differently."

Jay chuckled softly, "Hate to break it to you but you are different."

Erin rolled her eyes and stared out the window. "Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I can't do the same stuff I used to."

Jay tightened his fingers around the steering wheel, his knuckles turned white, "Erin, not this again."

"Not what again, Jay?" Erin whipped her head towards her boyfriend, a scowl on her face.

"The whole desk duty thing, Erin. You seriously think that it's even remotely wise for you to be out on bust when you're pregnant?" Jay flicked the blinker and made the turn down the street of the district.

"I'm not talking about busts!" Erin groaned loudly, "How would feel if you had to sit behind a desk for nine months straight?"

"If it was to make sure nothing happened to an unborn baby, then I would do everything possible. Desk duty, bed rest, vacation days." Jay listed as he pulled in front of the district

Erin unbuckled her seat belt, "I don't even know why I say anything anymore." She got out of the car and made her way to the front steps of the station.

Jay turned off the car and went to the trunk to grab his bag. He rushed over to his girlfriend who was talking to Platt. He walked passed them and waited by the gate, he watched as Erin took a file from Plat. Erin glanced over at him before she scanned her palm and walked passed him.

"Erin," Jay pleaded.

Erin didn't acknowledge him and just walked up the bullpen stairs to her desk. She took a pen out and started to read over her medical forms that Platt had her double check before she had to file them.

Jay shrugged his coat off and went straight to the locker room, dropped his bag on the wooden bench and started to put away some of his extra clothes onto the metal shelf. He heard footsteps coming down the hall.

The footsteps belonged to Erin, she paused and leaned against the door frame of the locker room.

Jay glanced up at her before he went back to putting away his things. He grabbed the envelope that held the sonogram photos, "Here."

Erin walked over and sat on the bench, taking them from him. She pulled out the pictures and smiled, her finger traced over the corner of the paper.

Jay hung his bag up and shut his locker door, he leaned against the row of lockers, his arms crossed over his chest. "Talk to me."

Erin looked over at Jay, "I don't have anything to say."

Jay unfolded his arms and stepped over the bench so he was straddling it, "I know that's not true. Please, tell me what is going on."

Erin sighed and tucked the photos back in the envelope, "I just love doing this job, I don't want to give it up."

"You are still going to be in the unit, it's not like you are being demoted or transferred."

"But all I'm going to be doing is sitting and filling out stupid papers. It's not like I'll be saving lives or breaking down doors with you guys."

Jay nodded, understanding, "You might not being doing the physical stuff but you'll be needed to talk with CIs, shaking down idiotic store owners to release video tapes." He nudged her in the shoulder, "You'll still be there to scare the shit out of preps in interrogation."

Erin chuckled, "I am pretty good at it."

Jay smiled and leaned over to press his lips against Erin's temple, "So, no more fighting about desk duty?"

Erin nodded, "Yeah, no more fighting." She moved to rest her head on Jay's chest as he drew circles on her back. The locker room was silent before Erin let out a tired yawn.

"Come on, let's go talk to Voight." Jay stood up and held out his hand.

Erin smiled and grabbed his hand as he led the way to Hank's office. She knocked on the door and waited to be waved in.

Voight was seated at his desk, he tapped at his keyboard and glanced up at the two detectives, "Morning, nice to see you back Erin."

Erin smiled, "Happy to be back." She said taking a seat across from Hank while Jay stood next to the empty chair.

"How are you feeling?" Hank looked at Erin.

Erin shrugged, "Good most days."

"You get your physical and forms signed?" Erin nodded, "You think about what you are going to do now?"

Erin looked over at Jay, who gave her a reassuring smile and nod, "Desk duty."

Hank gave her a small smile, "Good choice."

"But I still want to do interrogations and meet with CIs." Erin stated firmly.

Hank clenched his jaw, took a few long seconds to think, "Okay, fair enough." He looked over at Jay who was staring at Erin, a smirk on his face. "You okay with this?"

Jay nodded, "Yes Sarge, we talked a lot about this. Plus I will be with her at every meeting and interrogation."

"As expected, you are her partner." Hank said and looked over to Erin, he spotted she held something in her hand, "More forms?"

"Huh? Oh. No, here." She handed Voight the envelope.

Voight flicked open the tab and pulled out the pictures, a tight lipped smile spread across his face. He looked up at Erin, his eyes lightened. "Wow."

Erin grinned, "I know. It's amazing, isn't it?" She glanced up at Jay who walked behind her to rest his hands on her shoulder, squeezing lightly.

"How far along?"

"Nine weeks." Erin informed.

Hank nodded, "You guys busy tomorrow night?"

"No..." Erin raised her eyebrow, "why?"

"Dinner. 6 o'clock. I'll make whatever you want."

"City Chicken?" Erin's eyes sparkled and her mouth watered at the thought.

Hank and Jay both chuckled at the eagerness of her.

"Sure," Hank glanced down at the photos, "Congratulations to you both."

"Thanks Sarge," Halstead leaned over the desk to give Voight a firm handshake.

Voight stood up, released his hand before he walked to Erin's side, she stood up when she saw him open his arms. Erin walked into the hug and smiled, "Thank you, Hank."

 **So what did you think? Also next chapter will skip ahead to Erin being four months pregnant. Let me know if you'd like a flash back of the dinner.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you all for the reviews. I'm not sure why the review count is low, was the last chapter not that appealing? Did it lack something? Feedback is helpful so I know what to improve.**

 **Anyway, enjoy! This is my longest chapter yet and it was fun to write. Hope you all agree.**

"I like Elijah." Erin stated as turned her head in Jay's lap and looked up at him with a smile.

Jay grinned and reached for his cell phone on the small table beside the couch. The glow of his phone illuminated his face in the darkened living room. "I think Lauren is a cute for a girl."

Erin nodded and sat up to adjust the pillow that rested on Jay's lap, "Me too, add that to the list." She dropped her head back down and let out a small tired sigh. The movie Jay had on ended and the credits rolled through, he grabbed remote to power the television off.

Jay finished typing and placed his phone on the arm of the couch, "How was your shower?" he moved his hand to run his fingers through Erin's wet hair. The other hand rested on the slight swell of her stomach, he drew circles on top of the thin material of her robe.

"Relaxing. I needed it," Erin's dimples appeared as she watched her boyfriend's large hand cover her bump. Jay had a great appreciation; maybe more of a fascination with her new body. Every minute he got, his hand reached for her stomach. At night they would fall asleep with Jay protectively cradling her belly. In the morning he would wake up Erin by talking softly to the baby. It made Erin melt, there was so much love in the tone of his voice, the softness of his touches. Jay was so happy to be a father. She could only imagine what he was going to be like when the baby was born.

"I think your stomach grew since this morning." Jay commented.

"Mhm." Erin's mumbled and her eyelids started to feel heavy. The dark room and soft humming of the air conditioner lulled her to sleep.

Jay continued to rub her belly, the silk robe tie started to loosen from his constant contact. "Want to head to bed?" He whispered and leaned down to press his lips to his girlfriend's forehead.

Erin groaned softly and turned to her side so her back was aligned with the back of the couch. She breathed in and out steadily, her eyes were firmly shut now. Jay slipped his hand through the opening of her robe, his fingers caressed her bare, smooth skin. He could feel her stomach rise and fall with every breath she took.

"Er?" Jay said just above a whisper. With no response from her, he sighed and glanced over at the cable box. It wasn't even nine o'clock and Erin was out cold. He couldn't blame her, they did have a long day.

The unit just got bombarded with a new case. Everyone was running around, calling CIs and had several people in interrogation. Jay and Erin spent most of their day talking with neighbors on whether or not anyone seen anything suspicious. They came up empty until a seven year old stopped them as he was riding his scooter and told them of some guys trying to pry open a car door with a screwdriver. Turned out the guys were the newest members of a gang that were a part of distributing drugs to clubs. The guys were caught and led to interrogation, a quick talk and threat of some jail time, the young guys gave up their boss. The case was closed by the end of the day. But it was a long day.

Jay looked down at Erin, his hand unthreaded from her hair to grab his phone. He tapped the internet browser and engrossed himself in his bookmarked articles of becoming a father and pregnancy.

Jay read through what to expect for being four months pregnant. Cravings and increased appetite was on the top of the list. He chuckled softly, recalling a few hours ago, while at dinner with Hank, Erin was able to finish off her half slab of ribs, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob and she even picked at Jay's spaghetti. Even before the pregnancy, Erin could eat. But Jay never thought she could pile it in so fast, he was surprised she didn't complain of a stomach ache or got sick on the way home. It was just the opposite, before her shower she mentioned something about wanting ice cream when she got out. That idea was forgotten about when the topic of baby names were brought up.

Tomorrow was when they would find out the gender. Everyone at the district had their input of what Erin was going to have. Most of the guys of course stuck together that they think she was having a boy, Jay included. Erin, however thought differently. She had been having dreams and all of them were of her having a daughter.

Finding out the gender would bring good news to them. They needed something other than work to focus on. Work was exhausting and definitely took a toll on both of them. Physically and mentally exhausting. Erin still tried to keep her emotions in tact but she was finding it harder and harder to do at work. She had always been one to hide her emotions, rarely anyone saw her cry but there were days that she didn't care if someone saw her shed a few tears in the locker room over a frustrating case. Jay was always the first to step in and console her. But lately she pushed him away, she said that she was fine and that she was just picturing herself in the victim's shoes too much. All Jay could do was agree and let her be. Many occasions he wanted to go to Voight and clue him in, but he knew that would only make Erin mad. So he kept to himself.

Jay felt distant, like he couldn't connect with this side of Erin. Sure, _she_ would come to him when _she_ needed a hug or pep talk. But when it came to him reaching out, he was shot down. Erin looked at him like he was treating her like a baby or like she some sort of fragile woman.

A few times, Erin snapped at him when he suggested to take a break from paperwork or calling around to other districts for information.

It was a case that happened two days ago that really worried Jay. He could tell Erin was getting too involved in it. She wouldn't even take a break to eat. All she did was sit at her desk, flipping through a file the size of a dictionary. There was an occasional mutter from her along the lines of "Where is this guy?" or "how awful, poor kids." as she dug through the charges and police reports. After three trips to the bathroom, the file tucked under her arm, Jay finally pulled her aside. She was going to make herself sick. He couldn't go through that again.

"Erin, please just take a ten minute break. Let's go grab some tacos or something." He offered, his hand ran up and down her arm, trying to coax her.

Erin shrugged his hand away and pushed passed him, heading towards the woman's bathroom, "Can't. Have to figure out this guy's whereabouts."

"Ten minutes isn't going to matter anymore because the guy is-"Jay sighed and followed her up until she turned around, almost hitting him in the face with the file, "jeez, what where you're swinging, Er."

"Ten minutes does matter!" Erin hissed, "Do you know how long it can take for him to kidnap another child?! How long that child will have to endure the shit that psychopath guy will put them through before he's on to the next child?" Tears fell from her eyes, she struggled to catch her breath.

"Erin," Jay reached out to wipe the tears but Erin swatted his hand away.

"Just don't touch me. Don't talk to me." Erin muttered and made her way to the bathroom.

Jay heard the click of the lock followed by sobs from Erin. He waited a few minutes until her heard the sound of faucet running before he made his way back to his desk.

Erin was right that ten minutes did matter when it came to solving a case. But the case was already solved, the guy was locked up and caught. Jay wanted to explain to her but he wasn't getting through. Erin was stubborn. Finally, Hank got through. He had to practically take her the holding cell, to prove that the guy wasn't going anywhere.

The car ride home that day was silent. That whole night was silent. They ate, showered and went to bed. Erin curled up on her side and Jay turned to his side, a pillow length between them.

Erin was tired. She desperately seeked sleep, but couldn't. Her mind was wandering of images from the children of that case. She sighed heavily and turned to lie on her back, her hand rested over her belly. Erin tilted her head to the side to see the back of Jay's head, pressed firmly in his pillow. "Jay," she whispered in the dead of night.

"Hm?" he grumbled, he stared out at the large full moon that peeked through the slightly open curtains.

Erin's lip quivered and she shut her eyes tightly, holding back tears, "Jay, I-" she squeaked out.

Jay turned to find Erin's face, he flicked on the bedside light, "Erin, what's wrong?" He glanced over her body. Nothing seemed to be visibly wrong.

Erin sat up and brought her knees as close to her as she could. She hugged them tight and cried, her eyes fused shut. "Those innocent kids.." she caught her breath, "That sick perv..."

Jay scooted over to her side, his arm rubbed her back, "Shh.." he pressed his lips to Erin's temple, "Erin, it's over. Everyone is safe and home."

Erin hiccuped, a few sobs escaped and she still hadn't opened her eyes. Jay just held her. The soft rubbing of her back seemed to calm her and she was able to catch her breath. "I can't..I can't sleep."

"Just try, Erin. I'll be right here." Jay pulled the comforter over her more, tucking it on the side. He rested his other hand on her belly, "You shouldn't stress, Erin. Remember the baby."

Erin nodded and dropped her hand to cover his, "I'm sorry for shutting you out."

Jay shook his head, "Don't worry about me. Focus on you and this one." he patted her belly softly as he pressed another kiss on her, "now lie back and get some sleep. If you still don't feel good in the morning, we'll take a sick day."

Erin nodded and closed her eyes, "I love you."

Love you too, Erin." Jay smiled and watched her drift to sleep.

The days from there, went smoothly. Erin took the morning off following the pedophile case and just relaxed. It was nice not to worry about getting up early with little to no sleep. She could take her time eating breakfast, taking her shower and catching up on her recorded TV shows.

The next day went by quick, before they knew it they were less than twenty four hours away from finding out whether they were having a girl or a boy.

Jay glanced down at Erin, his hand still rested on her bare stomach, he patted it softly, "Erin." he shook her shoulder. She didn't even stir. Jay shook a little harder, "Erin. Come on." Nope. Nothing. Jay braced himself, linked one offish arms under Erin's legs and the arm sprawled across her back, she mumbled and rested her head against his chest. Jay stood up, securely holding Erin in his arm. She complained that the extra weight was making it difficult to fit into any of her clothes, but Jay didn't think she weighed any different than the last time he carried her. He skillfully carried her to the bedroom, tucked her in and went around to his side. He stripped of his T-shirt and jeans, leaving him now in his boxers. Jay slid between the sheets and scooted closer to Erin, his chest pressed against her back, his hand found comfort over her belly; while breath tickled her neck as he yawned.

"Mm..Jay?" Erin mumbled and shifted closer to him. Needing to feel his touch and warmth.

"Yeah?" He pressed his lips over the pulse of her neck.

"I'm really excited about tomorrow." She hummed.

"Me too." Jay agreed, "Still think it's girl?"

Erin turned her body to she was still on her side, but facing Jay. He never dropped his hand from her stomach. "Yeah, it's a girl."

Jay chuckled and kissed the tip of her nose, "You are going to be so mad when the doctor says it's a boy."

Erin rolled her eyes and went to knee him lightly in the leg but before she could make contact Jay dropped his hand from her belly and caught her leg "Hey! Halstead, let me go!" she pushed on his chest as he found her tickle spot. She broke out in uncontrollable laughter.

It was the sound he missed. He needed to hear it.

Erin caught her breath and tried to wiggle away from him. "Jay! Okay, enough." She kissed him quickly which stopped his finger from its sweet torture. Jay kissed her back before they both rested their heads on their pillows. They stared at one another before they both drifted to sleep.

 **What did you guys think? I felt like I was all over the place, just like Erin's emotions.**

 **Okay guys, I'm taking a poll. What do you think Erin should have? A boy or a girl? I'll tally everyone's prediction and it be revealed in the next chapter. Name suggestions are helpful too!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Before you guys read I want to thank all for the reviews and feedback. That said,** _ **please**_ **don't be mad at me for what you are about to read. I have a feeling 90% of you will be upset...all I ask is don't hate me and aren't disappointed.**

 **Enjoy (I hope.)**

The smell of bacon and eggs filled the air when Erin awoke. She sat up, smiled, untangled her feet from the comforter and adjusted her robe as she stood up. As she walked out of the bedroom and towards the kitchen, the soft sound of the news played on the tv and Jay was heard humming softly. Erin grinned when she caught glimpse of him cooking, shirtless. She licked her lips and chewed on the side of cheek. Trying to make as little noise as possible she tip toed to the kitchen, sneaking up behind him. Her hand sprawled over his abs, her cheek rested on his toned back.

"Morning." She placed a kiss in between his shoulder blades.

Jay chuckled and turned the stove off, moving the pan he had the eggs cooking in off the burner, "Good morning," he turned to face Erin who smiled up at him, her dimples deep. Jay leaned down and placed a kiss to her lips, "you hungry?"

Erin shook her head and moved her hands up Jay's chest before she linked them around his neck. Herr fingers toyed with the hairs at the nape of his neck and she stood on her tiptoes to capture his lips with hers. Jay's hands gripped her hips, the cool, smooth material of her robe felt nice as his thumb rubbed circles. A moan escaped Erin's mouth as she deepened the kiss, her breathing became erratic.

"Erin," Jay groaned and pulled away, feeling lightheaded, his lips plump and moist.

Erin slowly opened her eyes, lust apparent, "Jay...please," she responded with a sultry whisper. Erin wasn't one to beg. She was normally one who was straightforward and occasionally blunt. Jay couldn't complain, he actually gotten quite used to the _needy_ side of Erin. Reaching the second trimester, their love life definitely was at its all time high. Sex was great before the pregnancy, but now, it was more amazing. Something with the extra blood flow and sensitivity to Erin's new body made everything better.

"We have to leave in an hour," Jay commented his hands still on her hips.

"Then you better hurry." Erin raised an eyebrow with a grin plastered on her face. She ran her finger along the elastic of Jay's boxers causing a grunt to slip past his gritted teeth. Her hand was stopped from furthering its quest as Jay grabbed her wrist and pulled her swiftly to the bedroom. The door slamming shut behind them.

.

Jay bounced his legs as he stared at the pregnancy chart in the doctor's office, Erin laid back on the table, her fingers laced together and rested her hands just above her small bump. A sigh escaped her lips as she waited anxiously for the technician to come in.

Jay moved his chair over to the side of Erin, he brought his hand up to rest on her belly, "Ready to get your picture taken, little one? Remember no hiding." Erin laughed and shut her eyes. "What?" Jay questioned.

Erin shook her head, "Nothing. It's cute when you talk to the baby."

Jay smiled, "I read that the baby can recognize voices even from inside the womb."

"You read too much," Erin opened one eye to peek at him, a smile tugged on in her lips.

"You can never be too informed," Jay pointed.

Erin nodded, half listening. Her nerves were all over the place and she just wished they could find out the gender of the baby already. The waiting was slowly killing her.

As if the technician read Erin's mind, there was a knock and the technician entered. A warm smile she shared with the expectant parents. "Good morning," she greeted. "You two ready to see your baby?"

"Yes please." Erin smiled.

"Alright, let's get down to business then. If you will, lift your shirt up." Erin did so and watched as Heather, the technician, squirt some blue-ish clear gel onto her belly. There was a strong heartbeat heard that still made Erin get ready eyed. It was the greatest sound in the world.

Jay looked from Erin, to her belly then as the small monitor the finally came into focus with a clear image of their baby. A perfect outline of a rounded head, body and full limbs. The technician clicked away on the keys of the ultrasound machine. The full image of their baby zoomed in to just its head.

"Looks like this ones as found it's thumb." Heather commented.

"Look at that," Jay chuckled in disbelief as he watch the baby suck it's thumb in between its lips. It's firsts almost hitting its little nose.

"That's a amazing." Erin blurted and just stared.

"Are you guys wanting to find out the gender today?"

Erin nodded and pushed her shirt up more, she rubbed her skin as it itched from the band of her sports bra that rode up her back, causing a tightness over her swollen chest.

"Any guesses?" Heather wondered.

"I've been having dreams of a girl." Erin explained.

"But the majority of the people at work are betting on a boy," Jay informed.

"Which means he wants a boy." Erin grinned at her boyfriend who shrugged and nodded.

Heather chuckled at the interaction and moved the wand over Erin's belly, the screen went from profile of the baby's face to its legs. With a few clicks on the keyboard, the image focused on the space between the baby's legs, "Well, it looks like your colleagues are going to be pleased."

"What?" Erin looked at the screen then at the technician.

Jay couldn't help but laugh. The joy was too much. "A boy?"

"Yes, you are expecting a baby boy." Heather zoomed in, revealing a clear view that they were definitely having a boy.

Erin smiled and reached out towards Jay, she grabbed his hand and kissed the back of it, "A son."

Jay smirked and leaned over to place a kiss on Erin's lips.

 **So..do you hate me? It was brought to my attention from a reviewer that most often Linstead baby fics have girls. Plus, I have one fic of Linstead with a daughter. I want a fresh mind, so for the sake of not feeling like in I'm stealing from other fics and imagining my other story, that is why I chose a boy for them. I hope I don't lose readers or betray anyone's trust. Please, let me know what you'd like to see.**

 **Also, sorry this one was short. After scraping this three time and racking my brain over whether or not I was doing the right thing when it came to the gender, I thought this was my best.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you all for the reviews. I was really happy to see that no one was mad in my decision of changing the baby's gender. I tend to worry too much and the kind words from you all really washed that away. I still can't believe I'm at 185 reviews. Wow. Lol. Thanks!**

 **Enjoy.**

Erin glanced down at her cellphone on her lap when she heard it chime. She sighed and picked it up before turning it face down on the side table next to the couch, when she saw it was a new text message from her mother. The third one in the last hour.

Bunny had been trying to get back in touch with her for about a month. At first, she'd send weekly text messages and left a few voicemails. They all sounded sincere and motherly. Bunny would ask how she was doing? How was work? If she wanted to grab a drink with her cousins? But then it got too much. She kept calling daily.

After the first three Erin listened out of guilt but then as they persisted she just deleted them without even looking at them. The minute Bunny flashed across her screen she moved the voicemail and text to trash.

Erin sighed deeply and went back to her iPad she was looking up baby furniture phone rang and she looked at the caller ID, Jay blinked across her screen. She swiped to answer it, a smile on her face. "Hey."

"Hey there." Erin heard the sound of Jay's car chirp when he unlocked it.

She shifted her feet from under her, groaning softly at her achy back. "You off?"

"Yeah, thought I'd stop by. Bring some food." Jay clicked his seatbelt and started his car. "How you feeling?"

Erin sighed and rubbed her head, "Okay, just tired."

Jay hummed, "You still craving Mexican?"

Erin scrunched her nose and shook her head, "No. I've suffered enough heartburn for a while." she heard Jay chuckle on the other end, "What about salad and shakes?"

"Alright, sounds good." Jay pulled out of the district parking lot, "I'll be at your place soon."

"Yep, see you soon." Erin hung up and tossed her phone on the couch cushion next to her. She went back to her iPad, making mental notes of what she would want. The sound of knocking brought her out of 'oohs' and 'ahhs' of the baby stuff.

Erin placed her iPad on the cushion next to her phone and stood up, adjusting her hoodie and pajama pants while she walked over to her door. She undid the deadbolt and expected Jay to be standing in the hall. "Did you lose your key again?" Erin paused and looked out at the blonde older woman, "Mom? What are you doing here?"

Bunny gave her daughter a small smile, her hair bobbed as she shifted from foot to foot, "Why haven't you returned any of my calls?"

Erin sighed and leaned against the door frame with one hand and the other rubbed circles in her back. "I've been busy, Mom."

Bunny glanced down at her daughter's attire, the clear form of a bump protruded out of Jay's hoodie she wore, "Wow. When did that happen?"

Erin looked down at her belly and placed her hands over it, defensively guarding herself, "What do you want Mom?" she pressed, an annoyed tone apparent in her voice. If her mother didn't get the clue from her tone she rolled her eyes, adding an extra punch.

"I've been worried about you. I haven't seen you in a while."

"Well you saw me now," Erin said flatly and stepped back to shut her door, "Goodbye."

Bunny reached out to keep the door from shutting, "Erin. Please-"

Erin clenched her jaw and swung the door open fully, "Listen. I don't care what you have to say or why you are here. I told you that we weren't good for one another and need a break. Now please," Erin huffed, "please respect me and just go."

Bunny went to say something but was cut off when Jay approached, bags of food in his hand. He looked from mother to daughter and arched his brow to Erin, "Everything okay here?"

Erin nodded and stepped aside so Jay could walk in. She smiled when he pressed his lips to her temple.

"Congratulations Detective Halstead," Bunny sung.

Erin squinted at her mother and pursed her lips together, "Goodbye Bunny." she said as she firmly closed the door and locked it. Erin stood on her tiptoes and watched through the peep hole as her mother stormed away.

"You good?" the softness of Jay's voice was heard.

Erin turned and walked down the short hall to meet her boyfriend as he leaned against the wall, "Yeah."

Jay nodded small and extended his hand around her back, "And your back?"

"Still hurts," Erin sighed and rested her head against his chest. He applied more pressure, rubbing deeper.

Erin closed her eyes and focused on work of Jay's massage. A deep content sigh escaped her lips.

"What's Bunny up to?"

"I dunno." Erin mumbled in Jay's chest, she linked her arms around his middle, hugging him tightly.

Jay didn't press, he just held her and rubbed her back more. "What do you think about me moving in here?"

Erin pushed off his chest, she looked at him with her eyes wide. Her breath hitched and she couldn't think.

"Erin?" Jay watched as he saw panic struck his girlfriend.

.

"The potatoes are really good, Hank." Erin commented as she jabbed another Yukon Gold with her fork.

Hank gave her a tight lipped smile followed by a grunt of acknowledgement. He eyed Jay across the dining room table, "How about you Halstead?"

Jay paused, his mouth gaped open as he left his fork mid air with a piece of steak speared through it, "Everything is excellent Voight."

Erin snorted a laugh and muttered something under her breath before she popped a brussel sprout in her mouth. Her chewing prevented her from saying anything more.

Jay darted his eyes from Hank to Erin before he returned to stare down at his plate.

Hank cleared his throat and patted his mouth with the cloth napkin he had in his lap. The tension in the room was thick. He could sense there was something up between the two detectives the moment they entered his home. Even though Erin tried to mask her emotions with a grin and Jay kept quiet with his hands shoved deep in his pockets, they weren't fooling anyone.

"What's going on between you two?" Hank questioned, his eyes played ping pong between Erin and Jay, the gaze was stern, which meant he'd better get answers. Now.

"Nothing." Erin said quietly as she kept her focus on her dinner plate, watching the butter from the potatoes pool over to mix in with the steak sauce.

Hank huffed and glanced over at Jay, "Let me guess, you're going to say 'nothing' too?"

Jay looked over at his sergeant, he shrugged, "We are just having a disagreement." he left it at that and took another bite of his steak.

Voight nodded and returned his gaze to Erin who rolled her eyes and dropped her silverware on her plate, "Unbelievable." She shook her head and pushed her chair back. "Is nothing ever private anymore?"

"Erin," Hank protested, he watched as she tossed her napkin on top of her plate and left the room.

Jay sighed and pushed back his chair, he held up his hand signalling Hank to stay put, "It's fine. I'll talk to her."

Jay walked out the dining room and caught up with Erin. He reached to grab her arm as she veered right to make her way into the bathroom. "Erin. Just stop."

Erin shrugged her arm from his grasp and spun to face him, "Leave me alone, Jay."

"You're being awfully rude to Voight, who invited us over and prepared this big meal." Jay pointed out firmly.

"I'm being rude?" Erin chuckled sarcastically before she clicked her tongue in disgust. "I'm not the one airing out our personal business to anyone!"

Jay rubbed the back of his neck and sighed deeply, "There is no need to yell." he said calmly.

Erin clenched her jaw, her rounded belly was used as a armrest as she crossed her arms over her chest. "We said that we would leave our issues at the front door."

Jay nodded, "All I said was that we were having a disagreement."

Erin groaned and glared at him, "It's still no one business but ours. Period. As far as I'm concerned, Hank knows we are here, alive and fine. There is nothing wrong."

"Oh, okay. Great." Jay shook his head and held back a laugh, "So because you said it then I have to follow through?" he said coldly. "I'm not being fake or pretending nothing is wrong, Erin."

"I'm done with this conversation." Erin shut down and walked to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

Hank appeared in the hall, his eye wide with concern as he stared at Jay, "Everything alright?"

Jay approached him and shrugged, "Ask her. She'll tell you what you want to hear." he hitched his thumb behind towards the bathroom door.

"Go outside, take a drive. Don't come back 'til you have a clear head." Hank ordered and Jay agreed. He watched as the detective left out the front door.

There were soft sobs heard as Hank stood in front of the door, he tapped his knuckles on the wood.

"Go away," Erin said shakily, she blew her nose into a piece of wadded up toilet paper.

"Erin, it's me." Hank said softly, a rare and reserved tone he saved for the people he cared about the most, "can you please come out?"

Hank pressed his ear to the door, he heard footsteps and the sound of the faucet running stopped. Hank stepped back, leaned against the hallway wall and waited for Erin to exit.

He watched as the doorknob of the bathroom turned slowly, the click of the lock undone. Erin flicked the light off and made her way into the hall. She avoided looking at anything but the oriental runner that aligned the long hall. "What?"

"Cut the attitude and tell me what's wrong." Hank raised a brow to her.

"Nothing Hank, we're fine. Just drop it." Erin said and headed down the hall. She walked into the dining room, picking up the dinner plates.

Hank took the plates from her and set them back down on the table. He pointed to the chair, "Sit."

Erin rolled her eye and groaned, annoyed but listened and took a seat, she clasped her hands together in her lap.

Hank sat back down at the head of the table and just stared at Erin, he waited until she looked up at him, "Talk," he commanded.

Erin sighed and ran her hand through her hair, "Jay wants to move in."

Hank leaned forward, "Okay…" not understanding what the big deal was.

"I don't know if I'm ready." Erin spoke just above a whisper.

"Erin, you're 18 weeks pregnant. When do you think it's the right time for Halstead to move in then?"

Erin sighed and let her head fall into her hands, "it's just too much."

"What is?" Hank pressed.

"Everything!" Erin exclaimed snapping her head straight. "Preparing for the baby, working the long hours, Bunny trying to reach me and me being pregnant is a whole list of things. Now, Jay decides he should move in?"

Hank leaned back and shook his head, "Wait..did you say Bunny is back?"

Erin chuckled bitterly, "Yep. Perfect timing, right?"

"What does she want?"

Erin shrugged, "Don't know. Don't care."

Hank understood fully. Ever since Nadia and then the Beckett lawsuit, Bunny has been nothing but trouble. Nothing ever comes out good when Bunny hops out of her hole. "Does Jay know she's back?"

Erin nodded, "Yeah, he was there when she showed up at my place."

Hank wanted to cut to the chase, "So tell me why you don't want him to move in with you?"

"I never lived with a guy before." Erin admitted, "I like what we have now. I like that if things get bad or something, he has his place to crash at."

"Have things been bad?"

"No...but what happens if we fall apart?"

"Then you try and fix it." Hank told, "No one ever said relationships are easy Erin."

Erin laughed annoyed, "You sound like Dr. Charles."

Hank grunted and gritted his teeth, "You should talk to Jay. Lay everything out on the table. Tell him exactly how you feel and go from there."

"Yeah, you're right." Erin agreed, "I just feel overwhelmed right now."

"I know, kid." Hank leaned forward and squeezed her knee, "Don't worry about anything else but Jay and that baby. I'll handle Bunny."

"But what-"

"End of story." Hank said firmly. "Go call Halstead." He released her knee and leaned back.

She gave Hank a small smile before she got up and grabbed her phone, taking it into the living room. Erin sat on the couch, dialed Jay's number and went to press 'call' when the sound of the front door opening caused her to stop and looked up to find Jay standing there, "Hi."

"Hey." Jay responded.

"We should probably head out," Erin commented, "I know we both have things to discuss."

Jay nodded, "Yeah, I agree."

Erin shifted and stood up from the couch. She felt a pain in her lower abdomen, taking her off guard, "Ow."

Jay rushed over to help her sit back down, "You okay?"

Erin rubbed under her belly, "I don't know."

"We should go to the hospital." Jay stated, his face had worry written all of it. "I'll let Hank know." Erin nodded and rested back into the couch as she rubbed circles over her shirt holding back tears and willed herself to remain calm.

 **I had some fun writing the dinner scene. Hopefully you guys enjoyed reading it.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey guys! I must sound like a broken record. But thank you all. This story has been a blast to write and I love doing it! This will be my highest reviewed story and I'm not even done with it! I have never reached 200 reviews before so, for the 200th reviewer, I want to do something special. I'll message the 200th reviewer (if not under guest/anonymous) and we'll discuss.**

 **Enjoy!**

Erin bowed her head, looking at her hand as she picked at her clear nail polish. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Jay shift in the chair next to her. She glanced down at her hands again and tossed her head back, sighing softly. "What is taking them so long?"

Jay leaned over and placed his hand over her knee, he gave it a gentle squeeze, "We have to be patient. There are people ahead of us." he tried to say calmly.

Erin could hear the hint of worry in his voice and she looked over at his face, confirming that he was in fact worried. Erin rested her head on his shoulder and looked down at her belly, she lifted her hand to rest on top of it. "What if waiting isn't good-"

"Stop." Jay muttered, "We can't have you think like that," he moved his hand up and down her thigh, "we have to remain positive."

Erin nodded and dropped her hand to his, curling her fingers into his palm while he brushed her knuckles with his thumb.

"Has that pain happened again?" Jay asked. Erin responded by shaking her heading. "You feel anything?"

Erin glanced up and shrugged, "I felt some fluttering," she tried her best to explain it, "felt like butterflies when you're nervous."

Jay tried to remember if there was anything he read about that would explain what she was feeling. The only thing he could recall was that some mothers felt the fluttering because that was the baby moving for the first time. But he couldn't pinpoint what the pain Erin experienced was about.

"Erin Lindsay," a nurse called.

Jay stood up and reached his hand out for Erin to take. She did and stood up - there is was again - that little ping of pain. It wasn't anything to make her cry. It was just like a little rubber band snap. She winced and soothed her belly, making her way over to the nurse. Jay followed, his hand rested on the small over back, watching her intently at any facial changes.

Jay took his normal spot while Erin sat down on the cushioned exam table which was covered by paper.

"You came in because you experienced some pain?" the nurse asked, as she washed her hands.

"Yes, right here," Erin rubbed over the left side of her stomach. She half expected the pain to happen again with the pressure she applied. But there was a flutter instead.

"Are you feeling it now?" the nurse moved over to Erin's side, she lifted her shirt up and pulled the band of her maternity jeans down. "Lie back."

Erin pressed her back firmly against the table, the paper crinkled under her. "Not since I stood up in the waiting room. But I do feel fluttering."

The nurse readied the ultrasound machine, "How far along are you?"

"18 weeks." Erin watched as the nurse squirted gel over her stomach.

"Any spotting?"

Erin shook her head, "No."

Jay took her hand and watched the nurse run the wand over Erin's belly. The soft thuds of their baby boy echoed through the small examining room. Both Erin and Jay sighed and shared a smile of relief.

"Does the baby look okay?" Jay swallowed nervously.

The nurse glanced at the screen on her monitor, she turned it so the couple could see, "Your son is just fine." She turned her attention to Erin, "What you were feeling - that ping of pain- " she clarified, "that is what we call round ligament pain."

"Is that normal?" Erin asked as she was handed a tissue, she wiped her belly and pulled down her shirt.

"Yes it is. The ligaments are stretching and thickening to support your expanding uterus. You'll experience more of that pain sadly, when you change positions too quickly."

"Oh great ." Erin muttered. She heard Jay chuckle from his seat. "Is there anything I can do to ease the pain?"

"Light exercise before bed will help. Sometimes a warm bath even." The nurse wheeled the ultrasound machine in the corner, out of the way, "Are you still working?"

"Yeah, I'm a detective at the 21st district."

"So you're on your feet all day?" the nurse asked.

"Not if I can convince her." Jay chimed in with a grin.

Erin looked over at him and rolled her eyes teasingly, "He practically has to handcuff me to my desk."

Jay chuckled, "I tried once, but she had to pee so I had to let her go."

The nurse laughed at the two exchange their banter, "All I suggest is to take it easy."

Erin nodded and felt a quick flutter, "I keep having this fluttering feeling. Is that the ligament pain too?"

Shaking her head and smiling, the nurse answered, "That would be your baby moving."

"Oh," Erin smiled back and stared down at her belly. She caressed it with both hands. Jay stood up from his chair to join her, pressing his lips to her temple. "Thank you."

The nurse smiled and left the room.

.

"So what do you want to watch?" Erin asked as she flipped through the TV guide, "Bones is on."

Jay shrugged, dropping his hand from behind his head to rest on Erin's belly as she sat between his stretched out legs, "I don't care."

Erin looked up at him, "You okay?"

Jay ran his tongue along his bottom lip before he sighed, "Why don't you want me moving in with you?"

Erin shifted to her side so she wasn't straining her neck, "It's not that I don't want you to-"

"Then what is it?" Jay pressed.

Erin sat up and turned so she was sitting in between Jay's legs still, but she faced him. Her hands ran up and down his shins. "I guess I'm scared."

"Of?" Jay took one of the throw pillows that were kicked to the floor and wedged it behind his back so he was sitting up straighter.

"I'm scared that if we take the next step, we'll get bored or something and break up."

"Erin I said before that I'm not going anywhere-"

"I know that. I just never had this kind of relationship before."

"So, what you don't think we'll last?"

"No." Erin stated firmly.

"Then you don't trust me?" Jay tried to be cool about it but internally his stomach was in knots and her could feel his heart racing.

Erin shook her head and crawled over so she was lying on top of him - well she was partially on top - she had to shift to her side to accommodate her belly. "Jay I trust you with my whole life, you know that." Erin spoke just above a whisper.

"So then let me move my shit in here." Jay rubbed Erin's shoulder as his other hand held her waist. "I mean what's the difference? I'm practically here every night. Plus, when the baby gets here, hell be a whole lot easier to have my help if I actually live here."

Erin nodded, "Yeah it would be easier." she looked up at him."You can move in." Jay smiled, " but-"

Jay frowned and grumbled, "But what?"

"You have to get rid of your armchair."

"But I love that armchair." Jay protested.

Erin swung her leg around to either side of Jay's legs, she propped herself up with her hands firmly pressed into his chest. She could feel him flex at the contact, his hands found her waist. "What do you love more?" Erin whispered, bringing her mouth inches from his, her eyes fixated on his blue ones, "Me?" she gave him a sweet kiss. Just long enough to keep him wanting more. "Or that armchair?" her hands snaked under his T-shirt.

"You. Always you." Jay captured her lips, kissing her passionately, showing her how much love he had for her.

 **Thank guys! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Up next: Halstead brothers!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Thank you all for the wonderful reviews. I know a few of you had make suggestions, don't worry I've taken all of them into consideration and plan on trying to work them into this story. Thank you to my tumblr friend firstamamawifeafriend for being my idea buddy.**

 **As always, enjoy!**

"I can't believe you guys are having a boy." Will commented as he took a sip of his beer.

"Yeah," Jay grinned over at his brother. He chuckled, still in a bit of disbelief that he was going to be a father; to a son, "speaking of boys, how's Nat doing with Owen?"

Will swallowed and placed it his bottle on the counter, "She's an amazing mother. Owen is a great baby so that's always good."

Jay nodded and picked at the label on his beer, "So what exactly is going on between you two?"

Will chuckled, "We're just friends. Things are just complicated right now for anything more."

Jay shifted to glance at the clock on the microwave,"We better get some boxes unpacked before Erin gets back and see all this."

Erin's living room had about a dozen boxes stacked up in the corner, her couch was pushed against the wall to accommodate Jay's things.

The only furniture he brought over from his place was a dresser, two lamps, a side table and an area rug. The rest of his furniture was put in storage, aside from his couch which was given to Will for his apartment.

"How are things with you and Erin?" Will asked, taking the scissor from the counter and walked over to the boxes, cutting them open.

Jay placed his beer on the counter and joined his brother, unloading some of his sports memorabilia. "They're okay. We hit a few bumps but I think we're getting back to normal."

"What kind of bumps?" Will set an autographed baseball on the coffee table.

Jay grabbed some dishes from a box marked 'kitchen' and put them away in the cupboards. He walked back to his brother and took his Blackhawks throw from him and tossed it over the back of the couch, "This," Jay expanded his arms out to the boxes, "the whole moving in thing was a little issue."

Will nodded, "It is a big step."

"Yeah, but it's a logical step." Jay commented, "we're starting a family."

Will shrugged, "Family don't always stay together." He took out some framed pictures and chuckled, "Why do you have this one?" he held up a photo of the two of them, in their preteen years. They both had cheesy grins and swim trunks on, Will had his arm slung around Jay's neck, almost holding him a headlock.

Jay glanced over at the photo, it made him smile widely, "Because right after that picture was taken, you pushed me into the lake and I bashed my nose on a rock."

Will laughed, "That's what you get for putting a garter snake in my bed."

"You broke my nose!" Jay groaned, pointed to his nose. "All you did was scream. There was no harm done to you."

"Oh get over it." Will rolled his eyes and shuffled through more frames, he paused and went silent.

Jay looked over his brother's shoulder, a small smile appeared, "She was so happy that day."

Will handed the photo to Jay and moved over to a different box. "Yeah," he mumbled.

Jay brushed his fingertip on top the glass, over his mother's face. She was in a wheelchair and her sons were on either side of her with their dad being his wife. Jay wore his army uniform and Will was dressed in a suit, holding up his diploma from college. "That was one of the last photos we took of all of us together."

"I know, I was there." Will commented and started to unpack more dishes from a box.

Jay glanced up at him, he sighed and set the photo on the coffee table. "I really appreciate you helping me."

Will gave him a nod and carefully stacked glasses in the cupboard, "It's no big deal. I said if I had the day off, I'd be here."

Jay smiled and smacked his brother's back, "Thanks man."

"Yeah, yeah." Will chuckled, "You just owe me."

"I thought the beer was payment," Jay moved over to the next cupboard, organizing it to make room for his stuff. Jay chuckled at the thought that most night they were eating out of takeout containers or off of paper plates. Both his and Erin's dishes were only take up space, but they'd figure out later. Right now he just wanted to get moved in and settled.

"I can get beer at my own place." Will pointed, "but steak on the other hand.."

Jay groaned, "Fine. I'll buy you dinner."

Will smiled at his little brother, "You're too kind, Jay." he lifted his hand to Jay's head, ruffling his hair before hooking his arm around his neck, putting him a headlock.

Erin came in, dropped her shopping bags as she witnessed the two brothers rough housing. She paused and watched as Jay was about to grab Will's leg, a quick maneuver Erin knew Jay mastered with criminals. "Do I have to put you two in timeout?"

Will froze, his arm still around Jay's neck. He swung his body 180° to spot Erin. "Oh, hey Erin."

Erin raised her brow, her eyes were bloodshot and her nose was red. She tilted her head to the side to look at her boyfriend. Jay took the moment to catch Will off guard- He kicked the back of Will's knee, sending him to stumble back, unlinking his arm from his neck and freeing him.

Will groaned and thudded to the tiled ground, he closed his eyes, "Not cool." he choked out.

Jay glanced down at his brother then at his girlfriend, "Hey." He placed a quick kiss to her cheek, "What's wrong?" his eyes danced across her features.

Erin sighed and shook her head. She felt herself get emotional again and didn't care to break down in front of Will.

Erin turned and walked in the bedroom, groaning at the neatly folded clothes set out on the bed, leaving her no room to rest. She just needed to nap, to rest her head and forget about her day.

"Erin," Jay whispered, poking his head in.

"I'm okay," Erin tried to convince as she started to move the piles of clothes to on top of the dresser.

Jay stepped into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him. "Did something happen at the mall?"

"It's stupid. Honestly, I'm fine." Erin groaned loudly, tilting her head back, willing the tears to the fall. She shut her eyes and let out slow deep breaths.

Jay took the pair of his jeans from her hands and took them in his, lacing their fingers together and led her to the bed. "Tell me what happened."

Erin finally opened her eyes which were glossy and her lip quivered when she spoke, "I was in line to checkout, there was a woman in front of me that had her son. He was about two and he kept on getting into things. Finally the mom just got fed up with him and she yelled. Then out of nowhere I had this vivid flashback of thing I knew, I was sobbing. Everyone was just staring at me, the cashier even gave me this pitiful look..." Erin looked up from her hands to Jay who gave her a similar look. She groaned and pulled her hands away, "I just want to be left alone for a while."

Jay exhaled slowly, "Erin-"

"Jay!" Erin shouted, annoyed. "Just go finish unpacking." She shifted to lie down on her side, her twenty-five week belly resting on a few bunched up pillows. Her feet curled under a pile of Jay's sweatshirts.

Jay patted her leg and squeezed her calf muscle as he stood up. He could hear her sniffling when he turned the doorknob, "Love you." he mumbled, exiting.

Erin sighed loudly when she heard the bedroom door click shut. This was stupid. Why was she having these flashbacks? She thought she was done with them. It had been years since she had one, well one that was that powerful. She felt weak. Emotionally drained and exhausted.

It was as if she was that four year old little girl again being pulled - more like dragged, out of Kmart. Even as she yelled and tried to fight back, her mother's grip was tighter. Erin swore her arm was going to be pulled if socket. The only damage was a huge bruise that was hidden under her tattered sweater.

 _It all started because she questioned her mom when they were leaving. At four, it came out more of whine but to Bunny, who patience was already worn thin, it was like nails on a chalkboard. Erin could remember sulking; her posture deflated and she let out an annoyed groan. Bunny tisked and grabbed her hand, pulling her along as they approached the cashier._

 _Four year old Erin stood on her tiptoes, her fingers gripping the counter, watching the cashier scan their items._

" _Mom can I get-"_

" _No." Bunny said quickly._

" _But I have quarters," Erin pointed to the Ringpop she'd been eyeing since they stood in line._

" _No." Bunny glared down at her, she swatted her hands from the counter, "Quit hanging on things. Go stand over there."_

 _Erin pouted and stomped her feet across the checkout area, plopping on a bench near the exit._

 _Bunny gathered the shopping bags and walked over to her daughter, "Let's go."_

 _Erin slid off the bench and walked with her mother outside. "Why can't I get the sucker?"_

" _Because I said no." Bunny said flatly._

" _But you promised! You said if I good, I get candy!" Erin balled her fists and stomped her feet in frustration. A typical tantrum._

 _Bunny swung around to look at her daughter, if looks could kill, Erin would be a goner. "I said no! Now let's go." Bunny walked a few steps but Erin didn't follow._

 _Erin crossed her arms over her chest, a glare of defiance on her face._

 _Bunny was fed up. She switched the bags shopping to one arm and reached to forcefully pull Erin along._

 _Erin could barely keep up with the quick pace of her mother. She tried to repel but Bunny's hands wrapped tighter around her arm, her nails dug into her skin. Erin tried to peel her mother's fingers from her arm but lost balance as Bunny sped up. Erin stumbled, falling to her knees._

 _Bunny huffed and yanked Erin up on her two feet, the pulling of her arm and dragging her continued until they reached the car. Bunny tossed the bags in the trunk, slamming it down forcefully which caused Erin to jump at the noise when she was getting herself buckled. She rubbed her arm and held back tears._

Erin wiped her eyes as the flashback faded. Her stomach turned and twisted making her get up. As quick as she could, she walked to the bathroom. Another flop of her stanch brought Erin to her knees. Her head dangled over her the toilet as she dry heaved. "Oh god," she groaned as the back of her throat burned. Erin shifted to sit on her butt with her back pressed firmly against the wall. She dropped her head in her hands, bringing her knees as close as her stomach would allow. Tears fell and gasps escaped her lips, which trembled when she sobbed harder. She near crawled back to the toilet as she felt another gurgle of her stomach. One hand supported her to hoover her head over the toilet, the other rested firmly on her stomach.

"It's okay." she soothed quietly feeling a little kick of her son. "I'll be okay."

 **Leave a review on what you thought. More drama, emotions and (sadly) Bunny to come. Until next time.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Thank you for the reviews. I decided to switch things up a bit for this chapter. As a warning this is borderline M rated. The content is revolving around abuse and may be disturbing to readers. Also, I've noticed that haven't hear from many on the last chapter, I hope by me changing things around hasn't lost anyone's interest in this story.**

 **Enjoy.**

 _The room was pitch black and cold as the winter took over Chicago. Bundled up in as many layers, curled up under a blanket was Erin. It was the third day without heat and the second night without Bunny._

 _Erin was six at the time and pretty independent but she had to be with a mother like Bunny, who would come in - more like fall into the house from whatever addiction she was fueling._

 _Erin did her best to stay warm and keep out of trouble. There was a small space heater that kept the small room heated but it kept going out due to shotty electrical. Bunny mentioned something about going to give the landlord a piece of her mind. But figuring that they were almost three months behind in rent Erin didn't think she'd win that battle._

 _Erin was just happy she had food to eat. Last time Bunny went off on one of her benders she'd left Erin with no food or money. Thankfully this time was different. There was a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter in the cupboard. That could last her a good week and a half if the bread wasn't already moldy._

 _Erin shifted, curling into a ball. The whistling of the wind made it impossible for her to sleep. Plus she was almost a popsicle with the draft coming in from under the door._

 _There was a loud slam of the front door that caused her to hide further under the covers. Footsteps of heavy boots took over the wind as she heard them trek up the rickety stairs. Erin held her breath and tried to remain as still as possible. She could hear her mother's voice clearly. Well there was a slur of her words, but that tone - nasally and annoying - definitely belonged to Bunny._

 _The clomping of the boots became louder and finally stopped. Erin listened closely hearing Bunny still slurring. Then a man's voice responded. Erin squeaked when she heard the metal doorknob of her bedroom turn. She slowly moved the blanket down just enough to see this man enter her room. His face contorted into a twisted smile as he approached her, taking a seat on the edge of her bed._

Erin gasped for air, sitting straight up. Her eyes adjusted to the dark bedroom, she reached for her cell phone, glancing at the time. She tried to take slow deep breaths as her heart was still racing. There was sweat covering her face and chest and a rush of heat radiated through her. Her quick movement caused Jay to stir next to her, he grumbled and then his snoring filled the room again when he drifted asleep. She calmed herself down and slowly sunk back into the mattress.

Her eyes drifted shut and she counted back from one hundred, letting sleep take over.

 _Erin let out a whimper, her face still half covered by her blanket, "Please don't hurt me."_

 _The man ignored her, leaning over to peel the blanket away from her face. His hand went to her face, softly caressing her cheek with his calloused thumb. Erin swallowed and looked wide eyed at him. She watched when he went to lean in, "Don't worry I'll be gentle-"_

 _Erin let out a high pitched scream and turned to bite the man's thumb, drawing blood. She scurried off the bed and ran into her closet, locking the door behind her. Hiding as deep as she could, she cried. Curled up, hugging her knees. She rocked back and forth, silently wishing she was some place else but there._

 _Erin used the back of her hand to wipe her eyes and nose, sobs still slipped past as she hid in the darkness. She heard the boots of the man clomp over to the closet. He muttered some disgust and profanity as he jiggled at the door knob. Erin held her breath when she heard the door as she watched the tip of the man's black boots come into her vision, Bunny stumbles in._

" _I found the whiskey." she slurs and pulls the man from entering the closet. Erin waits to hear her bedroom door shut before she quickly grabs her sheets and pillows off her bed and drags them into her closet, barricading herself in there._

Erin once again awakes in a sweat and looks over at her phone. She only slept for twenty minutes.

Sleep apparently not happening that night she gets up and goes out into the living room. She plopped on the couch and grabbed the remote, hoping there is some sort of marathon on to keep her up for the three hours until she has to be ready for work.

Erin gets through an episode of _Friends_ when the flashbacks start again. It was bad enough that disrupted her sleep but to have them occur when she was awake was just pure torture.

She got up and walked to the bathroom, flicking the light on when she entered. Standing in front of the mirror, she glanced up at her reflection. Her eyes had dark circles under them and her skin tone was pastey. She sighed and twisted the knob on the sink, letting the cold water spew out of the faucet. She cupped her hands under the water and splashed her heated face severval times before turning the water off and wiping her hands on a towel.

Erin could hear Jay mumble something followed by ruffling of the bed sheets, likely having a dream and turning over in his sleep. She opened the medicine cabinet above the sink to retrieve her toothbrush but as took it out of it place, the peg holding the shelf in place fell out causing the shelf to collapse and all the contents to tumble in the sink and to the floor.

Erin groaned as she knelt down to the floor picking up the toothpastes, dental floss, some bandaids off the floor. She picked up Jay's razor without realizing the blade was securely in, slicing her palm on the sharp edge of it. A stinging sensation radiated and she hissed when she saw blood trickle down her arm.

The loud noises of things falling woke up Jay. He rushed over, stumbling as he was still trying to wake up. "Erin?" His voice was filled with concern as he twisted the doorknob to open the bathroom.

Erin reached for a towel to cover her palm as she still sat on the floor. Tears of exhaustion and pain fell.

Jay stepped in to see Erin, he spotted her wrapped up hand and then eyed the blood, "What happened, are you okay?" he quickly crouched down and grabbed her hand, expecting the cut.

"It's's fine. I just nicked myself." she pulled away from him, covering her palm back up with the almost saturated towel. "Go back to bed."

Jay let out a growl and stared at his girlfriend. The past two weeks since he moved in have been the toughest. At first Erin's behavior was understandable, Jay look at it as an adjustment period. But for the last few days Jay could tell Erin was going through something. She wouldn't talk to him about anything. When asked, her normally response was " _I'm fine."_ Clearly she wasn't. She hadn't been sleeping or eating barely anything. She was distant and Jay, who could normally get through her to her, couldn't. He was beginning to worry and he didn't even know how to handle the situation.

Everyone saw the shift in Erin. At work, she would just stare at nothing. It took three or four times to get attention. Hank even pulled her into his office on many occasions, trying to get something, anything, out of her. But she didn't budge.

"Erin, please talk to me." Jay pleaded, looking from her eyes to her injured hand, he went to remove the towel but she glared at him.

It wasn't a familiar look he remembered. It was a look that a child would give. A look of innocence and pure fear.

"Don't touch me." Erin mumbled before breaking down completely. "Please...just don't…"

Jay's eyes widen as he watched Erin crumble. She curled up as small as she could, her knees bent as she hugged them. She bowed her head towards her lap, muffling her sobs of pain, frustration and desperation.

Jay slowly rose to his feet and walked back to the bedroom, his eyes never leaving Erin as he kept the door open fully to the bathroom. He reached for his phone on the bedside table and quickly thumbed through his contacts list. He heard a string of rings before a tired voice answered, "Voight."

"I need you're help..." Jay didn't bother addressing who it was. "it's Erin."

"I'm on my way." Hank hung up.

Jay sat on the edge of the bed, staring into the bathroom. Erin still sat on the floor, curled into herself. Her back shook as her sobs didn't subside and dug her fingers into the side of her legs, surely leaving marks.

 **So I know this is far from what I normally do. But it was actually quite fun (not the content) for a change. Let me know what you think. I haven't heard from a lot of the readers and just curious as to why. I hope if I switch things up it will change.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Thank you all for the reviews. I'm happy you all are enjoying the turn of this story. I hope you all like this chapter just as much. To clarify, the blade was** **not** **securely in the the razor. I re read the last chapter and realized that there was a error and it appeared to be (in my opinion) could be read as self flatmate. By all means, it wasn't self inflicted, just an accident.**

 **Anyhow, enjoy!**

Hank used his spare key to get into Erin's apartment. On the way there he couldn't shut his brain off. The minute Jay called and said her name, Hank was getting his shoes on and his mind went to all the possibilities of what went wrong. Was the baby okay? Did Erin get hurt?

Hank still felt weird, even with a key, to enter Erin's apartment. It was her home, her private space. He felt as if he was intruding. Funny because he was a cop, he shouldn't have difficulty stepping over boundaries and intruding personal spaces. But with Erin, that was different.

"Hello?" Hank called softly, toeing his boots off.

Jay poked his head out from the bedroom, "Hi. Come in."

Hank nods and walks further into the apartment, "Where is she? What's going on?"

Jay sighed and signaled for Voight to follow, he points Erin who still remained on the bathroom floor. Her sobs had stopped with an occasional hiccup and sniffle. Hank locks eyes with Jay, his jaw clenched tight.

"What happened?"

Jay shrugged and rubbed the back of neck, "I woke to something crashing and then checked it out. I thought she fell-"

"Did she?" Hank spoke softly and glanced back over at Erin.

Jay shook his head, "No but she must've cut herself or something. Her palm is sliced." He sighs slowly and looks down at his bare chest, realising he his half naked in front of his boss. Taking a seat on the bed, he slips into his discarded T-shirt from the night before.

"How deep is the cut?" Hank wondered.

"She won't let me touch her." Jay replied, "I didn't know what to do, so I called you."

Hank nodded and looked at Jay, he gripped his shoulder and gave it a squeeze, "Let me see what I can do."

Jay agreed and watched as Hank stepped into the bathroom slowly, "Erin?" he carefully avoided stepping on the mess, he spotted the razor on floor and expected it, the blade barely snapped in place. "Erin, hey." Hank knelt down, he reached out to place hand on her back.

Erin shifted and tensed up at the touch. "Why are you here?"

Hank dropped his hand to his side, extending his neck out more to see her hand, "We are worried about you. Are you okay?" he commented.

Erin brought her hand up and raised it above her head, "All good. I'm fine. See." she peeled the towel away, "it's not bleeding anymore."

Hank sighed, "I'm talking about the flashbacks. Erin if they are coming back you know you have to talk to some-"

"No!" Anger spewed from Erin. "I was suppose to be done with them! They weren't suppose to come back!" She felt her eyes well up again with tears.

"But they have, Kid." Hank said honestly, scooting closer to her, "please Erin. Let's just go to Med, get everything checked out."

"Remember this isn't just about you anymore." Jay voiced as he watched in the doorway.

Erin knew that. She kept telling herself to think of the baby. Think about what the stress could do to the baby. But the flashbacks made her freeze. They made her forget about the present and future. When the flashbacks happen, it was them and only them.

"Do you want me to call an ambulance?" Hank questioned, his eyes dancing from Erin's tear stained face to her hand.

"No." Erin rasped.

"Then let's stand up and get in the car." Hank grabbed gently at her elbow while Jay walked over to the opposite side, holding Erin's hand.

But Erin slightly pulled towards Hank, her hand loosely holding Jay's. The two men slowly rose to their feet, helping Erin stand on her own. Her legs felt like Jell-O from sitting on the floor with her legs curled under her. They waited for her to walk, supporting her under her arms and Jay had his hand resting on her lower back before moving to her waist, trying to pull her into his side, but she didn't budge.

Jay gave Hank a side glance and nodded towards the door, "Do you want to take your car?"

Hank shifted his gaze up from Erin, "No, I'll follow shortly, you guys go ahead. I'm going to tidy up here."

Jay gave him a sad smile as they made it out of the bathroom, "Thanks."

Erin yawned, her head falling to Hank's shoulder, "I want you to drive me."

Jay's heart sank into his stomach. Why was Erin pushing him away? What did he do? Was is something he said? He racked his brain as panic and worry boiled up.

Hank looked over to him, the worry on his face apparent too but it wasn't the time to fight with Erin. She'd agreed to go to the hospital, that's all that mattered.

"Okay. But let me go get the car and bring into the front, you and Halstead get dressed if you'd like." Hank shifted so how's no longer supporting Erin, making her lean on Jay.

Hank looked back at Jay as she made his way out of the bedroom, he gave him a nod and Jay returned it. "I'll be right back," he informed and left.

Jay led Erin to the bed, while he rummaged through the dresser for a pair of pants and shirt she could change into. He looked back at her. She was staring blankly at the dark bedroom. The small bedside lamp illuminated the room giving off just enough light. The light shadowed her tired face, protruding belly and cascaded down her bare legs.

Jay placed the clothes next to her and knelt down on one knee, reaching up to remove her sleep shorts from her widened hips. Erin flinched and drop her hands to Jay's shoulder, pushing him away from her.

Jay shot his head up,"Erin, hey, I'm trying to help you…" his eyes widened as he saw Erin's face drain of color. Her chest and face shined with sweat as her hands shook when she wiped her eyes. "Erin?"

Erin didn't say anything. The only sound that was heard was a small inhale from her and cough, choking back the never ending sobs.

" _I said stop!" Erin squirmed and kicked her feet forcefully, digging her heels into the firm, tattered mattress of her twin sized bed. Her arms flailing endlessly, making contact at some point._

 _The man with the boots, shifted his weight above her, trying to grab her wrists to still the frantic movements. "Stay still!" his alcohol laced breath filled Erin's nostrils._

" _Get off!" Erin cried out loudly, "Mom! Mom help!"_

"Get off!" Erin spoke harshly. Disgust and pain clear.

Jay swallowed and studied his girlfriend cautiously as he stood up and stepped back. His back flush with the dressed as he didn't speak. He was scared _of_ Erin, but scared _for_ her. He never seen her like this. She wasn't Erin. She wasn't the same strong person she presented herself as. Something broke her and it was Jay's job to figure out what.

Jay heard the front door open and watched as Erin curled into herself, the sound triggered her to cry out uncontrollably.

Hank rushed in at the cries and to Erin's side. He went to console her but Jay quickly spoke, "Don't."

Hank paused as cleared his panic, studying Erin's features. It was all to familiar to him it was like she was fifteen again, in her bedroom. He'd only wish he bad Camille by his side to help her. She knew exactly what to do and say to help Erin through this.

Hank looked over at Jay and stepped away from Erin, he reached into his back pocket, taking out his wallet and handed Jay a business card. "Call him. Tell him it's an emergency and give him your address."

Jay didn't question Voight and took the small white card pinched between his fingers. He walked to the kitchen and held the card under the small light above the sink, he thumbed the number into his cell and pressed it against his ear. He sighed as three...four rings rung. Jay looked back at the bedroom where Hank was talking to Erin at a distance. From what Jay could tell by Hank's posture and hand gestured, he was calming Erin down.

"Dr. Klein." A man's deep voice invaded Jay's ear, causing him to snap his gaze away from the bedroom.

"Hi, I um..this Jay Halstead. I'm calling because Hank Voight gave me your card."

"Yes?" Dr. Klein cleared his throat.

Jay leaned against the counter, he glanced at the business car, before using the back of his hand to rub his forehead. "It's an emergency regarding Erin Lindsay." Jay gave him their address and hung up. He turned and gripped the sink rim, staring at the stainless steel drain. His firmly shut as he breathed in and out slowly. The soft mumbling of Erin and Hank was heard and before he knew it he was in the hospital waiting room. Everything from the time Dr. Klein visited to the whole car ride to Chicago Mad was a complete blur.

 **So what did you think? I plan on having answers in the next chapter.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hello everyone. Thank you for the feedback. I know a few listed concerns about the darkness of this story. Not to worry, things will be looking up very soon. I'll be focusing more on the pregnancy and life events of Erin.**

 **Enjoy.**

"Look up," Dr. Klein instructed as he slowly moved the small flashlight from one eye to the next.

Erin stared up at the ceiling, a heavy sigh escaped her lips as she sat in the hospital bed.

"Any falls or concussions?" Dr. Klein watched as Erin's pupils reacted to the light.

She shook her head, her eyes still fixated on the ceiling.

"How about migraine or sensitivity to light?"

"No." Erin huffed. "What does that have to do with any of this?" A thick sense of annoyance filled her voice.

Dr. Klein raised an eyebrow to her, a flat line smile on his face, "I'm ruling out things that might cause these sudden flashbacks." He placed the little light back in his pocket, "Now, tell me what exactly are the flashbacks about?"

Erin dropped her gaze from the ceiling to stare directly in Dr. Klein's eyes, "What have they been always about?"

Dr. Klein nodded and sighed, "How long have you been experiencing them?"

"About a month." Erin shifted, bringing her bandaged hand to rest in her lap.

"Do you have any idea what triggered them to come back?"

"Yeah…" Erin paused.

.

Jay stared down at his hands then his vision was blocked by a styrofoam cup.

"Here." Hank's gruff voice offered.

Jay took the drink, glad to have something in his hand to hold rather than crushing his own fingers as he waited. "What is happening?"

Hank sighed and took the seat next to Jay, he leaned back into the lightly padded chair. "You heard Dr. Klein, he said it was post traumatic stress disorder."

Jay shook his head, "I _know_ what PTSD is. But why now- from what?"

Hank shrugged, "Hormones can cause an imbalance or something stressful can trigger it."

"The only thing that happened was me moving in." Jay commented, and shook his head, ruling out that reason. "But the flashbacks started before that."

"Anything else happen? You guys fight about the past or something?"

Jay shook his head and looked over at Hank, "Bunny. Bunny showed up. She came by and was talking to Erin when I came over...then I asked about moving in."

Hank clenched his jaw at the sound of _her_. The woman he guarded Erin from. The woman that's job was to protect Erin but would only hurt her with every chance she had. A so-called mother but wasn't near the definition of the word.

"I'll be right back." Hank stated as he stood up.

"Voight, where are you-" Jay stood up with his boss, ready to follow.

Hank turned to face Jay, he reached out to squeeze his shoulder, "Stay. Look out for Erin. Call me if anything changes."

Jay watched as Hank walked with a mission. He took a large gulp of coffee and glanced up at the clock that hung on the wall. It wasn't even 7:30 in the morning and he felt like he done two days of work nonstop. His mind was foggy and his body felt like he'd been through Hell and back. But then, to think about what Erin was going through.

He sighed, walked back to his spot and leaned back in the chair, he slouched and rested his head against the wall. What felt like a few minutes had gone by- really being an hour- he heard footsteps approaching. A clear of a throat caused him to open his eyes.

"Sorry to wake you," Dr. Klein gave the detective a small smile. "Ms. Lindsay would like to see you."

Jay nodded and quickly stood to his feet. Dr. Klein led him to her room. Jay slowly approached her, looking back as Dr. Klein shut the door behind him, leaving them alone.

"Hey." Jay spoke softly, his hands shoved into his pockets. He couldn't take his gaze off of Erin. She had an IV in her arm and hand was bandaged with gauze.

Erin let out a slow breath and gave him a smile. She was about to say something but all that came out was sobs. She wasn't crying in pain, she was crying for comfort. Jay knew that. So he rushed to her side and pulled her into a hug. He placed kisses in her hair and whispered, "It's okay, I'm right here."

"I'm- I'm so sorry." Erin gasped and clung to him, her nail sure to puncture his shirt as she needed contact.

Jay just held her and didn't let go. "You scared me, you know that?" He felt Erin nod into his chest, "I was thinking it was my fault."

"No," Erin whispered.

"We have to talk, Erin." Jay stated, "But not now. When you're ready."

Erin nodded and pulled away gently, her hands moving from Jay's back to rub his arms, "I kept having these flashbacks."

"I know…" Jay scanned her features, a sad smile tugged on the corner of his lips as concern and relief washed over him, "what were they about?"

"This guy in boots…" Erin swallowed and looked over at the wall, collecting her thoughts. "He would sneak into my room when I was little," Jay tensed but never moved from her grasp. Erin squeezed his arm.

Jay knew that wasn't all to her flashback, but he was smart enough to fill in the blanks. "How old were you?"

"Six." Erin wiped her eyes as a few stray tears fell.

"Where was your mom?"

"Downstairs, likely high or drunk. He was some fling my mom would drag along."

Jay leaned and kissed Erin's head, "I promise you that I will always be here to protect you. Nothing will ever happen to you."

Erin nodded and shifted, feeling the baby kicked, "I never doubted you...I was just scared."

"Nothing is going to happen." Jay promised and placed his hand to her stomach, feeling the foot hit against his palm. "How are feeling now?"

Erin shrugged, "Okay. Dr. Klein prescribed me some pills to take...he says it'll help with my hormones."

"Is it safe for the baby?"

Erin nodded, "Yeah. That's the first thing I asked." Jay smiled and leaned in again to hug her tightly.

Erin and Jay embraced, silence taking over the room as Erin pressed her cheek to his chest, her ear listening to his heartbeat, lulling her to sleep.

The sound of the door opening didn't wake her, not even Jay shifting to see who entered. It was Hank.

"How is she?" Hank asked whispering.

"I think things will be good." Jay informed and stared at his boss, "Where'd you go?"

"Just gave Bunny a little talk." Hank moved to sit on c a chair in the corner of the room, he stared at Erin, who still slept soundly, clinging to Jay. "Just in case she is clueless, call me if she tries to reach out to Erin."

Jay nodded and carefully shifted to ease Erin to lie down in the bed, he brought the white sheet over her legs and bump all the way up to tuck her in at the side of her arms.

"Dr. Klein say anything about the baby?"

Jay shrugged, "He just said everything looks fine. There's was no stress caused to him from the flashbacks. Erin got the blunt end of it." Jay moved to brush a stray strand of hair from Erin's face before he brought his hand to hold her good one. His thumb drew lazy patterns to the front of her hand. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to her forehead.

Hank sat back and watched Jay, "Are we going to talk about what you asked me in the waiting room?"

Jay's breath hitched and he stared up at Voight, "Later…" Jay smiled and then looked back at his girlfriend. His thumb brushed across her left hand, swiping over the finger next to pinky, "right now, I just want to be with her."

Hank nodded and stood up, walking over to the male detective, "You do that. Take tomorrow off and come find me when you get back to work." He glanced at Erin and smiled, "I know I'll be leaving her in safe hands."

Jay waited for Hank to leave before he reached into his jean pocket, pulling out a small velvet box. He quickly shoved it back in his pocket when Erin stirred.

"I love you.." she mumbled, her eyes still shut.

Jay chuckled and leaned in to press his lips to hers, "Love you," he said pulling away. He dropped his hand to rest securely over Erin's belly, feeling a strong kick from his son. "Yes and you too."

 **Hopefully this was a little bit less dark. Let me know what you think.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hello! Thanks for the reviews. I must point out that this the longest chapter I've written for this story.**

 **Also, the one guest who asked if the man actually touched Erin. No, it was only attempts.**

 **Now, onto the reading! Enjoy.**

Erin sighed as she tried for the third time to unscrew the cap of her prescription. She tried once more, the white cap not budging at all. Sighing loudly, she shuffled to the bedroom in her oversized T-shirt, clinging loosely to her petite frame. She paused in the doorway, her task ceased when she caught sight of Jay's toned back as he lifted the mattress up slightly to fold and tuck in the corners of the sheet. Her cheeks became hot as he leaned over, his white cotton T-shirt riding up, exposing more of his muscles she so desperately loved as he pulled the light grey sheet tightly tucking in the sides.

Tempted to tease him with her cold fingertips as he placed the pillows neatly at the head of bed, Erin shifted from foot to foot, her weight causing a small creak to be heard from the loose floorboard, making her presence known.

Jay looked up from fluffing her body pillow "Hey." he raised an eyebrow to her and smirked, "Enjoying the view?"

Erin walked over, eyeing him from head to toe. "I was just admiring your strong, muscular body." She bite her bottom lip gently, her hand reaching up to squeeze at Jay's bicep.

Jay glanced at her hand then to her face, "Can I help with you anything?" he dropped his head down, his lips inches from her.

"Actually you can…" Erin whispered. The scent of her cinnamon toothpaste filling Jay's nostrils, "I need your strong muscles." she dangled the stubborn prescription bottle in between her fingers.

Jay gave her a quick kiss before he grabbed the bottle and popped the white lid off. "How are you feeling?" he asked, studying her features as he handed the pills back to her.

"No flashbacks...so that's good," Erin tapped two pills into her palm as she made her way to the bed. She popped the pills into her mouth and washed them down with the glass of water she kept on her side of the bed. "But these pills make me feel..just blah." The sheets of the bed, now wrinkled as Erin laid down on her side, her hand falling to her stomach.

It had been two weeks since Erin had a flashback, the pills clearly working but the side effects of fatigue and mood changes were the downfall.

Most days Erin wanted to stay home after work, which was fine because Jay too was exhausted. But it was the summer time, the weathers nice and Jay couldn't stand being cooped up in the apartment. It was hot with the central air keep going out and all the shows on TV were reruns. Plus, it was the holiday weekend. Jay wanted to join the unit at the annual fourth of July picnic.

Jay walked over to sit next to Erin, he brought his hand up to rub up and down her arm before cupping her cheek softly, his thumb swiping over her cheekbone.

Erin sighed at his embrace, closing her eyes as she inhaled deeply taking in the scent of his aftershave mixed with the fresh linen detergent they used on the sheets.

"What do you say we get you out of this funk? We could go to the movies-"

"I have to pee every five minutes. Plus nothing is interesting." Erin frowned into her pillow.

"We could go downtown and get some of that Indian food you love." Jay suggested, getting up to grab a pair of fresh socks from the dresser.

Erin sighed and shook her head, "The food gives me really bad heartburn."

"Okay…" Jay took a seat back on the edge of the bed, slipping one foot into a sock. "What about the picnic?"

Erin moved a strand of hair that had fallen in front of her eyes, "I don't know."

Jay leaned down to press his lips in her hair, "Erin," he mumbled, peppering a set of kisses there before standing back up, extending his hands out. "Come on, get up." he tried to pull her up the arm gently.

Erin groaned, shooting a stern gaze at him, "Jay, I just want to stay in. It's too hot outside and I'm already overheated as it is."

Jay sighed, releasing her arm. "Fine, stay in."

Erin watched as Jay discarded his white tshirt, swapping it for his CPD navy blue one. The color really made his eyes pop. Jay walked over to the closet, retrieving his gym bag, tossing in a pair of swim trunks, an extra shirt and shorts.

"What are you doing?" Erin questioned, sitting up on her one elbow.

"I'm going to the picnic." Jay said zipping up the bag. "I'll be home around four."

Erin scooted up and off the bed, marching over to Jay. She rested her hands on her hips, "You're seriously going to leave your pregnant girlfriend home to fend for herself?"

Jay glanced over, his mouth slightly open as he tried to think of what to say. "I..uh..well you said you wanted to stay in."

"With you!" Erin spat as she fanned Jay away, "Forget it, go."

Before Jay could say anything Erin was already shutting the bathroom door. He heard the door lock and the shower turned on.

"Great." he muttered, unloading the gym bag and putting it away in the closet.

.

Erin came out of the shower twenty minutes later, her hair twisted into a clip and her body wrapped in a towel. She slipped into a pair of underwear before dropping the towel, leaving her bare chested as she searched for a bra. Standing in front of the full length mirror that hung in the corner of the room, she inspected her 23 week stomach. Running her hands over the smooth skin, feeling her baby boy meet her hand with his foot. She laughed as he continued to move around when she applied the cocoa butter all over her belly and chest.

Jay quietly walked up behind, wrapping his arms around her. A small gasp escaped her lips but quickly faded, taking sight of her boyfriend's reflection. "I thought you'd left."

Jay shook his head, pressing feather like kisses to Erin's bare shoulder as his hands drew circles over her belly, helping her massage the lotion into her still damp skin. "You said you wanted to stay in with me." His hands traveled up to her breasts, cupping them each.

Erin squinted her eyes shut, a small whimper left her lips as she reached for his hands.

Jay quickly pulled away, his eyes filled with worry as he stared at Erin's pain stricken face. "What's wrong?"

"Just really sore." Erin reached for Jay's wrists, bringing his hands back up to her stomach.

Jay moved his hands to her hips, swaying softly, "Sorry, I forgot." Jay silently cursed himself for not remembering. Even though it had been a good two or more weeks since him and Erin had been intimate.

"It's okay." Erin moved along with him swaying, the warmth and slight pressure of his hands calming their son from doing somersaults.

About five minutes past before either of them spoke. They just stood there, enjoying each other's touches. Jay would place a kiss occasionally to Erin's neck and she'd leaned back against him, sighing contently.

"If you still want to go to the picnic, I'll join you." Erin caught Jay grin in the mirror.

"Yeah?"

Erin nodded and turned to face him, her bare chest pressed against the coolness of the lettering in his shirt. "I just don't know how long I'll want to stay, okay?"

Jay responded with a slow kiss to her lips. His hands moved up to her back and up to release her hair from the clip. Her silky, wet strands dripping down her back as Jay's fingers threaded through her hair.

Erin deepened the kiss, her tongue swiping over Jay's bottom lip seeking entrance. Jay quickly obliged and their tongues danced.

Jay walked towards the bed, guiding Erin to sit as the back her knees buckled from making contact with the mattress.

They never parted until Erin fumbled to undo Jay's belt.

"Er?" Jay whispered, his chest rising and falling as he tried to catch his breath. His lips still nipping at Erin's.

"Yeah?" Erin hummed, her eyes fluttered up from his belt to see his face.

"You sure about this?" Jay ached as the words fell out.

Erin nodded confidently as she finally unbuckled Jay's belt and pulled it through the loops of his jeans. She tossed it to the floor as she worked on the button and fly.

Jay cradled the back of her head and captured her lips again as he gently started to ease Erin to lay down.

His lips moved from hers, traveled down her neck with little bites and sucks,receiving a moan of pleasure to escape Erin followed chants, "Jay.."

.

"Oh god," Jay collapsed face down next to Erin, his breathing still erratic and muffled by his pillow.

Erin chuckled, wetting her lips with the tip of her tongue. "Mhmm." She blindly patted Jay's back.

Jay lifted his head up to find Erin's eyes closed, her mouth parted slightly open as she too caught her breath. A light sheen of sweat covered both of them, causing the sheets to stick to their bodies.

Jay rolled over and placed a kiss to Erin's cheek while staring at her quietly.

"What?" Erin could sense the gaze without even opening her eyes. She did peek, to confirm.

"Just checking on you."

Erin brought her hand up to wipe her forehead with the back of her hand before cupping Jay's jaw, she kissed him sweetly, "I'm fine..more than fine."

Jay nodded slowly, "You'd tell me if you weren't, right?" His lips fell to her shoulder, scooting closer to Erin, who entangled their legs together.

"I promise." Erin smiled, "I'll be honest with you."

Jay once again nodded, "That's all I ask." He placed another kiss to Erin's should before he got up and slipped into his boxers.

"What are you doing?" Erin sat up, peeling the sheets from her body.

"I thought we could at least show up for an hour at the picnic. Grab a hotdog, mingle and then leave." Jay commented, sitting back down on the bed. He bent down to grab his shirt.

Erin sighed, "I see how it is. You just have sex with me to get me to go with you."

Jay stopped from putting his shirt back on, "Erin that's not-"

Erin laughed and reached to touch Jay's bare back, "Relax, I'm only teasing." Jay exhaled a quiet chuckle, " What? You're the only one who can tease?"

Jay turned slighty and raised an eyebrow, grinning, "No I'm not..I just so happen to be better at it."

Erin pretended to pout and grabbed Jay's pillow, hitting him it. "Halstead, be nice!"

"Says the woman who is assaulting me with a pillow!" Jay ducked and took cover in the bathroom.

Erin laughed and got up, bending down to retrieve her underwear and a pair of shorts. She opted out of the bra she first intended on wearing to go for a sports bra. The clasps on her normal bras were too uncomfortable.

She walked to the dresser, rummaging through the second drawer to find her CPD tank top. After taking out a few crumpled shirts that were shoved in the back, she finally found it. She held it up to her body, sighing at the fact it wouldn't fit over her belly. Knowing Jay had one, she dug through the drawer again. Her hand this time brushing against an object. A small box.

Erin pulled her hand out, securely taking the box in her palm. She swallowed when she realized it was a jewelry box. Not any jewelry box but a ring one. As she went to open it, but she stopped when she heard the door knob jiggle to the bathroom.

Jay joked through the door, "You better not be waiting to attack."

Erin quickly shoved the box back in its hiding place before shutting the drawer. "No, you're safe. You can come out."

Just as Jay opened the door, Erin had his shirt on. It was just big enough to fit over her belly and loose enough that she wasn't going to get overheated.

"Hey, where did you find that?" Jay smiled at the sight of her in his top.

Erin pointed to the dresser, trying to remain calm as she was freaking out on the inside. "You ready to go?"

Jay nodded and smiled, "Yeah. Let's have some fun."

.

Erin used one of those battery powered personal fans to cool herself from the hot sun beating down on her. Even though she was seated under the pavilion, the July's humid heat overpowered even in the shade.

Using her free hand she picked at the end of her hotdog bun, drenching a small piece in her baked beans, sopping up the brown sugar and mustard sauce then popping the bun into her mouth.

Jay walked over, straddling the picnic table bench, "You alright?" he took a seat, using his fingers to steal the celery from Erin's potato salad she picked out. Celery a vegetable she found repulsive while pregnant.

"Yeah I'm okay." Erin used her fork to move more of the celery chunks out of the salad. "You done mingling?" she asked, taking a huge sip of her iced water.

Jay chuckled, "You can't be that bored, we've only been here for a half hour."

Erin glanced over, clearly annoyed. "It's not fun sitting here."

"Then join us," Jay pointed out to Adam and Kim who sat out on lawn chairs, waiting to start a new game of horseshoe.

Antonio walked up from the grill, handing Erin another hotdog, "You said no to relish, right?"

Erin smiled and nodded. "Thanks Dawson."

"Sure thing, Lindsay." Dawson took a seat across from the couple, "So you guys start setting up the nursery?"

Jay shook his head, "We've made lists..but nothing official."

"Better start now," Dawson said from experience, "When Laura was pregnant with Diego we waited until she was eight months pregnant..bad idea because he came a week later."

Erin glanced over at Antonio then back at Jay, "Maybe we should start registering for stuff."

Jay nodded, leaning over to kiss her temple before picking up her hotdog taking a bite, "We can go shopping today if you want?"

"I thought you wanted to mingle more?" Erin furrowed her brows. Stealing her hotdog back, taking a bite.

Jay shrugged, pretending to reach for Erin's food again but he stopped when she glared at him. Clearly not in the mood to be teased when it came to her food. He brought his hands up to surrender. "You're not having fun, maybe some baby shopping will help."

Dawson smiled to Erin, reaching over in the cooler to refresh her water, leaving the water bottle in reach, "You guys have fun." He saw Ruzek waving him over from across the park. They were one man short since Jay left. "See you on Monday."

"Bye Dawson." Jay called. He looked over at his girlfriend as she ate her food, her one hand rubbing circles over her belly. "He still somersaulting?"

Erin smirked, looking down at her stomach. She flicked a piece of potato off her shirt, "Not since I've started eating."

Jay chuckled, "Good thing he's like you with food. The minute you're fed you're you calm down."

Erin turned her head, offering Jay her last bit of hotdog but as he went to take the bite, she took it herself, smiling in triumph as she chewed.

Jay laughed, taking his thumb to wipe a dribble of mustard from the corner of Erin's mouth. He cleaned his thumb on a napkin. "So, what do you say?"

Erin nodded, "Okay. But first.." She swung her legs around the outside of the bench, using Jay's strong shoulders as support to

stand up. "I'm going to use the ladies room."

Jay gave her a quick nod and kissed her hand before letting her go. He started to clean up the plates and napkins while she was gone.

"Hey Jay, where's Lindsay?" Voight walked up, looking around for Erin.

"Bathroom " Jay looked up at his Sergeant, "Why?"

"Just checking on her," Hank glanced to see if anyone was in earshot, "You ask her-"

Jay quickly shook his head, "I'm trying to find the right time."

Hank grunted in acknowledegment, "Alright." he spotted Erin exit the bathroom, she gave him a wave and smile when she approached, "Hey Kid."

"Hey Hank," Erin smiled. Jay rested his hand on the small her back.

"You guys heading out already?" Hank wondered.

Jay nodded, "Yeah, she's going to see how much damage she can do with my credit card"

Erin rolled her eyes and jabbed Jay in the ribs with her elbow. "We'll see you Monday Hank. Happy 4th."

Hank nodded, "See you guys later." he watched as the couple made their way to the car.

Jay opened to door for Erin and shut it once she was situated. He gave Voight a wave and walked around to the drivers side.

 **So what do you think? I know I ended this odd, but I'll pick up with them shopping.**

 **Quick question: I was asked if I would do an M rated chapter. I've never written smut before. I don't know how it'll turn out. But if that's something you guys would like..let me know. Suggestions are welcomed.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey guys. I was surprised to only hear back from a small handful of you guys. I normally have regular reviewers, but last chapter was scarce.**

 **Also, I want to let everyone know that I try my hardest to get a chapter out at least weekly. Normally there is a 7-9 day gap between updates, but nothing more, unless I've informed in the authors note of the previous chapter.**

 **I'm fairly new to this whole pregnancy genre, so I have to do research and timelines. It's not just me writing and thinking of scenarios. I want to get as real as possible...plus to go along with the CPD characters. With that being said, please be aware of it. Anyhow, thanks for all who read and review.**

 **(So there isnt any confusion, this chapter is a continuation of the last chapter with also a time jump.)**

 **Now, you may enjoy.**

Erin had her eyes closed, her fingers running over the smooth fabric of the glider she was sitting in. She pushed off with the tips of her toes, to slightly rock it. Erin opened one eye to her boyfriend who just watched her with a grin on his face.

"You seem to be enjoying yourself." Jay teased as he took a sip of his water before screwing the cap back on.

Erin nodded, squeezing the arms of the chair, "It's comfy and roomy. You'd might even be able to sit with me."

Jay smiled, taking a few steps toward Erin, he leaned down to place a soft kiss to her forehead, "Then let's get it."

Erin smiled up at him before scooting to the edge of the chair and stood up. "I want to find one of those wraps you can use to carry the baby."

Jay grabbed her hand, entwining their fingers together, "Who knew shopping for baby stuff would be fun." he pressed his lips to the side of her head.

Erin shook her head and laughed, "Let's see how much fun it'll be when we have to put the things together." They walked across the small store, over to a rack of colorful wraps and nursing covers. Erin loosely wrapped the Moby Wrap around her shoulders and held the back straps. She pursed her lips, thinking to herself.

"Hey," Jay squeezed Erin's shoulder gently.

"Hm?" Erin paused and looked up at her boyfriend, letting the wrap fall from her shoulders.

"I love you," Jay said quietly with a smile on his face.

Erin smiled back, she raised an eyebrow, "I love you too…"

Jay could see her question the randomness of his love, "I know we've been going through a lot these last few weeks. I just wanted to say it."

Erin rolled her eyes, feeling the tears burn in the back of them, "You can't do that, Jay."

"Do what?" Jay noticed a tear fall, he was quick to wrap his arm around her shoulder, pulling into a tight hug as his other hand rested on top of her belly.

"You can't say those things…" Erin smiled up at him, "you know my hormones are crazy."

Jay chuckled, kissing her hair, "Sorry babe. I hate you then."

Erin laughed and punched him softly square in the chest. "I hate you too."

.

Erin turned in her sleep, kicking the pillow she had in between her legs off the bed. Her nails dug into her body pillow as she turned, taking the large pillow with her. Erin heard a groan and grumble, followed a shift in the bed.

Erin lifted her head up slightly, her hair a tousled mess. A small tired smile fell on her face when she saw Jay squinting at her. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes then brought his hand down to his mouth as he yawned.

"I am going to throw this in the dumpster." Jay grumbled, fisting the corner of Erin's body pillow.

Erin rolled her eyes and dropped her head back onto the pillow. The soft satin pillowcase brought coolness to her cheeks as pressed her face further into it. She kicked her feet, unwrapping them from the sheets, letting it pool to the floor.

Jay sighed loudly when he saw it was only three in the morning. He was once again awaken by Erin's tossing and smacking him with her large, bed hogging pillow. When it wasn't her pillow it was her. She would flip from side to side, kneeing him in her sleep or pressing her palm into his chest as she used him as leverage to get up to make the many trips to the bathroom.

"Sorry.." she rasped, falling back to sleep.

Jay glared at her in the darkness of the room. The interrupted sleep and long hours of chasing criminals definitely took a toll on him. The past two week have been hectic since they returned back to work from the picnic. There was barely any time to finish paperwork from one case before the unit picked up another.

Jay shifted slightly, scooting towards the middle of the mattress, hoping to get at least two more hours of sleep. He pushed the pillow Erin clung to, making room for his own before it fell to floor like the rest of the bedding.

Erin moaned at the jerking motion, "Jay. Stop. Sleep."

"Trying to. Can't with this damn thing…" He kicked the bottom of it in emphasis.

Erin hugged the pillow tighter, wrapping her legs around it too, her eyes still shut, "Sleep on the floor then."

Jay chuckled, annoyed, "Funny." Erin huffed and sat up slowly catching Jay's attention, "Now what?"

"I'm too hot." Erin pulled her camisole from her belly, loosening the fabric from her sweat dampened skin. "Will you turn the fan on?"

Jay sighed and rolled off the bed, walking over to the fan in the corner of the room and turning the dial to high. He walked back over to the bed, bunching his pillow under his arm and picked up the sheet off the floor, slinging it over his shoulder.

"What are you doing?" Erin wondered,fanning herself with her hands.

"Sleeping on the couch." Jay said as he shuffled in his boxers to the living room. He flopped on the couch, bending his knees so he could fit comfortably.

Jay could see a small ray of light peak through the crack of the bedroom door. He heard Erin mumble something about the baby better quit kicking her bladder, before he heard the bathroom door squeak shut. Jay waited to hear the toilet flush and sink run but he was caught off guard when he heard the shower turn on. Erin was probably needing to cool down, the cold shower helped her rest soundly on these hot summer nights. _Great._

.

Erin tiptoed to the kitchen after her shower, wearing only her underwear and robe tied loosely, allowing her belly to pop through. She glanced over to the couch, seeing Jay had fallen asleep watching National Geographic.

After pouring herself a glass of cucumber water- her newest craving. She had it once at the spa during her prenatal massage session and fell in love with it. So Jay stocked up on cucumbers that day and had been slicing them ever since.

She sipped at the water slowly, looking into the half stocked fridge. Her stomach growled followed by a soft kick, she couldn't help but laugh, "Give me a sec, Mister." Eyeing a box of leftover pizza, she took a slice and chewed on it, kicking the door of the fridge shut.

Jay stirred on the couch but didn't wake up as Erin watched him while she finished her cold pizza and water. Erin carefully swiped the remote from Jay's grasp, turning off the TV, leaving the living room in darkness. Erin used the city lights that appeared through slightly open curtains of the apartment to make her way back to the bedroom.

She adjusted her robe and crawled into bed, facing the fan. Erin leaned over to pull the chain of the bedside lamp on and grabbed _What To Expect When You're Expecting,_ flipping through the book to find the page she left off on. She shuffled through the drawer to find a highlighter and pen, ready to jott down notes.

Erin was startled by the sound of Jay's cellphone ringing. She tried to grab it before Jay would hear it, assuming it was work but Jay was quick to his feet and grabbed it by the time Erin got out of bed.

"Halstead." Jay answered, his voice hoarse with sleep.

Erin sat on the edge bed, watching as Jay " _mhm..yeah.."_ the person on the other furrowed her brow when Jay stopped from heading towards the bathroom. His eyes widen, like a deer caught in the headlights. He swallowed loudly and let out a shaky breath.

"Friday? Yes I will, Sir." Jay responded before ending the call.

Erin stood up and placed her hand to the middle of Jay's back, noting the sudden flinch.

"Jay, what's going on?" Panic clear in her voice.

"One of the guys, Trevor..from the army...he died." Jay informed.

Erin sighed, pressing her lips to Jay's shoulder, "You okay?"

Jay stood up straighter, nodding, "Yeah, I'm fine."

Erin could tell he wasn't, "Jay-"

"Erin, I'm fine." Jay tossed the cellphone on the bed.

"So what's going on Friday? The funeral?" Erin spoke softly, trying to get something from her boyfriend.

"Just drop it!" Jay growled and walked to the bathroom, forcefully shutting the door.

 **So what do you guys think? Let me know please, love hearing from everyone.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Thank you for the feedback. It sure did boost my confidence and motivated me. Finished this chapter over the last two days which is why I decided to post this now. Funny thing is, I started from the ending and worked my way up. I think it turned out well. Let me know what you think.**

 **Also, I can't believe I'be written chapters! Seems like yesterday I had this little idea.**

 **Enjoy.**

Jay exited the bathroom, letting out a sigh as he saw Erin sitting up in bed. Clearly she had been crying, even though she did her best to hide her face in her pregnancy book.

Jay approached the side of the bed, his hand falling to her bare leg. He gave in a gently squeeze, "Erin-"

"Don't." Erin muttered, curling her leg away from him.

Jay shook his head, bringing his hand to the back of his neck, rubbing it softly. "I'm sorry I yelled."

"I understand that you are grieving and tired..." Erin stated, "But I'm not a punching bag, Jay."

"I didn't mean to-"

Erin interrupted, "You may not mean to do anything, Jay. But you... _you_ are the one always telling me to be more open. I ask for a little in return-" she shook her head, sighing as she felt her emotions get the best of her. Tears rimmed her eyes as she batted her eyelashes, letting them fall in streaks down her face. "I get yelled at or ignored."

Jay sat down on the edge of the bed, he stared at his feet, "The time in the army- what I saw…that's something I don't like to talk about- I don't _want_ to relive it."

"I get that. But I'm begging you to be open with me. Let me in. Don't go and bottle things up and then use me when you can't handle it anymore." Erin wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, "I don't deserve that."

Jay nodded, finally looking up at her, his eyes drifted from her face to her growing belly, "I know you don't and I am sorry." he leaned in press his lips to her forehead, "I'll try...just promise me I won't get lost."

She knew exactly what Jay meant. After Nadia died, Erin dug herself a hole, avoided everything good and let the bad consume her. She wasn't sure what Jay was capable of, but from what little snippets Will and Mouse have said, she knew it could be bad. Even worse than her own darkness.

Erin brought her hand to Jay's cheek, her thumb brushing the light scruff as she stared into his eye, "I'll be here to find you."

Jay swallowed, shutting his eyes at Erin's gentle touch. "Trevor...he was with Mouse and I when the Humvee...when we were attacked." Jay spoke softly. "Trevor was launched," he sighed, shutting his eyes firmly as the memories felt too real. "He was airlifted to a hospital, Doctors said he was lucky to be alive." A soft chuckle escaped from Jay's lips, "Came out with a few broken ribs and a gash the size of football that took up half his leg."

Erin leaned over, resting her chin on Jay's shoulder, listening intently.

"When we returned home, Trevor struggled _a lot._ Not just physically but mentally. He wasn't there to see his daughters born so when he came back and they were almost three...he was beside himself. He didn't know how to be a civilian let alone a father." Jay felt the need to caress Erin's stomach, his hand slipping through her robe to feel her bare, smooth, warm skin. "So he self medicated with booze, then that turned into pills. I guess he wasn't able to turn himself around. Lord knows he tried." Jay balled his hand into a fist, anger seeping through his gritted teeth. Anger mixed with guilt, "I should have been there for him."

"Hey, don't blame yourself." Erin placed her hand over his, squeezing it gently. "No one is to blame, Jay."

.

 _Two Days Later_

Erin finished the last bit of her simple makeup and ran her fingers through her soft curls. Glancing once more at her reflection, she smoothed her black dress over her stomach and smiled feeling their son flutter. "Ready?" She asked, seeing Jay appear in the doorway.

Jay nodded slowly, not saying anything.

Erin walked over to him, her palm pressed to his chest, adjusting his medals, admiring them as she brushed them lightly with her finger. She looked up to see Jay staring at her, his eyes were tired and sad.

"I'm here." Erin assured, dropping her hand from his chest to grasp his hands tightly. "I'm right here."

The two of them made it to the church. Jay was greeted by his fellow Rangers. He shook hands with their Lieutenant, and gave his deepest condolences to Trevor's wife, Jeanette.

Erin stood by Jay's side, offering support whenever needed. A simple squeeze at his bicep as he stepped further into church. A quick peck after seeing the portrait of Trevor in his fatigues. She drew circles on his back as Trevor's two daughters took their seats in the front pew.

The funeral ceremony was as expected. People cried as the heroics and passion of Trevor were shared. The muffled sobs echoed through the high peaked ceiling. There was candles lit around the church, a soft scent of roses filled the air and surrounded the casket.

Erin watched as Jeanette was handed the neatly folded American flag, her hand pressed to the engraved and gold trimmed chestnut casket.

Jay remained still, his eye fixated straight ahead. He stood when directed, knelt for prayer when said. Erin glanced over throughout the ceremony, making sure Jay knew she right beside him. That he wasn't alone.

.

Jay gripped the rim of the sink, the drain plugged as the porcelain bowl filled with cold water. The running water calmed him as his mind flooded with memories.

Erin knocked softly as she pushed the bathroom door open. Carefully and quietly she turned the silver knob off on the sink, just as the cold water brushed Jay's fingers. His knuckles were as white as the sink, Erin was half surprised that he hadn't ripped the sink right off it's pedestal.

"Jay.." She spoke just above a whisper, studying her boyfriend's face.

The touch of her hand on top of his triggered him out of his own mindset. Erin gave him a small smile, seeing his blue eyes swell up with tears. She too felt her eyes begin to water.

"Come to bed," Erin moved her hand up his arm to give his shoulder a squeeze.

Jay broke down. His body practically gave out. The always strong man felt weak. His knee trembled, his muscular chest heaved as he sobbed.

Erin stepped forward, wrapping her arms around him as she supported him. She waited for him to relax a tad before they walked slowly to the bed. Erin got in first and Jay followed curling into her side. His head pressed to her breast as she ran her fingers through his hair. While his hand fell to her stomach.

"Thank you." Jay mumbled as he caught his breath. He drew circles over her cotton shirt, their son ceased his movements with an exception of a few jolts from his hands or feet.

Erin placed a kiss on top of his head, "It's what I'm here for." She glanced across the room, seeing Jay's dress uniform hung on the door, the lights of the street reflected off the medals that were pinned.

Erin was relieved they made it through the day. As emotional as it had been, she was glad to there for her partner, her best friend, her lover. It was days like these that brought Erin to smile. Not out of happiness, just out of her own recollection. To realize that she had someone to lean on and to know she was that same person to someone else.

Erin looked down at Jay, his breathing was even and slight snore escaped his lips. "I love you." She spoke into the darkness.

 **So guys, what do you think? Would you like to hear Jay open up more to Erin? Maybe Erin open up too? Let me know!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Thank you all for the reviews. I'm very happy to hear from everyone. I'm also happy and very pleased with this chapter. I've done a bit of a tine jump in the middle to speed up the pregnancy. So keep that in mind when reading. Also, this was fun and I had a blast writing and researching this chapter.**

 **Lastly, my apologies for any errors, I've stayed up until almost 2am most nights writing bits and pieces to this. And now, it's five minutes past one as I'm posting this.**

 **Enjoy.**

"Jeez," Erin muttered and winced, her hand quickly falling from her keyboard to her stomach.

Jay glanced up from his desk, "You good?"

Erin nodded slowly, pressing her fingers deep into her belly.

"He kicking again?" Jay asked as he pushed back in his chair, grabbing his coffee mug off his desk before walking over to take Erin's mug.

Erin gave him a small smile, "He keeps getting foot lodged in my ribs."

Jay scrunched his nose and frowned, "Maybe try walking around...that seemed to help at home."

Erin nodded and stood up slowly, "You grabbing another cup?" She pointed to Jay's mug, his fourth cup that day.

"Yeah, I'm going to need it if we plan on catching this jackass."

Erin sighed loudly and started to head towards the break room, "You get any leads from your CI?"

"Still waiting to hear back." Jay poured himself some coffee, adding a heaping tablespoon of sugar.

Erin leaned against the counter, the edge of it hitting her lower back in the perfect spot, relieving the slight ache.

"How about you? You get anything from Miller's bank records?" Jay went over to the fridge, pouring Erin some iced tea.

"Nothing." Erin groaned, "It's like this guy isn't even a criminal."

"Considering the fact we found bricks of cocaine in his house, I'd beg to differ." Jay took a sip of his coffee and glanced at his watch, "You eat anything yet?"

Erin nodded, "I had a granola bar about an hour ago."

"That's not food, Erin." Jay responded with a stern gaze.

Erin looked over at her boyfriend, "I'm not hungry honestly."

"Erin you are always hungry." Jay smirked and stepped away knowing he was going to be swatted.

"I'll wait until you guys grab lunch. I can wait another hour-" Erin almost dropped her cup on the floor as she felt the baby shift and start to pedal against her bladder.

"Go." Jay quickly took the cup from her as she headed towards the locker room. He walked back to the bullpen, setting his mug on his desk and putting Erin's back on her own.

Dawson trotted up the stairs, waving a paper in his hand, "Got a lead! Miller was spotted heading downtown. Caught a screenshot from a traffic camera."

Voight walked out of his office, adjusting his holster, "Suit up. We better catch this guy today."

Everyone stood to their feet and head downstairs to get their vests on. Jay stayed back and waited for Erin get out of the bathroom.

She waddled out, stunned to see everyone but Jay and Mouse gone. "You guys get a lead?"

Jay nodded, "Caught him on a traffic camera." he swiped his phone off his desk, shoving it on his pocket. "You'll be fine here?"

Erin waved him off, "Go. Save the day." Jay smiled and walked over to give her a quick peck, but she pushed him away. "Halstead, go." Jay patted her stomach softly before heading down the stairs, "Bring me back a slice of pizza!" She shouted just as Jay opened the gate to exit.

Mouse chuckled softly from his desk.

Erin squinted at him, "What's so funny?"

Mouse stood up and showed her his phone, a menu from the local pizzeria was pulled up in his browser. "What toppings you want?"

"Pineapple and sausage." Erin smiled at Mouse.

"Pineapple? Betcha Jay loves that." Mouse says sarcastically, knowing Jay was never a pineapple fan.

Erin laughed going back over to her desk, "He normally picks them off and give them to me."

"Well, sorry to break it to you but I won't be sharing. I love pineapple too." Mouse dials the number and presses his phone to his ear.

Erin taps away on her computer, looking over another sheet of bank records. "Mouse, get Voight on the phone, Miller just made a purchase at a hardware store on Michigan Ave."

Mouse quickly hung up his call and radioed Voight and texted everyone the address.

"I gotta grab a form to access the hardware store's surveillance," Mouse announced, "You going to be alright Lindsay?"

Erin smiled at her friend, "I'm fine Mouse."

Mouse nodded and glanced over at her stomach. Her hand rested on her 26 week belly as fingers applied pressure over her burgundy T-shirt. "You look nice today, Erin."

"Thanks Mouse," Erin blushed, "Now go get those forms so we can back to ordering pizza."

"Yes Ma'am," Mouse teased before going downstairs.

.

It had taken longer than expected to catch Miller. Almost five hours longer. So by the end of shift, Jay was exhausted. He grabbed his jacket from his locker and heading outside to meet up with Ruzek who was giving him a ride home since Lindsay had to take the car to her doctor's appointment.

Jay toed off his shoes at the front door, tossing his keys in the glass bowl where Erin's keys were. "Erin? I'm home." He walked further into the apartment, undoing his gun from its holster and walked into the bedroom, to the closet to put it away in the safe.

"Erin?" Jay popped his head into the bathroom, to see her soaking in the tub. Her hair was gathered in a bun on top of head and a soaked washcloth sprawled out across her chest. She had her eyes closed and small short breaths slipped through her lips.

Jay knelt down on the memory foam bath mat as he dipped his hand in the warm water, moving the suds around causing the lavender scented bubbles to linger in the air.

Erin opened her eyes slowly, "Hey."

"How'd the doctors go?" Jay reached over to rub her belly, moving the bubbles over it. He tapped gently on her protruding belly button. He chuckled when his son responded to his touch.

Erin moved her hand up to grab Jay's wrist, "He just settled down. Don't poke him."

Jay smirked and pressed his lips to her forehead, "Sorry."

Erin let out a slow, content sigh, "Dr. Milford said he's growing nice and strong. Got some ultrasound printed too."

Jay smiled, "She say anything about the kicking?"

"She said for me to fight back." Erin laughed, "I can nudge him back to make him turn. Also exercise can help."

Jay moved the washcloth from her breast, ringing it out before soaking it under the running hot water he turned on. He brought the cloth back over her chest, neck and shoulders.

"That feels good." Erin hummed, letting her eyes close.

Jay continued to run the warm washcloth along her body, he watched as Erin relaxed further into herself. A small moan slipped from her lips as her tongue grazed her bottom lip.

Jay raised his brow, the corner of his mouth turned upwards in a smirk. "You know, I know the perfect exercise we can both enjoy."

Erin opened one eye, squinting at Jay, "Not going to happen." she let her eyes shut again.

Jay frowned, "Why not?" he never stilled the washcloth, washing over Erin's feet and legs, up her thighs.

Erin breath hitched as she squirmed under water, "Halstead."

"Lindsay." he retorted with a smirk.

Erin moaned again as she felt her face became flush and heart rate pick up. She composed herself, sitting up out of Jay's teasing reach.

"C'mon," Jay near begged. "I miss you."

Erin opened her eyes just in time to roll them, "You can't miss me that much."

"But I do. Especially since I come home to you like this." Jay let his eyes dance over her naked form.

Erin flicked water at him, splashing him in the face. He scowled and wiped his face off with his shirt, exposing his abs. Erin let a short laugh only to prompt Jay to remove his shirt.

"What are you doing?" Erin paused and watched.

"If you want to play like that...then it's war." Jay stated, unzipping his jeans and removing them along with his boxers. He stepped one foot in the tub.

"You're not serious? Jay you can't fit..." Erin bent her knees quickly as close to her chest that her belly would allow as Jay brought his other foot in. He kneeled down and leaned over, gripped the rim of the tub so he was hovering Erin.

Jay grinned, capturing her lips in a hard, passionate kiss. "God, I missed you." He groaned, leaning in to kiss her again.

A nudge of the baby's foot radiated from Erin's belly to make contact with Jay's abs. Jay chuckled, pulling away slowly to stare down at her belly, "Is this how it's going to be when he's born?"

"You mean him interrupting sex?" Erin teased. "Yes."

" _Great_. I guess we better make the best of our time before he's here."

Erin nodded and snaked her arms around his neck, pulling back to continue their kisses.

.

 _Two weeks later_

Erin leaned against the soft grey wall of the nursery, her fingers laced together as she used her bump as a perch. "How's it going?"

Jay glanced up from the numerous pages of instructions he had laid out on the yellow shag rug. "I think we'll have a crib up before dinner."

Erin smiled widely and looked around the almost finished nursery. The walls were painted the week before and they already had the changing table and glider delivered to the apartment. All that was left to assemble the crib. Which fell in the hands of Jay. Erin tried to help but there wasn't much she could lift. So she stuck with organizing.

The weekend was spent washing and folding baby clothes they had accumulated. Mostly as gifts from the unit and others they'd picked up on their many shopping sprees.

Slowly but surely everything was falling into place. Their apartment finally looked like it was ready to welcome a baby.

"You think you'll be done by six?" Erin shifted, bumping a framed sonogram photo of the gender reveal. She quickly caught it before it had a chance to fall onto the wooden floor.

"Yeah, why? You got dinner planned?" Jay teased as he used the drill to secure one end of the crib to the other. He gave it a shake, checking the fit and sturdiness.

Erin stared at him flatly, "I have Lamaze class at six-thirty. You said you'd go with me since you had worked over time the last two classes."

Jay sighed and nodded, "Right. Yeah, I'll be done. If not I can pick up where I left off when we get back."

Erin gave him a small smile, "Good because Hank isn't the best supporter."

.

Erin sat on the large exercise ball, Jay's thumbs pressed into her lower back as he knelt behind her on the soft, cushioned mat.

"Deep breaths," he spoke softly as he was prompted by the instructor. "How does this feel?"

Erin shrugged as she adjusted her footing, making sure she wasn't going to fall off the birthing ball. "I think I liked when you were in front of me. I feel unsteady."

"Admit it, you just love holding onto me." Jay teased just above a whisper.

Erin chuckled and shook her head, glancing around the room briefly at the five other couples. The instructor weaving in and out of the pairs. Offering advice and comfort.

Jay stood up and moved so he was facing Erin. She wrapped her arms around his torso, hugging him with her cheek pressed into his shirt, "Better?"

Erin nodded, her eyes closing as she focused on short pants of _heeing_ and _hooing_ like the instructor suggested.

"Alright, for the mothers who don't want to depend on the birthing ball and focus more solely on their partners, I'd suggest trying this." The instructor made her way over to Erin and Jay. "The both of you stand."

Jay reached for Erin's hand, helping her stand up and waited for her to get her balance from sitting for so long the ball.

"Now, Erin, I want you to lean against Jay, your back to his chest." Erin did so, "Now Jay, you can support her by hooking your arms under her arms."

Jay snaked his arms under Erin's, her weight supported by him as she felt relaxed.

The instructor smiled at them and made her way to the next expectant parents.

"How you doing?" Erin questioned, tilting her head up to catch a glimpse of Jay's stubble.

"Good. You?"

"Good." Erin responded, shifting.

Jay pressed his lips to her head, "You sure?"

Erin sighed, "Not really. My legs are going to be like Jell-O if I have to stand like this for hours. Plus, your arms will start to hurt if you have to keep holding me up."

"Erin, don't worry about me. I'm here to support you. You're the one that is going to be giving birth." He ducked his head down a bit to kiss her neck, feeling her pulse against his lips. "Just try and relax."

Erin sighed again, "I'm sorry, you're right."

"It's okay." Jay mumbled against her skin, his hand falling to her belly. There was a few minutes of silence shared between them. Erin slow inhales and exhales and Jay's whispers of support broke up the quietness.

"Alright now let's try some exercises to relieve labor pains in the back." The instructor announced as she made it to the front of the room. "If the mothers would get on all fours, arching your backs out and in will help stretch the muscles. Dads, you guys can help with massaging their backs."

Erin pressed her palms firmly into the yoga mat, her knees apart and parallel with her arms. She arched her back to the ceiling and brought it back down. Jay placed his hand to the middle of her back, drawing circles lazily over her T-shirt.

"This position okay?" Jay asked, able to sit on the floor and see somewhat of Erin's face. He glanced at her for a moment before looking at her belly.

"It's okay, better than the standing one." Erin flicked her head back slightly, a few hairs falling in front of her face. Jay reached over to tuck then behind her ear. "Thanks."

Jay smiled at her and let out a small chuckle as he glanced over her back and along her belly.

"What's so funny?"

Jay got really quiet and whispered, "How many people do you think ended up pregnant because of this position?"

Erin rolled her eyes and suppress laughter, "Halstead."

"Come on, don't act like you weren't thinking about it when she asked you to get like this."

Erin gave Jay a smile an shook her head guiltily. "Let's just get back to back rub."

Jay smiled back before kissing her shoulder as his hands rubbed her back. "Kinda glad Voight wasn't here this time.."

"Halstead." Erin warned.

.

Erin flicked off the kitchen light and shuffled to the living room, shutting the blinds as the city lights glowed.

The rest of the apartment was almost dark, aside from the TV and a soft light coming in from the nursery. There was a faint lullaby of _Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star_ heard as she passed the TV to turn it off.

Jay sat in the glider, a beer in one hand as he stared at the finished crib. The mobile spinning and singing.

"Hey," Erin tiptoed in.

"Hey." Jay said, still staring off. He shifted to set his beer down on the floor as she took a seat on his lap.

Erin leaned down to give him a quick peck, the aftertaste of his beer wetted her lips. She pulled away and brought her hand up to caress his cheek.

"You seem tired." Erin brushed her thumb under his eye.

"I'm just thinking," Jay finally met eyes with Erin. He gave her a small smile before we went back to staring at the turning mobile.

"About?" Erin settled more into his lap, her head resting on his shoulder.

"The baby." Jay stated with a heavy sigh. "And my mom."

Erin pressed her lips to Jay's neck and brought her hand up so her finger could toy with the collar of his T-shirt. Her knuckle brushing against his throat, feeling him swallow the blimp forming there.

"She would have loved to meet you...and even more excited to find out you were giving her a grandkid."

"Yeah." Erin whispered, listening.

"I guess...I just miss her. I know how much she would want to be here for me. For you." Jay mumbled, his hand finding Erin's stomach, "Just wish it still wasn't so hard."

Erin sighed, "I know what you mean, I kept thinking about Camille and Nadia today."

Jay leaned in to kiss Erin's temple, "I love you so much."

Erin nodded, feeling herself tear up at all the memories and hopes flooding her mind. "Love you too." she managed to blubber out.

Jay moved his hand up to her face, cupping her jaw gently and easing her to meet him in the middle. Their lips attach in a slow, passionate kiss. The saltiness of their tears trickled down their cheeks to their soft lips as they both broke away to catch their breaths.

"Marry me." Jay blurted out.

 **Leave a review. Let me know what you think.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Hello! Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter. I love hearing the feedback and kind words on the relationship and pregnancy I've portrayed. Also, sorry for any errors, I've been dealing with a severe toothache and migraines this past week. So my eyes and mind aren't up to par. Anyhow, here is the next chapter.**

 **Enjoy!**

" _Marry me."_

Erin blinked several times before bringing her gaze to meet Jay. "What?" she croaked.

"Marry me?" Jay grinned, his arm wrapping around her waist, almost trapping her to his lap.

"Jay, you can't be serious-"

"I am."

"But-" Erin tried to think of some reason or excuse.

Jay shook his head, "No buts Erin." he patted her hip, causing her to settle into him. The glider rocking them both, "What do you say? Will you marry-"

Erin took her chance to interrupt, her lips capturing Jay's in a heated kiss. Her hands resting on the side of his face, her thumbs brushing over his stubble. When they broke apart, catching their breaths, Erin whispered, "Yes." before returning to Jay's lips again.

Jay chuckled softly into Erin's mouth, causing her to giggle and pull away. Jay's eyes sparkled and the corner of his mouth tugged into a grin while his tongue ran over his swollen bottom lip. Erin blushed and smirked, her dimples deepened when she brushed her finger around his mouth.

Soft breaths and heartbeats heard as Erin moved to rest her head on Jay's chest while he peppered kisses in her hair. "We should get up." he said softly.

Erin nodded but didn't move, wanting to take in a few more minutes of the memory made. To look back and remember how they were sitting, where they were, what they were doing when Jay proposed. How the room smelled of fresh flowers, the way the moon made shadows on the wall from the bars on the cribs. The faint lullaby ended as Jay's spoke and the way the softness of rug felt under Erin's one foot as she curled her toes into it and pressed off the floor causing the glider to rock the again.

"Erin?" Jay brought a touch to her shoulder.

Erin smiled and sat up, her eyes were watering as she leaned in to kiss Jay once more before she stood up.

Jay grinned and scooted off the glider, reaching to the floor to pick up his beer bottle, his other hand closing around Erin's tightly. Jay led them to the kitchen, dumping his beer down the drain before placing the bottle in the trash. He went to the fridge, grabbing both him and Erin a water for the night.

As they made it to the bedroom, Jay placed the water on the bedside table to remove his shirt and handed it to her. Erin removed her own shirt and slip into his. The smell of his cologne infused into the soft cotton as she inhaled and let out a sigh of content.

Jay shuffled to the dresser, searching for a pair of shorts for Erin to sleep in. As he did his fingers brushed against the velvet box. He smiled and glanced over his shoulder to find Erin was preoccupied on pulling the band of her maternity jeans down her belly.

Jay tucked the box into his front pocket of his pants and reached for some sleep shorts. He set the shorts on the dresser in time to see Erin struggle getting her jeans down her legs. Jay knelt down to pull the denim down her legs and ankles as she sat on the edge of the bed. He looked up to smile at her, tossing the pants in the hamper before reaching for her shorts. She placed one foot in followed by the next and used Jay's shoulders for support when she lift her butt off the bed as Jay pulled them up and on her hips.

"Thank you," Erin ran her fingers through Jay's short hair, he in return pressed his lips to her belly, just above the band on her shorts.

"One more thing," Jay dug into his pocket, retrieving the ring box. Even though he already knew the answer his palms felt sweat. The smooth velvet was like butter and slippery as he held it.

Erin shifted, leaning back slightly with her one hand pressed into the mattress for support while the other drew circles over her belly. Their boy somersaulting, hopefully trying to settle down.

Jay opened the velvet box, revealing a simple, yet elegant ring. The main diamond was a cushion cut, with smaller carat diamonds was set into the silver band on each side of it.

Erin sat up with a smile on her face. For months, she wondered what was in the box. She never had the guts to open it. When revealed, she was in awe laced with some shock. The ring wasn't flashy but also it wasn't small and general. It would draw too much attention to her but it would also not be passed by in conversation.

"Let's do this right."Jay mumbled with a chuckled as he shifted to rest on one knee. He held out the box in front of Erin, giving her a closer expecting at the ring, "Erin Lindsay will you marry me?"

Erin nodded and held out left her hand as Jay took the ring out and slid it on her finger. His thumb brushed over her knuckle, holding her hand gently. He glanced up with a grin to see Erin too was just as happy. Jay stood up slowly moving his hands up to hold Erin's hips as he leaned to seal their engagement with a kiss.

Their lips connected, slowly nipping and pecking, taking in each others soft inhales. Jay swept his tongue along Erin's bottom lip feeling her warm breath as she parted her mouth. Granted access his tongue explored the familiarity, feeling hers duel his. Breaking apart to catch their breaths, with foreheads resting together.

Jay placed a kiss to the tip of Erin's nose, "Love you."

"I love you too." Erin leaned in give a soft kiss against Jay's cheek before seeking his lips once more for a short brief kiss.

.

 _Two weeks later_

Erin shut the refrigerator door firmly, holding a Greek yogurt in her hand. She peeled off the foil to swipe her finger over it, taking the excess yogurt and licked her finger clean. Grabbing a spoon from the silverware drawer she glanced at the calendar on the side if the fridge. Taking the pen from the magnetic notepad for grocery lists, she crossed off the day before date. A smile spread across her face as counted down the days until her due date.

"Ten more weeks." Jay commented, walking into the kitchen, his hand brushed over Erin's lower back before patting her belly softly, "Morning."

"Hey," Erin tilted her head up to greet Jay with a kiss, his minty toothpaste giving her lips a tickle.

Jay grinned before his gaze fell to the yogurt, "You stealing my food?"

Erin rolled her eyes, taking a heaping spoonful of the blueberry flavored yogurt between her lips. Pulling the spoon out slowly, with a smug grin, "Delicious."

Jay scowled jokingly, "Thief."

Erin moved to take a seat at the island, shuffling through the junk mail while enjoying her breakfast.

Jay joined her a few minutes later, a thermos of coffee in one hand and a protein bar in the other. His eyes skimmed the sports section of the newspaper, sipping at his coffee. Erin sighed, resting her head on his shoulder, "You okay?" he asked, pressing his lips to her hair that was pulled into a top knot.

"Tired." Erin let her eyes shut for a second before returning to finish the last spoonful of yogurt.

Jay frowned slightly, "I felt you get up a lot last night. The baby kicking your bladder again?"

Erin shook her head, "No, he was just active. Plus I just couldn't get comfortable. My legs are hurting more now."

"Maybe you're on your feet too much at work..you should ask Voight for time-"

"I'm not taking time off." Erin stated firmly, "I only have six weeks maternity leave and two more weeks if I want to use my furlough."

"Then ask for shorter hours. You don't have to come in the mornings. Come in after lunch..work only four hours." Jay tried to reason.

Erin sighed, "I guess. I don't do much in the morning unless there's a case open."

Jay nodded, opening his protein bar, taking a bite. "Just play it by ear, if you feel good- go in. If not, don't go."

Erin reached over to the oat and granola bar drizzled with chocolate, breaking a small piece off to taste.

Jay took one more bite, handing over the rest of his bar for her. "I gotta head out in ten minutes. You coming with?" He got off the stool, clipping his badge to his belt.

"No, you go. Let Hank know I'll take a day off." Erin crumpled the bar wrapper and shoved into her empty yogurt container, tossing it across the kitchen aiming towards the trashcan. The container bounced off the rim and fell to the floor. She looked over at Jay with a sheepish smile.

Jay rolled his eyes and chuckled, bending down to take the container and placing it in the trash. He walked over to Erin, kissing her forehead, his hand firmly cupped her jaw, engaging in a deeper kiss.

Erin sighed and brought her left hand to the back of his neck, her fingers threading through his soft, slightly damp hair.

Jay pulled away, leaving a few pecks to her lips as he opened his eyes, "You don't have your ring on." he mumbled softly.

Erin furrowed her brow and examined her hand, "I had it on when I got up." she ran her thumb over her bare ring finger.

Jay smirked and stepped back, taking the ring out of his back pocket. "You left it in the bathroom in the soap dish."

Erin sighed, taking the ring from him, sliding it on her finger. "I forgot I took it off to shower."

Jay kissed her head again, grabbing her hand to hold catching the time from the cable box, "I have to head out."

Erin nodded, sliding off the stool, her hand rubbing under her belly feeling a tinge of ligament pain. She breathed through it slowly adjusting her posture.

Jay took her hand and led her to the couch, letting her sit and grabbed a pillow so she can prop her legs up on the coffee table. He dug through the cushions of the couch, retrieving the remote. "Watch TV. Relax." Jay instructed. He brushed a few stray strands of hair from Erin's face then dropped his hand to her stomach. "You mister," he rubbed her softly, "don't give your mother too much trouble."

Erin laughed, looking so lovingly at her fiance. She was the luckiest woman in the world. Jay was the best.

Jay pressed his lips to hers in a goodbye kiss, "I'll be home early today. We still meeting Hank for dinner?"

Erin nodded, turning the TV on, "Ask him if we can go out for Italian food."

Jay laced up his shoes, shrugging into a jacket, "Sure thing."

Erin smiled and watched as Jay unlocked the front door, "Love you. Be safe." she called out.

"You too babe." Jay waved and shut the door behind him.

.

"No Lindsay?" Ruzek questioned as Jay made his way up the stairs to intelligence.

"She's taking the day off." Jay greeted Dawson and Olinsky with a nod as he made his way to his desk. He took off his jacket and hung it over his chair. "Voight in?"

Dawson pointed to the break room before going back to his computer.

Jay walked into the break room, "Hey Sarge."

Voight looked up from his black cup of coffee. "Halstead. Morning."

"Lindsay isn't coming in today." Jay told, taking a doughnut from the box that Atwater brought in.

"Everything okay?" Hank tried to mask his concern.

Jay quickly nodded, "Yeah. She just didn't get sleep. Figured since we don't have a case going on, she didn't need to come in."

Hank grunted, bringing his mug to his lips, "She still doing dinner though?"

"That's the plan, but she's wondering if we get Italian."

"Sounds good to me." Hank gave the detective a smile. "One request," he added.

"Yeah? What's that?" Halstead raised an eyebrow, chewing on a chocolate frosted cruller.

"Dress nice. No sweats or jeans." Hank ordered walking out of the room before Jay had any time to question him.

.

"Did he say why?" Jay heard from the bathroom as he adjusted his white button down dress shirt.

"No. All he said was we can't wear sweats or jeans."

Erin sighed and walked out of the bathroom in only her bra and black leggings. "Does he realize I'm seven months pregnant?" she muttered under her breath.

Jay glanced over from pulling his belt through his black slacks. "Babe. Believe me, he knows."

Erin glared at Jay, her jaw locked as she posed with her hands on her hips, "What are you saying? Are you calling me fat-"

Jay quickly snapped his head up, his mouth fell open in a state of shock, "No. Never. I just meant Voight knows pretty much everything..plus I'm sure he knows how far along you are."

Erin rolled her eyes and brushed past Jay, to get into the closet. She picked through the hangers trying to find something appropriate to wear. Settling on long sleeved dress to pair with the leggings she wore. She figured leggings weren't considered jeans or sweats so she was listening to Voight…sorta.

Jay glanced over in the closet watching Erin slip into the dress. The soft material hugged her curves so delicately. Her bump on perfect display, Jay craved to caress it.

"You look amazing." Jay walked into the closet, his hand resting on the small of back, massaging gently.

Erin lifted her gaze from the rack of clothing to meet Jay with tears in her eyes. Her lip quivered as she reached for him, hugging him tightly.

He was taking off guard and almost lost his balance but quickly regained footing. "Woah, hey. What's this about?" Jay rested his chin on top of Erin's curls she just put in her hair. His arms wrapped around her, pressing their bodies closer together.

Erin sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, "I just want to sleep."

Jay sighed, "I promise we don't have to stay long. But let's at least make an effort. Voight seemed really excited you still wanted to go after not coming in today."

Erin nodded into Jay's chest, her fingertips dancing on his back, feeling the coolness of his ironed shirt. "Okay."

"Good." Jay held her for a few minutes, rocking from foot to foot as he moved his hand up and down her back.

.

Jay walked around to the passenger side, opening the door and holding his hand out for Erin, who it took it without protest. The two made the short distance to the restaurant from the parking lot. Jay opened the door to the restaurant, allowing Erin to walk a head.

"Reservation?" the hostess asked.

"Voight, I think." Erin looked over at Jay and shrugged.

Jay nodded and glanced around the spacious room. No wonder Voight picked the dress attire. Everyone, even children were dressed up. Some even wore ties and suit jacket. Jay glanced down and silently cursed himself for opting out of the tie he planned on.

But he had to admit, Erin was dressed better than he was. She discarded the leggings on the way there as she felt overheated. The navy, almost black dress she wore looked so elegant with the open back. The neckline was a slight V-neck, nothing too revealing.

The hostess guided them to the back of the restaurant, to a secluded room, Jay and Erin walked through the doors only to stop dead in their tracks to see the whole room decorated.

"Happy Engagement and Baby!" Everyone yelled.

The intelligence unit was there, as was Platt, the commander. Along with some firehouse 51 and Chicago Med friends and family.

Jay and Erin exchanged looks of shock and glee. Erin had tears in her eyes and Jay wore a grin.

Hank approached the couple, "Surprise."

Erin smiled, "Hank, you didn't have to.."

"Nonsense, Kid. You deserve it." Hank glanced over at Jay, "The both of you."

 **Would you guys like to see the party? Let me know.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Thanks for the reviews last chapter! I'm happy you guys enjoyed it. I know there was many who said yes to seeing the party...I've tried so hard to write it. In fact, I've tried to write this chapter about five times. I would get about three paragraphs in and end up scraping it. Finally, I settled on what I have in this...it's not a party. But I plan on having a short scene of it in the next chapter or so. Sorry to disappoint anyone.**

 **But I hope this chapter is enjoyable.**

 **So enjoy!**

Erin woke up when she felt the mattress shift beside her. She raised her head up from her pillow and turned over to catch Jay sitting straight up, desperately seeking air. His whole body was drenched in sweat as he fisted the sheets.

"Jay?" Erin sat up, leaning over to turn the bedside lamp on. She noticed it wasn't even five in the morning. "Hey, what's going on?"

As she reached out to touch Jay's shoulder, he flinched, propelling his arm out almost making contact with her. "Hey, Jay! It's me. Erin."

Jay mumbled something, bring his knees up to chest. His fingers almost clawed his eyes as he rubbed forcefully over his face and head. They were shaking- everything was shaking.

Erin untangled her feet from the sheets and slowly stood up. She padded over to the light switch, turning it on and made her way over to Jay's side of the bed. "Jay." Finally they made eye contact. Although Erin could tell Jay was only reacting to the sound, his pupils were dilated, the blue in them were just an outline.

Erin spoke as she slowly stretched out her hands to Jay's trembling body, "Jay." her voice was soft and gentle. Just above a whisper. "Jay, wake up..it's Erin."

"Erin..." his voice cracked, "Erin?"

"Yeah, it's me-" Erin shifted from foot to foot, their son deciding it's the best time to flip and turn. "I'm right here."

Jay sighed and groaned, peeling the damp sheet from his body, unbending his knees to let his legs stretch out the length of the bed. He squinted at the harsh light, furrowing his brow when he caught what time it was. Then was confused even more as to why his fiancee was hovering over him, her face contorted with concern and panic.

"You had a nightmare." Erin informed, her hand gently rubbing his back as his breathing returned back to normal.

Jay could feel his heart pounding, his throat rough and sore. "I'm okay…" he whispered.

Erin tilted her head to study Jay's face, "You wanna talk about it?" She moved to sit on the edge of the bed, her soft palms massaging his bicep and arm before she laced her fingers with his.

Jay cleared his throat as he collected his thoughts. The dream still so vivid. "I was in the Humvee..Mouse next to me. We were going through an open field." Jay swallowed a few times, his throat so dry. "We drove over a landmine..the Humvee destroyed. Mouse..dead." Tears fell down his face as he recalled the dream that felt too real. "I was launched-" Jay choked, coughing as he seeked air.

"Shh...it's okay. It was just a dream." Erin scooted forward, she took a hold Jay's other hand.

Jay hated the tightness he felt in his chest. He hated feeling so weak and beaten. How he wished he could just forget it all. To just remember the better times. To focus on the present. He cursed that Erin was up with him, taking care of him. She didn't need that. Erin needed to sleep. She needed to take care of herself. Hell, Jay needed to take care of her, not the other way around.

"I'll be okay..you go back to bed." Jay squeezed her hands in his, trying his best to smile.

"You sure? We have to get up in an hour anyway...I'll stay up with you."

Jay shook his head and leaned in to kiss Erin's forehead. "You sleep. I think I'm going to go for a run."

"But it's still dark out and cold."

Jay shrugged, "I just need to clear my head."

Erin nodded and moved off the bed, "Make sure you have the volume up high on your phone. Last time you left on vibrate and I had a panic attack trying to track you down on the stupid trail."

"My phone will be on, promise. Now," Jay stood up, his hand pressed into Erin's back, "go back to bed." he gave her a little nudge in the direction of her side of the bed.

Erin got into the bed, rested her head down and covered herself with the sheet. She watched as Jay discarded his sleep pants for a pair of shorts and covered his bare chest with a muscle tank. He put some deodorant on, grabbed his phone with a smug grin as he waved it at Erin, "See. Phone." he dropped it his shorts pocket followed by his ear buds.

Erin sat up and reached for Jay's arm, pulling him near her. "Kiss before you go."

Jay chuckled and leaned down to capture her lips in a lingering kiss. His finger brushed up her throat to her chin, before he cupped her jaw softly, pulling away. "Get some sleep, Er. I'll be back before work."

Erin sighed and fell back into the bed, her eyes already fluttering shut. "Be safe."

Jay smiled and pushed her hair from her face, "Always."

.

Jay looked down at his watch and contemplated on whether another go around of the trail would be cutting too close. He opted out on the large trail through a wooded area and settled on a smaller path.

His phone rang as he made it halfway through the trail. He paused at a large oak tree, leaning against the trunk of it. Before answering he took a quick swig of water and caught his breath.

"Halstead." Jay answered.

"Where did you put the cereal?" Erin questioned.

Jay chuckled and shook his head, "Check the cupboards." He could hear her open and shut the cabinets, then some rustling of chip bags before she responded, "Got em. Okay bye."

"Did you seriously just call for that?"

"Yeah..." Erin said as she shoved a handful of Cinnamon Toast Crunch into her mouth. She chewed a little, "I was hungry."

Jay sighed, "Use a bowl, Erin."

"Yeah, yeah,yeah." she dismissed, taking a few more square cereal pieces into her mouth, "You coming home?"

"I was just about to finish this path and head back." Jay informed as he started to walk.

"Alright see you soon." Erin could hear the leaves crunch under Jay's feet as he picked up his pace.

Quiet pants escapes his lip as he breathed into the phone. "Yeah. Soon."

Erin mumbled a "I love you." before she disconnected. She went back over to the box of cereal, taking it with her to the couch and settled into watching some reality show.

.

Jay made it to the end of the trail, he used his shirt to wipe the sweat that trickled down his face. As he walked to catch his breath his glanced down at his phone, checking the time.

"Detective Halstead," he heard a woman call out from behind him.

Jay turned his head over his shoulder as he groaned under its breath as the blonde woman approached him with smile on her face.

"What do you want, Bunny?" Distaste echoed in his voice.

Bunny rolled her eyes, "There's no need to be rude "

Jay let out a low laugh as he continued to walk away.

Bunny followed, walking beside him, "How's Erin?"

"Good." Jay provided.

"Did she have the baby?" Bunny asked, her voice peaked in a cheery tone. "It's a girl, right? I've always picture her having a girl…"

"You shouldn't be here askin' about Erin." Jay said shortly.

Bunny sighed, "Just because Hank wants to play hero doesn't give him the right to keep _my_ daughter away from me."

Jay snapped his head around, a stern glare from his eyes. "He is doing what's best for Erin. Something you need to learn."

Bunny scowled, " _What's best for Erin?_ What's best is she talks to her mother. She needs motherly advice especially if she is going to be a mother herself."

Jay shook his head and laugh, loudly. "You keep telling yourself that you're good for Erin." He picked up his walk, taking three long steps to Bunny's shorter ones. "Whatever you need to get yourself from avoiding the truth."

Bunny sped up, surprisingly keeping up with Jay, "You know, Erin didn't always have such a bad childhood. She's always so over dramat-"

Jay stopped in his tracks, causing Bunny to collide with him. He spun to his side so he was face to face with her, disgust written across his features, "Your so-called boyfriend was drunk or high, sneaking into her bedroom in the middle of the night…" Jay could feel his blood boil, "trying to touch her. Meanwhile your sitting on your ass, doing a line or pouring another glass." He clenched his jaw and shook his head, counting backwards from ten. Willing himself to calm down given they were standing in the middle of a park, people walking by. "I don't what the hell your definition of 'bad' is- but that to me is pretty damn bad. So bad that she started having flashbacks...that ended her up in the hospital!"

Bunny was speechless, all that escaped her lips was a gasp.

"She might be your daughter. But she doesn't need nor want any of your _motherly_ advice!" Jay shoved his hands deep his pockets. "Here's some advice for you. Stay away from me. Stay away from Erin. And you better believe I will do whatever I have to keep you away from our son." Jay spat and walked away.

Bunny didn't follow this time.

.

Jay calmed himself down before he entered the house not wanting to raise awareness to Erin.

Erin heard the door open and she looked up from the couch, moving her feet from the coffee table. "Hey, how was your run?"

Jay let out a slow sigh and smiled, approaching over to lean in to capture Erin's lips. He pressed his hands gently on her cheeks, pulling her closer to him and deepening the kiss. Desperately he sought comfort. He needed to know she was there, safe.

Erin smiled and looked Jay over as they pulled away, "You okay?"

Jay nodded and reached down to take Erin's hand in his, he pressed his lips to her palm. "Let's shower."

"Okay.." Erin whispered as she stood up, wiping the cereal crumbs from her shirt. Jay swung his arm around her neck, his lips found her temple before he kissed her lips again. After a few minutes of their sweet moment, Erin pushed her hand off of Jay's chest, catching her breath. "Jay..what's going on?"

"Not important." he went to lean in but Erin stepped back slightly. Jay sighed and stared at her, "I ran into Bunny."

Erin blinked, taken aback. "What? Where?"

"After my run." Jay confessed.

"Well what did she want?" Erin questioned, stepping back to sit on the arm of the couch. Her hands rested on her belly protectively.

Jay moved to stand between her legs, he wrapped his arms around her, kissing her head. "She just wanted to get info on you. Ask about the baby." Jay mumbled into Erin's hair, "Just forget about her Erin."

Erin nodded into Jay chest, she scrunched her nose as she pulled away to look up at him, "You're sweaty."

Jay chuckled and stepped back, "You going to join me in the shower?"

Erin nodded, "You start it, I'll be in there in a few minutes." She gave Jay a quick peck before he scampered to the bathroom. Erin waited to hear the water run before she reached for her cell phone. She sighed and flicked through her contacts. Pressing the phone to her ear, she waited for a set of rings before the line picked up.

"Hi Mom." Erin closed her eyes and let out a shaky, nervous breath. "We need to talk."

 **So what do you think? Bunny's back..this should be full of emotions.**


	24. Chapter 24

**Hello! Thank you all for then reviews. I know I got a few mixed reviews on the return of Bunny...which is completely understandable. Bunny isn't exactly the most liked character. But you have to have to a little bad to let the good shine, right?**

 **Anyhow, enjoy!**

 _One week later_

Erin unbuckled her seat belt and took her key out of the ignition. She grabbed her purse from the passenger seat and got out of the car. The autumn breeze picked up, causing a whistle to be heard in the packed streets. Leaves crunched under Erin's boots and she made her way from the road to the bar.

The bell chimed above the door as she entered, the smell of beer and grease invaded her senses. Erin scanned the row of stools and behind the bar just as Bunny came in through the double doors leading to the kitchen.

"Erin! Sweetie." Bunny greeted as she set her case of glasses on the counter.

"Hey mom." Erin gave the older woman a small wave as she took a seat in a stool.

Bunny smiled and poured her a glass of water, sliding it in front of her. "I'm so happy you showed up."

"I set the date and time...so of course I'd show up." Erin unbuttoned her jacket, shrugging it off her shoulders and placed it along with her purse on the stool next to her. She looked around the small room, only an elderly couple sat on the far end of the bar.

Bunny's eyes shifted from her daughter's face to her protruding stomach that rested on her lap. "How you feeling?"

Erin shrugged and sat up straighter, "Good, I guess." she ran her finger over the rim of her glass, watching the ice swirl and condensation build up.

"How far along are you?" Bunny asked, moving clean up a bit a few spots over from Erin.

"Almost thirty three weeks." Erin informed, taking a sip of the water.

"Jay said you're having a boy?" Bunny's voice was flat as Jay's name was said but rose at the mention of the gender.

"Yeah, we're having a boy." Erin couldn't help but smile while she felt the baby squirm.

Bunny grinned, "You look really good, Erin."

Erin nodded and pursed her lips, eyeing her mother. "Thanks. Now, wanna tell me why I'm here?"

A small groan came from Bunny, "Why can't a mother just want to see her daughter?"

Erin rolled her eyes and let out a small laugh, "Because when it's you-" she paused, biting her tongue before she composed herself. "Do you need anything from me?"

Bunny sighed, dropping her wet rag in the bucket on the floor, "No. I just want to talk. Catch up."

Erin looked at her hands, "Fine."

"Tell me...how long have you been engaged?" Bunny did her best to act like the news didn't affect her.

Erin's eyes widen, "How did you know?"

Bunny chuckled and pointed to Erin's finger, the engagement ring sparkled under the fluorescent lights.

"Oh," Erin gave a small smile and moved her thumb over the band, still getting butterflies every time she saw it. "about three weeks."

"I'm proud of you, Erin. Truly I am...you're going to have everything I wanted." Bunny's voice softened as she busied herself with filling the napkin holders.

Erin glanced up, a short inhale caught in her breath as she studied her mother. She dropped her hand to her belly, drawing circles over her brown long sleeved shirt. She wasn't sure if her hormones was getting the best of her or if her mother could actually be acting like a mother.

A quietness fell upon the bar as the elderly couple cashed out and left the mother and daughter to themselves. Bunny cleared off the other end of the bar, where the couple were seated when Erin's phone rang.

Erin dug through her jacket pocket, swiping to answer her phone, "Lindsay...hmm...okay, I'll head in." she ended the call and slid off the stool.

"Work?" Bunny asked, watching as Erin pulled her jacket back on and placed her purse back over her shoulder.

Erin nodded, "Yeah. I gotta headed out."

"You know, I have tomorrow off. If you aren't busy. We should get lunch." Bunny offered.

Erin chewed on the inside of her cheek, contemplating. "I'll keep in touch."

Bunny nodded smally, "Okay."

.

Erin walked up the stairs to the bullpen, she greeted Dawson with a smile as he brushed past her to the white board. He tacked on a photo of a young girl and started to write her information under it.

Jay was making up coffee in the break room when Erin made it to her desk. She glanced at the two files full of forms that needed to be filled out for this recent case. She sighed loudly as she caught a glimpse of the girl from white board, her face bruised and swollen while she was hooked up to several monitors, a breathing machine tube securely over her mouth.

"Hey Kid." Voight said, bringing her out of her own thoughts.

Erin flipped the file shut, glancing up at her boss, "Hi."

"You're pairing up with Mouse today to get any information on this ass who put this girl in the hospital. That means I want bank accounts, history reports, any estates present and past."

"Got it." Erin sat in her chair. Logging into her computer and started to pull up the bank account of this guy.

Her vision was obstructed by a styrofoam cup dangling in front of her screen. She glanced up to see Jay's smiling face, "Apple cinnamon tea." he provided.

Erin grinned, taking the hot beverage from his grasp, "Thanks."

"Missed you this morning." Jay's voice was just above a whisper.

The bullpen was busy, but still quiet as everyone had their noses in files and staring at their computer screens.

Erin swallowed slowly, dropping her eyes back to her keyboard, "Yeah, I wanted to run errands so I don't have to rush before Lamaze."

Jay nodded, "I told you I would do shopping so you could rest."

Erin sighed, "I know." She knew she shouldn't have lied to Jay about being with Bunny. But he would have convinced her not to go. He was still angry about her mother approaching him in the park. If he knew Erin went to see her after he told Bunny to stay away, he'd be more upset. Jay would probably get Voight involved and Erin didn't want that. She was an adult and was capable of making her own decisions.

Besides, Bunny seemed to be okay today. She didn't ask for money or anything from Erin. She just wanted to talk. Erin was fine with that.

"You okay?" Jay noticed Erin fixated on her computer, her mind elsewhere.

Without looking at him, Erin nodded, "Yeah, all good." then she gave him a genuine smile. "Thanks for the tea."

"Anything for you." Jay responded before reaching over to squeeze Erin's shoulder then walked over to his desk.

.

Ruzek groaned loudly, shoving his keyboard back towards his screen, his mouse fell off his desk. "This guy is like a ghost!"

Mouse, Erin and Jay all looked over at Adam before nodding in unison.

Dawson and Olinsky walked out of the break room, topping off their coffees.

"Anything yet, Lindsay?" Dawson asked passing by.

"Nothing." Erin muttered, running her fingers through her hair, a sigh escaped her lips and she let her tired eyes shut for a second before she continued to flick through the next stack of bank statements. "Last withdrawal was three months ago."

"You're telling me this guy hasn't been active in anything for the last three months? No credit charges? Nothing?"

Erin nodded and shuffled through the files, "Nothing. All accounts were inactive."

Olinsky sighed, rubbing his face softly, "Are we sure we have the right information on him. Even the slightest misspelling or height difference can throw us off."

"From what Elle, the victim's mother said, her boyfriend Victor Lesser is the guy that beat her daughter." Atwater informed.

"Patrol couldn't get him when she called it to make an incident report?" Jay asked.

Dawson shook his head, "Elle didn't call the police. Neighbor heard yelling so they called it in. Victor ran before cops got there."

Erin gritted her teeth, "What did Elle say to the officers?"

"She wasn't there when the incident occurred. Lesser was watching the daughter while Elle was at work. She came home as soon as the police found her daughter in the tool shed."

Erin shook her head and pushed back in her chair, she got up and walked to the locker room. Jay followed right behind.

"We're going to get him." Jay said softly, seeing Erin pace the short distance from bench to bench.

"We have to." Erin stressed, "That girl needs to know she is safe. That he isn't going to hit her ever again. How could a human being hurt an innocent child?! He just left her there..."

Jay cut Erin off from pacing, standing in front of her. His hands found her waist while his thumbs massaged the side of her belly. "Hey." he pressed and squeezed her hips gently, "We will get this guy. That little girl is going to be fine. Natalie informed us that she is off the breathing machines and has no brain damage."

Erin sighed and held her hands with Jay's as she rested her forehead on his chest. She inhaled deeply, relishing the silence of their soft breaths.

Dawson tapped his knuckles on the door and popped his head in, "Jay, Voight needs us to check out an old warehouse that belonged to Lesser's brother. He might be hiding out there."

Jay nodded and pulled away from Erin. He brushed his thumbs along her cheekbone, capturing her in a brief kiss.

"Go. Find him." Erin stepped back, to sit on the bench.

Jay frowned a little. He could see Erin was taking a lot in from this case. Maybe a little too much than she should.

"You should go out back, get some fresh air...clear your head."

"Jay, I'm fine." Erin promised.

Jay didn't press it. He just leaned down and kissed her once more before leaving with Dawson.

.

Lesser was found, dragged into the interrogation room. He grunted as he was tossed in a chair and handcuffed to the bar that ran along the underside of the table.

Erin leaned against the double sided mirror, her arms crossed over her belly.

Voight teasingly weaved from left to right of Lesser, his jaw locked and his gaze was stern.

"So, you want to tell me what happened to Kayla?" Voight cut straight to the point.

"Don't know." Lesser shrugged with a cocky grin.

Erin could feel her blood boil, her hands falling to her side as she pushed off the wall with her boot.

"Cut the crap. We know what you did to Kayla. Your DNA is on her, on the shovel you hit her with." Erin stepped over to him, his eyes danced across her body. The grin never fading.

"Why did you beat her?" Voight cupped Lesser's jaw, snapping his gaze away from Erin.

"I said I didn't-" before Lesser could finish, Voight slapped him hard.

"Why?" Erin pressed.

Lesser groaned and clamped his mouth shut. Voight's hand made contact again.

After ten more minutes of interrogation, Lesser confessed. Erin walked out of the interrogation room, bumping into Jay as he came from the bathroom.

"You got him?"

Erin nodded and went to her desk. Her eyes glanced over at the whiteboard. The feeling of relief and justice washed over her. She felt her chest loosen and weight lifted from her shoulders.

The past ten hours had piled up on her so much, she didn't realize until she actually had a clear head. As she was logging out of her computer, she felt her cheeks become hot with tears and her sniffling before she felt a hand on her shoulder.

A blurry vision of Jay came into focus, his eyes were tired and filled with concern as they danced from her eyes down her body.

This case, especially since it involved a kid, was a tough one. After the day is done their emotions got the best of them.

"Let's head home." Jay whispered, he looked up to see Voight on the other side of Erin. He nodded in agreement.

"You did great job today Kid. Call it a night."

Erin wiped her eyes and nodded, standing up as Voight helped her into her jacket. Jay grabbed her hand and quickly led her to his desk so he could grab his key and log out of his own computer.

.

"Go to bed." Jay said into the darkness.

Erin shifted for the third time that night, scrunching her body pillow. "I can't sleep." she whispered, sniffling.

"Er, you gotta try." Jay sympathised, he wrapped his arm around her, scooting closer. Her back pressed firmly into his chest. "Please." his breath tickled her neck, causing a shiver down her spine.

Erin shifted again, sighing. "Why do you think Elle stayed with Victor?"

Jay groaned, "I don't know. I don't think she knew either."

Silence fell upon them. Neither sleeping just listening to each other's breathing and the traffic outside the opened window of their bedroom. Erin sighed, reaching her hand behind her to touch Jay's shoulder. She then dropped her hand between them, pushing herself up and off her pillow.

Jay scooted back over to his side of the bed, giving her room to turn to her other side. They now laid face to face, Erin's body pillow hugging her belly close and wrapped between her legs. Jay rested his head on an open spot of her pillow, his arm stretched across her belly to her back, "Go to sleep."

Erin let her eye close, as she could hear Jay snore softly minutes later before it lulled her to sleep.

.

Jay felt the sheets being pulled and a hand on his chest causing him to groan and open his eyes just in time to see Erin's back.

Jay watched as Erin pushed herself up from the mattress and placed her feet on the cold floor before shuffling quickly to the bathroom. Jay squinted as the harshness of her flicking the bathroom light invaded the dark bedroom. He then rolled over, taking the sheet with him, pulling it up to his shoulder. Just as he closed his eyes, the sound of a vibrating phone filled the room. Blindly, he reached for his phone to find that it was Erin's cell going off. Jay sat up and rolled back over, grabbing her cell off her bedside table just as the vibration stopped and a small chime was heard.

 _One missed call._ Jay swiped his thumb over the number pad, entering Erin's passcode to unlock her screen. Bunny's name flashed followed by a text message she just sent. It read: _Meet for Lunch? Call me._

Jay's reread the message several times, his mind wandering. He was quickly brought out of his thoughts when he heard the sink run and quickly placed Erin's phone back where it was kept. Jay scooted back to his side of the bed just as Erin padded her way back to the bed, noticing Jay awake.

"Sorry," she whispered, "I didn't wake you, did I?"

Jay cleared his sleep coated throat, "Uh, no. I thought I heard a phone."

Erin nodded and lifted the sheet, easing herself into the bed. Small grunts escaped as she tried to get comfortable on her side. "You see who it was?"

Jay shook his head, "No. I checked mine but by the time I grabbed yours it stopped."

Erin retrieved her phone where Jay had put it back, she entered her pass code and thumbed through her messages. She pressed the phone to her ear, listening to the voicemail.

Jay waited for her to get done before asking, "Anything important?" he brought his hand up from under the covers to rub his tired eyes and face before tucking I under the pillow his head was rested on.

Erin clicked her phone to sleep mode and placed back on the table, "No. It was some telemarketer."

Jay sighed but masked is by a yawn. He so desperately wanted to question her lie, but he knew it wasn't the time...being that it was only four in the morning...so he had to wait on it until morning.

Erin shifted so she was cuddled into Jay's side, her hand sprawled out over his bare chest. Her left leg inbetween hisblegs while her right foot was kicking him in the calf to find warms. She left out a tired sigh, her breath warm against his neck, she then placed a single kiss to his pulse before falling back asleep. All while Jay was wide awake.

 **Hopefully you liked it. I hope the case/police stuff made sense. I struggled with it, but for the most part I think it was okay...Let me know what you think.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Hello. So anyone else recovering from last week Linstead? I'm still drooling. Haha. Hopefully updates of this will hold us over until May. I can't believe I have written 25 chapters and almost 330 reviews! Thanks for the reviews and making my day better.**

 **Enjoy!**

Erin finished buttoning her shirt over her bump as she walked into the still damp hair was pulled into a bun ontop of her head. Smiling, she glanced over at Jay who was seated at the counter, bringing his mug of coffee to his lips "Morning." Erin greeted, reaching up to squeezing Jay's shoulder as she passed him on the way to the fridge. "Showers open."

Jay looked up from the _Chicago Tribune_ , "Any hot water left?" a smug grin fell upon his lips as he watched Erin leaned over to look into the fridge, her cleavage peeking through her flowy blouse.

She pulled out the milk and a fruit cup, "I wasn't in there that long." Erin commented as she shuffled from the fridge to grab a spoon from the silverware drawer.

Erin sat down next to Jay just as her phone rang from where it was charging which was closest to him.

Jay glanced at the caller ID, _Bunny_ flashed on the screen. He groaned and unplugged the phone before handing it to Erin, "It's your mother."

Erin took the call, she eyed Jay, who was clearly irritated. "Hi mom."

"Hey sweetie. Haven't heard about lunch...did you still want to get together?"

"Yeah. Lunch is fine. I'll call if things change." Erin took a spoonful of fruit into her mouth when she heard Jay let out a groan. She looked over to see him pouting. "Listen...I gotta get ready for work."

Bunny's voice rose with excitement, "Alright. See you in a few hours."

"Yep. Bye." Erin hung up her cell. She handed it over to Jay, "Can you plug it back in?" Jay took the phone and plugged it in, not looking over at her. "You aren't going to say anything?" Erin questioned, shock apparent in her voice.

Jay shrugged, pushing his chair put and taking his coffee with him, "You'll just tell me a lie. So what's the point?"

Erin creased her brow, "What?"

Jay sighed, rubbing his face trying to calm himself. "I saw it was Bunny who called you last night. You lied about it."

"I just didn't want to get into with you in the middle of the night." Erin defended.

"But you lied." Jay retorted.

Erin shook her head softly, "I'm sorry. I should have told you I was talking to Bunny again...I just didn't want to be questioned."

Jay dropped his mug in the sink, "I don't get why you are even talking to her?"

"She's my mom, Jay! Don't you think I should have some sort of relationship with her?" Erin stressed, waving her hands in the air before dropping them to the side of her legs, a small _smack_ heard against her denim maternity pants.

Jay groaned, "No! I don't. Not when all she does is tear you down."

Erin shook her head, holding back her true emotions. "She can change Jay."

"If she hasn't changed already, what will?" Jay muttered, rinsing his mug in the sink before opening the dishwasher and putting it in.

"Maybe because I'm carrying her grandson?" Erin shifted to slide off the chair, her hip bumping into the counter's edge as she did so. "Or I'm getting married?"

Jay let out a small laugh, "Yeah, okay. Like that matters to her."

Erin stared up at the ceiling, feeling tears well up. "It matters to me." She whispers, letting out a shaky breath.

Hearing the hurt in her voice, Jay looked over to her visibly upset. "Erin...come on?"

"Just forget about it. I won't go." Erin waved him off, turning around to head towards the bedroom. She wasn't in the mood to get into an argument over her mother.

Jay gripped the sink, bowing his head as he took control of his temper. After a moment of silence, he hesitantly walked to the bedroom.

Erin was running a brush through her wet strands in the bathroom when Jay appeared in the reflection of the mirror.

Jay sat on the toilet lid, he cleared his throat, "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." He went to touch Erin hand as she rested in on the rim of the sink.

"Yeah, well you did." Erin spat, moving her hand away to stretch an elastic in her hair, securing the ponytail. She moved from the sink, walking into the bedroom.

Jay followed once again, this time he stood in front her, stopping her from digging through the dresser drawers, "Please, just let me explain."

"There's nothing to explain, Jay! You made yourself very clear!"

"I just want you to really think about it." Jay pleaded.

"I did." Erin moved away from Jay. "I'm going to see my mother."

"Fine. Go- but don't come to me when she isn't who you want her to be." Jay stepped pass Erin, walking out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. He swiped his phone off the counter along with his keys and headed out of their apartment, the door slamming.

Erin finished getting ready, pulling a pair of socks on, followed by her boots. She retrieved her coat from the hooks by the front door, as she went to put in on, her stomach tightened. Erin brought her hand over her bump, feeling the once soft skin was now taut and firm. After only twenty seconds, her stomach softened and she felt the baby flutter.

Erin stood still for a few minutes, seeing if it would happened again, when it didn't she went back to putting her coat on and left for work.

.

Jay and Erin didn't say two words to each other when they saw one another. Thankfully, everyone was busy on their own paperwork to notice. Jay would occasionally glance over at her but their gazes never crossed.

It was a quiet day, the only sounds were coming from keyboards or another pot of coffee being brewed.

Erin's cell went off and Jay glanced at the time. It was ten minutes past noon, so he came to conclusion it was Bunny. Likely checking to see if Erin still wanted to meet up.

Erin pushed back in her chair, answering the phone as she slowly made her way to the locker room for some privacy. Minutes later she returned, taking her coat off the back of her chair before knocking on Hank's door.

Jay could see Erin being signaled in by Voight, she entered and shut the door firmly behind her. Jay watched as Erin spoke with her hands, clearly she was upset while Hank leaned back in his chair. His lips pursed and his arms crossed over his chest...he definitely wasn't buying whatever Erin was saying. Hank shook his head which only caused Erin to spin in her boots, rushing out of the office.

Erin slammed the door, bringing attention to her. Everyone's head snapped up to look at her, their eyes followed as she descended down the stairs.

Jay wheeled back, ready to follow her but Voight stopped him, "Let her go."

Jay looked over at his boss, his eyes wide, "Sarge, you can't be serious."

Hank sighed, "Erin is stubborn, you and I both know this." Jay went to respond but he was cut off as Hank continued, "We also know that Erin is smart. She knows the type of person her mother can be."

"But it's not just her anymore-" Jay tried to explain.

Hank nodded, "Erin knows that too."

Jay moved back in his chair, grabbing his keys from his desk drawer.

"Halstead. Don't." Voight warned.

"All due respect, Sarge. But I'm not letting her get wrapped into whatever Bunny has up her sleeve." With that, Jay went the way Erin did.

.

Jay pulled into an empty parking spot on the side of street, his cell phone next to him on the passenger seat. He watched as Erin stepped out of her car and made her way to the bar. Bunny was near the door, holding it open for her.

He waited a few minutes before he killed the engine and stepped out of the car. He shoved his hands in his pockets, keeping them warm from the October chill.

Erin was seated at the bar, Bunny chatting with her as she poured them some pop. Jay opened the door, the bells chimed as he entered. Erin and Bunny both turned to him, with a look of shock and annoyance on their faces.

Erin spun in the stool, her eyes squinted at him, "What are you doing here?"

"Erin, you want him out?" Bunny said as she reached over the bar to hold Erin's hand.

Jay glared at the older woman, shaking his head, "No she doesn't." He looked over at his fiancee who was frozen, he could tell she was trying to think.

"Erin?" Bunny shook at Erin's hand, wanting an answer.

Erin turned to look over at a mother, she didn't speak. All she did was nod.

Jay's mouth fell open as he took a step back. The wind almost getting knocked out of him as the action of Erin took him by surprise.

Did she seriously just pick her mother over him? She was kicking him out...her fiance..the father of their unborn son.

"Detective, Erin would like for you-"

Jay brought his hand up, cutting her off, "I know." He looked over at Erin and shook his head, hurt visible before turning and heading back outside.

As he got to the car, Erin exited the bar, the bells above the door stopped him from unlocking the driver's side door. He glanced at his pregnant fiancee over the hood of the car.

Erin walked a few steps towards the car, "Jay, wait."

Jay laughed, "What could you possibly have to say?"

"Just let me have lunch. That's all I want." Erin explained.

"Until Bunny asks you out again?"

Erin shook her head, "No. Just lunch. Then I'll tell her to leave me alone….I just need closer."

Jay sighed, nodding slowly. "Fine. But I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here." he pointed to his car.

"Okay," Erin gave him a small smile, "thank you."

.

"Is he gone?" Bunny asked just as she took a plate of fries from the kitchen.

Erin took her seat, "Yeah."

Bunny smiled cheerily, "I still can't believe you guys are together. He always seems so controlling."

"Yeah," Erin glared at her mother, who's back was turned while she took some burgers from the cook. She knew Jay was only looking out for her, but her mother would think otherwise. Even though she was the one who was the most controlling.

Erin picked at the fries, her empty stomach satisfied with the food. Her son fluttering around as she caressed her belly with her free hand.

"I wanted to tell you," Bunny turned with plates, fixing the burgers with tomato and lettuce, "I met someone."

Erin tried to sound interested, "Who?"

"His name is Craig. He's really nice, works as a trucker for a steel company."

"Where did you meet?" Erin asked before took a huge bite of her burger.

"Craig and your uncle used to work in Tennessee together. When Craig moved back here, your uncle said if he needed help to send him to me. So I helped with finding a place to live. Things just went from there." Erin nodded, half paying attention. "You should come by for dinner this weekend. You can meet Craig..and his son who is thirteen."

Erin finished chewing and washed the burger down with a sip of Cola. "Mom, I can't."

"Well then next week."

"No. I mean I can't at all." Erin stressed, "I need to focus on me."

"Is this what you think or Voight and Jay?" Bunny hissed.

"This is what _I_ want, Mom." Erin informed with force, "I don't need stress in my life. _Us.."_ Erin signaled between them, "isn't easy. There's always going to be stress. Right now, being pregnant and planning a wedding, I don't need that."

Bunny clenched her jaw and tisked, "So you just came by out of sympathy? I don't need your pity."

"I came for closure." Erin stated. "We both know my childhood wasn't the greatest." Bunny rolled her eyes at that. "With me being pregnant, thinking about how I want my child to be raised...I want to give my baby the best life possible. With that, I need to close all the concern and worry of my childhood. The means cutting the bad and hurt out of my life."

Bunny shifted and glared at her daughter.

Erin could feel herself slouch under the stern gaze but she quickly sat up straighter not wanting to show weakness.

"If you show you're changed. Then maybe we can start over." Erin spoke softly, "Until then, I can't do this." She slid off the bar stool, fishing through her pocket to place a ten dollar bill on the bar. "Thanks for lunch, Mom." Erin's voice cracked as she walked towards the door.

Bunny was angry but didn't say anything. She just watched as Erin left.

Jay was waiting, the moment he saw Erin he was right by her side. "How did it go?"

"Good. I said what I needed to say." Erin let out a heavy sigh.

Jay wrapped his arm around her, pressing his lips to her temple, "Let's get back to work." Erin nodded as Jay led them back to his car. "I'll pick up your car later."

Erin glanced back at the bar, opening the passenger door. She bent down to get inside the car. As she did, she felt the pain from earlier. Her stomach became hard but softened by the time Jay walked around to the driver side.

Jay looked over to help her with her seatbelt, noticing Erin pressing at her stomach. "What's wrong?"

Erin looked over, "I think I just had a contraction."

 **So how did I do with the Bunny scene? Was it out of character when Jay was upset with Erin? Let me know.**


	26. Chapter 26

**Wow, guys. Wow! If I counted correctly, I had twenty reviews last chapter. My email inbox hasn't been that full since I accidentally put my email address into those annoying survey and get bombarded with spam. So, thank you! Hope you all have a happy Friday.**

 **Enjoy!**

"You aren't in labor." Dr. Milford informed, pulling off her latex gloves and disposing them.

Erin dropped her legs from the stirrups to sit up, a sigh escaped her lips. "But I swore I felt a contraction."

"You might have, but not a labor one." Dr Milford smiled at Erin and then to Jay who was seated right near Erin's head.

"Braxton Hicks contractions?" Jay questioned, earning a confused look from his fiancee. "What? I read up on pregnancy and labor."

Erin smirked and shook her head at him. Of course he did. Jay loved to be informed on everything. He always had some pamphlet in the bedside drawer about expecting parents. It was what he did to pass the time, he read. Not novels, but something that he could actually learn from. In some cases, he was even more informed than Erin was.

"You are correct, Jay." Dr Milford boosted Jay's ego, causing him to grin widely.

Erin laughed softly as she smoothed out her shirt, "So what do I do now?"

Dr. Milford wheeled back over to Erin's side, scanning her file. "Everything seems to be measuring just right. The baby is of average weight for how far along you are. Just keep doing what you are doing."

Erin nodded and felt Jay reach over to grab her hand, his lips found her palm has he curled his fingers into it. She gave him a smile which he returned.

Dr. Milford finished everything that needed to be done and gave Erin the good to go. But not without handing Jay some more pamphlets.

Halstead flipped through one as they made their way to the car. "Says here we should check with our hospital about their policy on rooming-in. Also you should sign up for breastfeeding classes."

Erin glanced at Jay sideways, stepping into the elevator. "Who says I want to breastfeed?"

Jay creased his brow, pushing the parking garage button, causing the elevator to jerk in the tracks as the door closed and it descended down. "Well, don't you?"

Erin shrugged, "I guess. But I don't see why I need a class. It's kind of self explanatory.." Erin said bringing her hand up in the air to chest level.

Jay chuckled, eyeing her a little longer than appropriate. A small swat to his shoulder caused him to look up at Erin's eyes, which she rolled them.

"You're a pig, Halstead."

"Hey!" Jay whined, "I am not."

Erin laughed, snatching the tri-folded paper from his grasp. She scanned the paragraphs of information. "It also says here that when we get the car seat installed to have it be checked by a professional technician."

"I know how to install a carseat." Jay muttered.

Erin shoved the pamphlet back at him, "I trust you. But let's be safe."

The elevator reached the parking garage, Jay unlocked the car, the beep making it easier to locate it. He opened the door for Erin before walking around and getting in the drivers seat.

Erin sighed loudly, her phone vibrated in the cup holder.

Jay started the car and backed out of the parking spot, "Let me guess, Bunny?"

"Yeah." Erin managed to say before she started to cry. Her hands rubbing at the tears that streamed down her face.

"Woah, Erin." Jay pulled over as they got out of the parking structure. He reached over, taking her hand in his. "Hey, what's going on?"

Erin shook her head, wiping against her cheeks and eyes. "It's stupid."

"No it's not." Jay assured, "tell me what you are thinking about?"

Erin sniffled, her throat raspy as she caught her breath, "I feel bad."

"Because you stopped talking to Bunny?" Erin nodded and looked away, staring out the window. Jay squeezed at her hand as he continued, "Erin, you and I both know that she isn't good for you."

"But she's my mom, Jay. Would you stop talking to yours?" Erin paused, cursing herself silently, "Jay, I'm sorry-"

Jay sighed, "It's okay."

"I just wish things were better between Bunny and me. Not for the sake of me, but for him." Erin dropped her hand to her belly.

Jay leaned over the middle armrest, planting a kiss to Erin's forehead. His lips pecked at her strong cheekbone before capturing her lips in a brief kiss. "Even though he won't have the best draw in the grandmother department, he'll have a great one in the mother department."

Erin moved to caress Jay's stubbled chin, her tears forming again but she wore a smile. "You always know the right thing to say."

Jay smirked, kissing her once more, "I read it somewhere."

Erin shoved Jay's shoulder lightly, pushing back to his side, "You have a very big head, Halstead."

"That's what she-"

Erin quickly cut him off, "Don't you dare finish that, Jay."

Jay clamped his mouth shut, putting the car in drive. As they drove back home, Jay glanced over at Erin who couldn't help but laugh. It was nice to hear. Even nicer that he was one to make her laugh.

.

 _Two weeks later._

Jay unlocked for door and made an attempt to enter the apartment, only to be blocked off by two boxes stacked in front of the door. He pressed his shoulder into the door, a similar move he'd use to breakdown a criminal's door- with a little _oomph_ he was able to slide the boxes aside with the door.

After tossing his keys on the table in the hall and toeing his shoes off, he picked at the tabs on top box. More baby clothes. _Great_. Just what they needed. Chief Boden had mentioned he had a bunch of clothes and baby stuff for them. Erin of course, jumped at the offer even though Jay knew there was no way they needed more clothes.

"Erin!" He called out, lifting the first box up and setting it on the floor to inspect the bottom one. That one contained baby toys and books.

Jay stacked the boxes back together before using his foot to slide them down the hall and near the nursery.

"Erin, you home?" Jay poked his head into the nursery then into their room. He paused when he heard soft cries coming from the kitchen.

Erin slumped against the fridge, her hair, hands, clothes- everything- was covered in pasta sauce. She cried into her red stained hands, only caking her face with the tomatoes.

Jay approached, kneeling down next to her. He grabbed the dish towel that was hung over the oven handle to wipe her face, "What happened?" His voice was so soft and smooth.

Erin sighed deeply, "I...I just wanted to make you dinner."

Jay gave her a thin smile as he leaned in to give her a kiss. She kissed back with little effort as sobs still escaped her lips.

"Did you fall?"

Erin shook her head and glanced down at her stomach, "I misjudged the space between me and the counter."

Jay did his best to hold back laughter, "Let's get you cleaned up." he held Erin's hand, helping her off the floor, careful to not slip on the sauce. "Didn't Dr. Milford say to take it easy yesterday?"

They had an appointment yesterday, which was great because they did a 4D ultrasound. Their baby boy was looking perfect. Jay and Erin had an debate over who the baby looked like more. Erin said he had Jay's nose, which she adored. However, when Erin mentioned she was having shortness of breath and some balance issues. Dr. Milford advised Erin to rest. It was common during pregnancy to have shortness of breath, given the extra weight of the baby. The weight and adjusting to a growing baby inside of you can definitely cause some misjudgment in distance and your balance maybe be tricky.

Erin sighed and looked up at the pot and pans on the stove, "But what about din-"

"Don't worry about it. Go shower, I'll clean up in here." Jay pressed his lips to Erin's temple, tasting the saltiness of the sauce.

Erin waddled to the bathroom and discarded her clothes in the hamper near the door. She did her best to get the chunks of tomatoes from her hair as the water of the shower got hot. As she stepped under the spray she let out a deep sigh. The water relieving her aching breast for a moment. As she turned, she used the shower wall to brace herself, letting the water cascade down her back. Moving less under the water just so the pressure could hit her lower back where she was tense.

Erin heard the bathroom door open as she reached for her soap, she moved the shower door open just enough to see Jay dressing out of his dress shirt and pants. The unit had to attend court involving one the victims from the case they just wrapped up.

"How was the trial?" Erin washed up.

Jay undressed out of his undershirt and boxers, quickly opening the shower door and stepping in. "Victim doesn't have to worry about her attacker anymore." Jay pressed his lips to Erin's shoulder, his arms snaking around her to caress her belly, "How you feeling?"

Erin shrugged, "Tired, swollen, my boobs hurt." she moved her washcloth over her neck and chest.

"Only five more weeks." Jay mumbled against her skin. He stepped away, washing up himself quickly before he lathered his short hair with shampoo.

Erin washed her face, scrubbing gently to get the pasta sauce off. "Yeah. I know." A small smile appeared, "I can't wait to hold him."

Jay grinned and looked over his shoulder as Erin pressed herself against him. He felt her hands roam over his abs as her cheek pressed into the middle if his back. "Me too. But I am going to miss seeing you pregnant." he spun around to capture her mouth.

Erin kissed him back, her hands moving up to cup his jaw before linking her hands around his neck.

Jay let his hands rest at her side, his thumbs drawing circles over her belly. He deepened the kiss, easing Erin to press against the wall of the shower.

"Mmm..Jay," Erin moaned, breaking the kiss to catch her breath.

Jay ducked his head down to kiss Erin neck, his hands traveling.

"Jay.." Erin pushed lightly on his shoulders, causing him to look up. His breathing erratic and his eyes were lustful. Erin frowned, bringing her hand to his face, her thumb brushing over his lips. He placed a kiss to it, his gaze never leaving hers. "I'm sorry."

"For?" Jay questioned.

"We can't…" Erin waved her hand between them. "I'm not in the mood."

"Well I can help-" Jay muttered.

Erin shook her head, "I'm tired, okay?"

Jay sighed and nodded, "Okay."

They finished showering and stepped out, Erin used Jay for support as he helped her dry off and step into her sleep pants. Erin moved to sit on the edge of the bed, grabbing the cocoa butter from the night stand. She squirted some of the lotion into her hand, warming it in her palms before rubbing it into her belly and chest. She inspected her belly in the mirror for any stretch marks; she could only find a few under her belly, near her hips. But she didn't care. Jay didn't mind either. In fact, he came to love them. Erin would catch him tracing them at night, lightly tickling her as he did so.

"I found a jar of sauce in the cupboards. So we can still have pasta." Jay commented, looking over at Erin, watching her massage her stomach. His eyes traveled up the faint brown line over the center her belly before meeting Erin's questioning eyes. He grinned and turned away to go back to getting dressed.

"Sounds good to me." Erin closed the cap of the lotion and placed it back on the table. She fanned herself for a few seconds before she reached to pull her head into Jay's T-shirt he laid out for himself.

Jay sat down on the edge, reaching over for the shirt, "Where did my-" he looked over and glared teasingly at Erin. "You know, I had that out for me?"

Erin laughed softly, slipping her arms through the holes before standing up. She gripped Jay's shoulder, kissing him as she passed by. "Love you."

Jay swatted her butt with his sock.

"Hey!" Erin mumbled, arching her brow at her fiance with a stern gaze.

Jay smirked, quickly putting on his socks. He took two steps to Erin, his hands falling to her waist, he rested his chin ontop of her head, their height difference making it easy. "Love you too."

"Put a shirt on and let's eat." Erin said, moving from his grasp and headed to the kitchen.

.

Jay snored softly, he head buried in his pillow blocking the light from Erin's lamp on her night stand.

Erin couldn't sleep so she stayed up reading the files Jay brought home from the trial and going through her many browser tabs of birth. She watched a woman give birth in the car on the way to the hospital. The groans and grunts from the woman became louder before the shrill sound of the baby crying. Erin tried to turn down the volume, but Jay's head quickly shot up, looking around the room, confused and tired. He looked over to Erin who was sitting up, her back propped by her pillow and his second one.

Erin paused the video and looked sheepishly at him, turning the volume down on the iPad. "Sorry..I couldn't find the headphones."

Jay narrowed his eyes at her and glanced at the iPad. "What the hell are you watching?"

Erin turned the tablet to him, he shook his head and drop it back in to the fluffiness of his pillow, "She delivered her baby in the car."

"Kudos to her," he muttered, blindly reaching for the tablet case, flipping the lid close to cover the screen. "now, go to sleep."

Erin swatted his hand away to open the case, she tapped to open another video, watching the screen intently.

Jay left her alone, turning over to face away from the light as he pulled the comforter over him. What felt like a minute of sleep, Jay was awoken by Erin shaking his shoulder. He groaned, ignoring her.

"Jay..come on, get up." Erin shook him harder.

"Hmm...what? Why?" his voice croaked.

"I'm hungry," Erin said almost in a whine.

Jay rolled over, pressing his face into his pillow more, "Go get something to eat then."

"I really want Wendy's." Erin explained, poking at Jay's bicep. "Will you go-"

"No." Jay mumbled, falling back sleep. Or at least trying to until Erin poked at him again, sighing dramatically. He opened one at her, catching her pout.

"Jay...the baby really wants a Frosty," Erin pressed.

Jay sat up and moved from under the covers, grumble at every move. He looked over at the time, glaring back at Erin when he saw it was 2am. "Seriously?"

Erin arched her brow, arms crossed over her chest while resting on her huge belly. "Yeah, serious."

Jay scrubbed his face, waking up more. He found a shirt and slipped into it. "So just a Frosty?"

Erin grinned widely, "Fries too..oh, and their chilli."

Jay nodded sleepily, heading to swipe his keys off the dresser. "Be right back."

"Wait! I changed my mind, I'll have the baked potato instead of the chili. Sour cream and chives." Erin smiled and sung, "Thank you, babe."

Jay nodded and waved her off, leaving the house. He traveled not too far, grabbed Erin's food and picked himself up a bacon cheeseburger and ate it on the way home.

Once he got back home, he made his way straight to the bedroom, "Here's your food-" he stopped to see Erin asleep, the iPad still on her lap. Her head taking over his pillow.

Jay shook his head, setting the bag of food on the counter in the kitchen and placed Erin's Frosty in the freezer. He tiptoed back in to the bedroom, setting his keys down on the side table before sliding into bed.

Erin mumbled in her sleep before scooting to him, her head falling to his chest, her belly pressed firmly into his abs. Jay couldn't help but smile. She looked so peaceful. He didn't care that she had him get up in the middle of the night and drive for whatever cravings she was having. He might've complained but he wouldn't want it any other way. Jay was happy to see his girl happy. Even it was for a stupid chocolate shake that he could have made for her there. Jay pressed his lips to Erin's hair, "Love you." he said before falling asleep.

 **I know these were more of scenes. But I wanted to jump ahead so we get closer to the due date. I'm thinking baby Halstead will be here in the next two chapters.**

 **Anything you'd like the see while Erin is still pregnant? Name suggestions are still welcome. Let me know, please.**


	27. Chapter 27

**As always, thank you for all the reviews. I can't believe I have over 370 reviews! Honestly, it means the world to me to hear from all of you. With each review and PM I get, gives me motivation to do more.**

 **Now, here is the chapter everyone has been waiting for….**

 **ENJOY!**

Erin opened the oven door, peeking in at the sweet potato casserole.

"Quit open the door Lindsay, you're letting the heat escape." Jay commented, walking into the kitchen.

Erin sighed and shut the oven door, "The marshmallows aren't browning like in the picture." For the tenth time, Erin showed Jay the website photo on her phone.

Jay took her cell, shoving it in his back pocket of his jeans. "Relax. It will turn out fine." He pulled at her arms, holding her against him in a hug.

Erin wrapped her arms around his back, gently squeezing at his defined muscles. She pressed her cheek into his cotton T-shirt covered chest, inhaling the scent of his cologne. "You smell good." She breathed out.

Jay smiled, tilting his head down to place a kiss in her hair, "Thanks." His hands found her waist, moving to her back. He pulled her shirt up slightly to slip his fingers under the band of her maternity jeans and pressed his fingers into her skin, massaging her lower back.

Erin let out a groan, her hands gripping at Jay's T-shirt as she let her eyes shut. "Little bit harder?" She mumbled into his chest.

Jay applied more pressure, drawing circles on her sides with his thumbs. Erin relaxed, slightly swaying with Jay.

"Any contractions today?" Jay whispered, dropping his head to Erin's shoulder, pressing his lips to her neck.

Erin shook her head, "Just the one last night."

Jay sighed, his breath tickling Erin, causing her to shiver. She hummed when she felt his lips graze her pulse and trail up to her earlobe.

"Jay, stop." Erin tried to hide a giggle, pressing her face further into his shirt. She grabbed at the back of neck, tugging his short hair lightly.

Jay growled teasingly before pressing a wet, sloppy kiss to her neck and pulled his head away from her shoulder. He glanced at her with a smug, child-like grin.

Erin eyed him with a thin smile. She moved her hand from his hair to his reach into his butt pocket, retrieving her phone.

"I will flush your phone if you look at that recipe again.." Jay grumbled, moving one hand from Erin's back to grab her wrist softly, taking the phone from her and sliding it down the counter, out of reach.

"I just want it to turn out right." Erin protested.

Jay slipped his other his hand from her back to cup her cheeks firmly, bringing her lips to his in a slow, sweet kiss. Erin pulled away rather quickly, she let out a small wince.

"You okay?" Jay looked over cautiously, he touched her stomach but Erin grabbed his wrist, pulling it away.

Letting out a slow breath before responding, "That was intense," she bowed her head, staring at belly.

Jay nodded, "Let's go sit down." He led Erin to the couch, fluffing a pillow for her back. Erin sunk into the cushions, sighing at the softness, her hand perched on her belly. "Should I start timing them?"

Erin nodded, letting her head fall back into couch cushions, "I just wish it didn't take so long."

Jay sat on the edge of the coffee table, his hand massaging one of Erin's legs as she rested her feet on the table. "The baby is going to come when he wants to."

Erin lifted her head for a brief second to glare at her fiance before dropping it dramatically back down.

"You just relax. I'll finish up in the kitchen then I'll draw you a bath." Jay patted Erin's knee before he leaned over to press his lips to hers.

Erin didn't kiss back but that didn't stop Jay. He gave her a few pecks, finally after the third one Erin puckered her lips. Clearly, she was annoyed but Jay was only try make fun.

"I think I know where our baby gets his stubbornness from." Jay muttered as he made his way to the kitchen.

Erin let out a short laugh as her fingers danced across her belly. "Let's just hope he gets your sense of humor!" She spat back, turning her head to see Jay's mouth gaped open.

"Hey! I'm a funny person, Erin." Jay glanced in the oven, turning it off and taking out the casserole. "Our son is going to love my jokes."

"Whatever you say sweetie." Erin teased. She sat up a bit, to check on the casserole from a far. "Those marshmallows aren't brown enough…"

"Erin Lindsay!" Jay groaned even louder when he heard her giggle. He poked his head around the corner, waving a spatula in the air, "you better watch yourself or we're not going tonight."

"You can't uninvite me to Thanksgiving dinner. Hank has to do that, it's his house," Erin retorted.

"Ah true, but I can leave you here and go by myself."

"Yeah okay," Erin mumbled, "like you would go to Voight's by yourself."

Jay went to protest but couldn't think of anything. So he just stood in the kitchen, with a blank expression on his face.

Erin grinned widely in triumph, she gave Jay a raised eyebrow only to prompt him to roll his eyes.

.

Hank greeted the two of them with a rare smile. Jay gave his boss a small nod, moving past Erin to set the hot casserole dish down in the kitchen.

"Hey Kiddo," Hank glanced at Erin, helping her shrug out of her coat. "How are you feeling today?"

Erin sighed, smoothing out her sweater over her bump, "I don't think I'm ever going to give birth."

Hank let out a short laugh, "You will, just be patient."

Erin and Hank started to walk down the short hallway to the kitchen. They could hear Jay rattling pot and pans, most likely starting on the dressing for the turkey.

"That's what everyone keeps saying." Erin muttered, shifting to rub her back as she felt a sharp ache. She paused from taking another step further, reaching out to grab a hold of Hank's arm, jerking him back slightly.

Hank turned his head quickly, looking over at Erin who had shut her eyes and started to let out slow pants. He cupped his hand over Erin's, brushing his fingertips over the front of her hand. "Deep breaths." He coaxed.

Erin inhaled deeply followed by letting out a smooth breath of air through her slightly parted lips.

Jay appeared from the kitchen, his eyes widen when he witnessed Erin having another contraction. He took a quick look at his watch, noting it had been a little over twenty minutes since the last one. Jay saw that Hank had it handled so he stayed in the archway until Erin shifted and tilted her head up with her eyes slowly opening.

"You want to walk or sit?" Hank leaned in, whispering.

"Walking is a good idea." Erin looked over to see Jay leaning against the wall, he gave her a small smile which she returned. "Do you need help in the kitchen?" Erin felt bad leaving Hank to do most of the cooking.

Hank shook his head and waved Jay over, "I have everything under control, why don't you and Jay take a walk around the block. When you get back, dinner should be ready."

Jay stepped over to place his hand on Erin's lower back, pressing his lips to her curled hair. He helped her with her coat and gave Hank a nod as he ushered Erin outside, "Thanks Hank."

Hank grunted a welcome and waited for the door to shut firmly before he shook his head and smiled widely.

.

"That last one in there seemed to be stronger than before?" Jay commented, holding Erin's hand and swaying it as they walked slowly.

Erin nodded and glanced up at Jay, "Yeah it was." She held under her belly, as if she was supporting their son from dropping any lower inside of her.

"Should we call Dr. Milford?" Jay wondered, kicking a pebble down the sidewalk.

"I think we wait and see how far apart the next contraction is. She said yesterday I was only dilated to 3cm. So I have time."

Jay nodded and smiled, "I couldn't believe it when she said that."

Erin laughed agreeing, "Yeah, that was definitely a pleasant surprise."

Jay leaned in to kiss Erin temple, his arm wrapped around her shoulder, running his hand up and down her arm. "Just imagine, pretty soon we'll be a family of three."

Erin tilted her chin up, glancing at him with grin. Jay brought his lips over hers, kissing her slowly. He pecked the corner of her mouth pulling away.

"I love you." Erin said in a raspy growl.

Jay kissed her once more, a little harder that time. "I love you too."

Erin giggled softly, feeling Jay's stubble chin brush her forehead as he kissed the top of her head. "We should probably head back. Hank should have din-" Erin felt a contraction hit her. Almost hard enough to make her knees buckle.

Jay quickly moved to stand in front of her, his one hand resting on her shoulder for support and the other fell to her belly which was firm.

Erin hissed as she wrapped her arms around Jay's neck, bowing her head. "Oh god.." she breathed out, feeling the contraction hit it's peak. The pain bringing tears to her eyes as gripped at Jay's coat, desperately riding the wave of pain.

"Shh…" Jay rubbed at Erin's belly, counting the ticking seconds that had gone by.

Erin let out soft puffs of air, panting as the contraction neared the end. She held back a small sob. The wave of pain and shock taking a toll on her emotions.

Jay glanced down at his fiancee, his voice just above a whisper, "That was almost a minute long."

Erin nodded and looked up at him, her eyes glossy. "How far apart?"

Jay pulled his phone from his back pocket, he opened the app he downloaded to track contractions, "The one at Hank's was only five minutes ago."

Erin sighed nervously, "I think it's time."

.

Jay walked into the hospital room, he grasped a cup with ice chips filled to the rim in his hand. A smiled fell upon his face at the sight of Erin. She had her eyes close, her forehead covered with a cool cloth.

Jay placed the cup down on the bedside tray, shifting it away to make room for a chair. He tried to be quiet with his actions but the metal legs scraping against the tiled floor stopped that attempt.

Erin opened her eyes slowly, a small smile spread across her face, "How long was I out?"

"An hour." Jay leaned up to press lips to Erin's. "how are you feeling?"

"Better now." Erin mumbled.

Once they arrived at hospital and assigned a room, Erin was checked over. She was dilated to 6 cm and her contractions were getting stronger with each passing. The nurse asked if she would like an epidural to ease the pain. It would allow to rest up and save the energy to when the time was come to deliver. Erin agreed, she was grateful she did.

Erin titled her head to check to monitor of their baby's heartbeat. Strong and steady. She smiled widely as she placed her hand over her hospital gown covered belly. "I can't wait to meet you." her voice was soft, just above a whisper.

 _Thirty minutes later_

"That's it Er," Jay encouraged, supporting her dropping leg with one hand, the other being squeezed by her. "One more push, baby. One more."

Erin whimpered, dropping her head back against her pillow. "It hurts so much."

Jay leaned over, to wipe Erin's flushed face with a cloth. "You're almost done. Our son is almost here."

Erin closed her eyes, nodding slowly as she felt another contraction ripple through her. She leaned forward, tucking her chin to her chest and bearing down.

Jay watched as Dr. Milford assisted the birth, her hands cradling their son's head. "Keep going, Erin. He's almost here." Jay glanced at her then back their son as his body was birthed seconds later.

Erin collapsed back in the bed, tears streaming down her face.

"He's here." Jay beamed, leaning over to get a better look.

The nurse quickly cleaned him up. They used a suction bulb to clear his mouth and nose, prompting him to squawk a loud cry.

Relief washing over Jay and Erin at the sound of their son.

"Oh man," Erin whimpered in pure joy. Her chest heaved in and out as she caught her breath. She wiped her face with the back of her hand, wetting her dry lips with her tongue, "can I hold him?"

After Jay cut the umbilical cord, the nurse placed the baby to Erin's chest. Erin quickly wrapping her arms around the small body, rubbing at his back as a cries radiated through him.

Jay laughed softly, pressed kisses to Erin's hair, looking in amazement at their son. He brushed his hand over his son's head, "Look at his hair."

Erin tilted her head down, pressing her lips to the baby's soft brown hair. "He's so beautiful, Jay."

"So mom and dad," the female nurse smiled, "any names picked out?"

Erin stared lovingly at her son, brushing her finger over his chubby cheek. She looked over at Jay, "Yeah we do."

Jay grinned and turned his attention to the nurse. "Oliver Henry Halstead."

The nurse smiled to the new parents, jotting the name down in Erin's chart before allowing them some privacy.

"Wow." was all Jay could say as he stared at Oliver, "Hey there bud. I'm your dad.." Erin glanced up to grin at him, "and this lovely lady is your mom."

"We're so happy you're finally here." Erin hushed, slightly rocking their son. Jay nodded in agreement before he leaned over to capture Erin's lips.

 **I know this chapter was short. I hope it wasn't a let down. I didn't want to drag out the birth too much, yet I didn't want to rush it. I hope I focused on each part and meets everyone expectations.**

 **Some have suggested Erin getting hurt again. I didn't want to go through that again, especially with her so close to her due date. I'm not sure if that would be a possible scenario and have both of them be fine. But not to worry, there is many chapters I can write in the future with Erin being injured. Haha.**

 **Also a special thank you to my bff for helping pick the name Oliver. It means olive tree. Which relates to Lindsay, which means lime tree. I wanted to do something close to Erin's last name, because if she were to take Jay's last name, then she'd lose hers. So now, it sorta lives on with their son. Plus, Ollie is a cute nickname.**

 **Let me know you think.**


	28. Chapter 28

**Thank you all for the feedback in welcoming Oliver to the world. Now, onto the life of new parents. This should be exciting.**

 **Enjoy!**

Erin shifted a swaddled Oliver in her arm,careful not to wake him. He let out a little squeak but didn't open his eyes.

Jay was fast asleep in the chair that was in the corner of the room, his shoulders and half of his face covered by a baby blanket Kim bought the new parents as a baby shower gift.

Erin smiled and looked down at the little bundle. It felt so natural for her to hold a baby. She was scared at first but soon relaxed and her motherly instinct kicked in.

There was a small rapping at the door followed by footsteps. The first thing to come in focus was a bouquet of flowers and a teddy bear.

Erin gasped, "Who could that be?" she whispered to the baby, leaning forward, seeing a silver badge flash under the dimmed lights if the room.

Hank smiled, setting the flowers and bear down on a small counter, "Hey Kiddo."

Erin grinned widely, "Hi Hank."

Hank pressed a kiss to her forehead before he bent down, carefully pulling back the light blue blanket from the baby's face, "Check out that hair." he chuckled softly, tucking the baby back in, he flashed Erin a grin, "How are you doing?"

Erin shifted, reaching over to the remote to put her bed up more so she could sit comfortably. "Exhausted and really happy."

Hank nodded, "I know what you mean." his eye glanced across the room, his thumb hitched to the corner, "How's he doing?"

Erin looked over to Jay, a small chuckle escaped her lips, "I think he wore himself out over excitement."

"So give me the details on this little one," a small grunt came from the baby, his eyes fluttered open.

"Well," Erin rocked slightly, patting the baby's bottom, "Oliver Henry, weighs 7.9 lbs and is 21 inches long."

Hank smiled, "Henry?"

Erin lifted her gaze from her son, her eyes filling with tears as the corners of her mouth tugged upward into a smile. "It only seemed right."

Hank rocked forward, giving a small grunt, "That's a pretty big name he'll have to live up to."

Erin sniffled and laughed, "I think he'll be just fine. Plus, he can get all the tricks and tips from you." Hank nodded, glancing at the little guy. Erin looked up, "You wanna hold him?"

Erin didn't give Hank a chance to answer, lifting the snoozing baby from her chest, "Carefully of his head," she said placing him firmly in the Sergeant's arms.

Voight cradled the baby's head, bouncing slightly to calm Oliver as he started to stir. Erin adjusted her gown slightly letting out a yawn. "You should get some shut eye while he's asleep." Hank commented.

Erin hummed, giving a tired smile to the man she considered to be a father figure. "But what happens if he wakes up-"

"I'll be here." Hank said not looking up from the swaddled baby. "get some sleep." he ordered.

Erin didn't protest any further, shutting her eyes as her head lulled to the side.

.

A squeal from Oliver made her jump up, her eyes sprung open so fast as her heart thudded in her chest.

"It's okay..I got him." Jay said quietly, lifting his son from the clear bassinet.

Erin placed her hand over her heart, taking in large gulps of air and letting them out slowly. "He okay?"

Jay nodded, shushing him while he swayed back and forth, "Say, 'everything is just fine. I'm just the most happiest baby ever'" Jay spoke in a child like voice.

Erin let out small laugh, witnessing the two of them bond. Every little yawn or cry, Jay would respond. Whether it be with a mimicked yawn or a consoling kiss.

Oliver started to whimper and scrunched his face. His eyes shut tight and cheeks became red before he let out a louder cry. Jay lifted him, supporting his neck and head, to his shoulder. He carried his wailing son to the end of the bed.

Erin sat up, moving her feet to make more room. "Is he hungry?"

Jay shrugged, "Let me change him and we'll see." Jay carefully unsnapped the onesie they dressed Oliver in and pushed it up slightly revealing his diapered bottom.

Oliver's cries only got louder at Jay removed the soiled diaper, the cool air in the hospital causing discomfort to the newborn.

Erin leaned to the side table, taking a diaper and wipe out of the hospital bin.

"Hold on, little man." Jay spoke smoothly, "Dad's going to change you." He carefully wiped the newborn, locked his chubby ankles between his fingers to lift his butt and slide the new diaper under him.

"Make sure it's snug." Erin watched as Jay pulled the tabs tight enough around Oliver's waist so the diaper wouldn't sag or fall off.

"See. All done." Jay grinned, scooping his son up, placing a kiss to his nose before handing him off to Erin.

Erin cradled and peppered kissed over the baby's face. She smiled widely at him, still in complete awe and shock that he was finally there. When she glanced up at Jay, she saw he had a similar grin and stare.

A nurse entered the room with a smile. "How are we doing Mom and Dad?" she asked.

"Excellent." Jay said, while Erin nodded, concentrating on their son.

"Good. I'm Julie and I'm the lactation consultant here. I just wanted to stop in and introduce myself and see if you have any questions or concerns?"

Erin glanced up at the woman, shrugging, "None that I can think of right now."

Julie smiled and watched Oliver for a few seconds. "Have you tried nursing him yet?"

Erin nodded with a small sigh, "Yeah, but it didn't feel right."

"Would you mind trying to feed him now?" Julie asked, stepping forward as Erin sat up more.

Jay helped her pull the hospital gown off her shoulder, taking Oliver for a brief second while she slipped her arm of her sleeve. She took Oliver back and started to nurse him while she cradled him.

Julie watched and examined the feeding. She stepped over, titling Oliver's head slightly, his mouth latching on more. "Try to get him to latching more. Don't be afraid to guide him to your nipple."

Erin nodded, staring as her son fed. She shifted a bit, earning a grunt from the baby. Erin looked up at Julie, "How can I tell he's full?"

"He'll unlatch himself." Julie gives Erin a encouraging smile.

Erin gave her a small smile before staring back at her son. She brushed her thumb over his cheek as he suckled and started to shut his eyes five minutes later.

"I'll let you be." Julie whispered, "call if you have any more questions." She leaned over to give Jay a business card. "Congratulations."

Jay smiled and watch her leave before sitting on the edge of the bed. He stared at Erin and their son. "You happy?"

"Really happy." Erin rasped pressing a kiss to Oliver's head before carefully setting him inbetween her legs, not wanting to wake him. She slipped her arm back through her gown, draping it over her shoulder loosely.

"Good. Me too." Jay placed his hand over Erin leg, rubbing it softly.

 _One day later._

"Go slower," Erin demanded, peaking in the covered carseat at their sleeping son.

Jay sighed, glancing in the rearview mirror, "Sorry. I'm already going ten under, Er."

A groan slipped past Erin's lips when Jay drove through a pothole. "Jay!" She was still very sore. Any bump in the road, or even walking was uncomfortable. The doctor instructed to use ice packs or frozen gloves to relieve some of the pain from giving birth.

"Sorry." He frowned, "didn't see that."

Erin let out a slow sigh, watching at the traffic slowed. Jay pumping on the breaks as he made a complete stop. "How's Ollie?"

Erin grinned, her dimples deepened, "Still sleeping...he kind of looks like you. He does that lip thing."

"What lip thing?" Erin could see Jay raise an eyebrow from the rearview mirror.

Erin mimicked a lip quiver, almost pout. "That."

Jay laughed dryly, "I don't do that."

"You do, I've seen it." Erin retorted.

"You watching me sleep Erin?" Jay teased.

Erin shrugged but her smile said it all.

.

"Welcome home Ollie!" Jay pulled down the cover of the carseat, unbuckling him and lifting him in his arms. Jay placed a kiss to his son's head. The smell of _Johnson's_ baby shampoo lingered.

Erin came through the door, shutting it behind her as she entered quietly. She tip toed over, peaking at the baby, "Well, look who's up." She brushed her knuckle over the soft skin of his cheek. He puckered his pink lips, smacking them together. A small cry slipped placed but was muffled as she placed a finger in his mouth.

"I think someone's hungry." Jay laughed as Oliver sucked at Erin's finger rapidly.

Erin removed her finger, causing Oliver to cry even as Jay bounced him softly. She quickly got situated on the couch, lifting her loose fitting shirt up to expose her nursing camisole.

Jay placed the fussing baby in her arms. He watched for a moment as Erin unsnapped the flap of the camisole, exposing her breast. Erin adjusted Oliver, a grunt escaped past his lips as he tried to latch on. She pressed on her breast slightly making sure the baby was fully latched, his mouth covering her nipple fully but his jaw not locking. Oliver fussed louder, Erin sighed and adjusted her position.

"Just relax. Try holding him differently." Jay encouraged, reminding Erin of what Julie suggested during another visit.

Erin nodded, listening. She shifted only to make Oliver more impatient. A groan escaped her lips, tears welling up in her eyes. Clearly, lack of sleep, hormones, tenderness all over was too much.

Jay sensed the frustration and stepped back, grabbing the nursing pillow and scooting it under Oliver's body. His body lifted more evenly to Erin's breast, he rooted and started to nurse hungrily.

Erin winced and scrunched her face in discomfort. She felt the cushion next to her dip and looked over to find Jay staring down at their son. His gaze shifted to her, "You okay?"

Erin blinked her tears away as she hooked her elbow to cradle Oliver closer, relieving some of the tenderness, "Just still getting used to it."

Jay scooted closer, his lips found Erin's cheek and inched up to her temple, "You're doing great." He whispered.

Oliver grunted in agreement causing both parents to look down and laugh. Jay rested his hand over Erin's hand, which was pressed in Ollie's back, supporting him firmly.

"I love you." Jay kissed her once more, "both of you."

Erin tilted her head up to find Jay's lips. "We love you too…" She sighed contently, pulling away. "Daddy." she added with a smile.

"Don't get all sappy on me, Lindsay." Jay joked.

Erin rolled her eyes, "There's that sense of humor I adore." She glanced down at the hungry Oliver, "what do you think Ollie? Is your dad funny."

Oliver's eyes fluttered shut, his lips still puckered around Erin's nipple. Erin couldn't help but laugh, "Awe your jokes put him to sleep, Jay."

Jay gave her a flat line smile, "You're lucky you're cute Erin or I'd leave."

Erin _pffted_ at the comment, "Please, you're stuck with me now."

Jay and Erin both shared a lighthearted laugh, falling into the comfort of their home. Them and their son.

 **So, now that Oliver is here. What would guys like to see? How would you like for me go about in terms of time. Skip monthly in Oliver's life? Make chapters of milestones? Let me know in the reviews.**


	29. Chapter 29

**Thank you all who reviewed. I can't believe I'm almost to 400! Honestly, you guys are the best and great motivation. I want to apologize for the lateness of this chapter. I had some difficulty writing. Every idea I had, flopped. So this is what I finally came up with. Hopefully it's not all garbage.**

 **Also, I'm not sure what the updating schedule will look like from here on out. I'll be working extra hours and helping my client get settled into her house. Which is another reason why I'm late in updating. Packing is exhausting. So there might be some wait between chapters. But I'll try not to be too long.**

 **Enough about me. Let's see some cuteness!**

 **Enjoy.**

The soft glow of the living room lamp peaked through the bottom of the door. There was a faint sound of footsteps hitting that one loose wooden floorboard causing a squeak to ring through the quiet apartment. The squeak was followed by a cry of a baby and soft shushing of Erin.

The collective group of noises woke Jay from his sleep. He glanced over at his cell phone, squinting at the time. Letting out a small sigh when it was only ten minutes to three.

Jay pulled the heavy comforter off his body, shivering as the cool winter air hit him from the open window by Erin's side of the bed. Quickly he grabbed his favorite grey pair of sweatpants off the floor, pulled them up, letting them rest low on his hips. Jay scratched at his bare chest and yawned as he made a way to the living room.

He stopped and just stared. There she was; Erin, swaying their swaddled newborn son in her arms. Jay watched as she pressed her lips to his peach fuzz covered head. Trying to be quiet, Jay tip toed over.

Erin saw him out of the corner of her eye, she looked up and gave Jay a small, tired smile with her lips still firmly pressed to the baby's head.

Jay smiled back and walked over, resting his hand on the small of her back. He brought his chin down to nestle in the crook of her neck, staring down at his son, "Need some help?"

"No, I got it covered," Erin assured, rubbing her thumb over the baby's plump rosy cheeks, "he needed a diaper change and wanted to be held."

Jay nodded and gave his fiancee a quick peck on her cheek, "I can't believe he's a week old already."

Erin smiled, "I still can't believe he's ours."

Jay chuckled softly, "He is definitely ours." Jay gently tapped the newborn's button nose, "He has your nose."

"Yeah but those blues are definitely all you," Erin kissed the baby's head.

Jay drew circles on Erin's lower back as she swayed from side to side. The new parents watched in silence as the eyes of the baby drifted shut.

Erin shuffled to the bedroom, Jay followed in tow, watching as she leaned down and gently placed the sleeping baby in the bassinet that was set up in the corner of the room. Erin slid into the bed, pulled the covers over her body and let out a muffled yawn.

The week of limited sleep and twelve hours of labor definitely took a toll on the thirty two year old.

In Jay's opinion, Erin was even more attractive than ever before. Her face was slightly rounder, her breast fuller and she definitely had that new mother glow. He wasn't sure how she was able to get up every time the baby cried and still managed to walk without falling over from exhaustion.

"Quit staring Halstead," Erin grumbled, pulling her unwashed hair into a bun before resting her head deeply into the pillow.

Jay grinned and sank into the bed, "I can't help it, you're just so beautiful."

Erin rolled her eyes, "Mhm sure," she quipped as she looked down at her black leggings and Jay's Blackhawk's t-shirt she wore. "I feel gross."

Jay frowned a little at her comment, "Erin, I'm not lying." He scooted closer to her, his hand reaching over to cup her cheek softly, he turned her head and leaned in so his lips inches from hers. He placed a slow, sweet kiss; a simple kiss that said so much, even more than words could describe how much Jay loved Erin. "You will always look beautiful to me."

Erin pulled away, her cheek still pressed against Jay's palm as he wiped a tear that had fallen from her hazel eyes. She didn't even realize she was crying, or why she was but she settled down when Jay pressed his lips to her forehead.

Erin let out a sigh, moving a few strays of hair from her face as she rested her head on Jay's chest. Jay wrapped his arms around her tightly, covering his mouth as he yawned.

Just as the couple closed their eyes, the cries of their son filled the bedroom. Erin pressed her palm into Jay's chest, pushing herself up. She rolled over, untangling her legs from the sheets.

"Er, I got him." Jay stood up and walked around the bed to the bassinet, he smiled down at his wailing son. His plump cheeks red as his cries got louder. "Hey little man." Jay lifted Oliver up, cupping his head to his chest as he drew circles over his back. "Shh...I got you."

Oliver whimpered as Jay shuffled to the door, slipping out to let Erin get some shut eye.

Jay paced the length of the living room, walked around the couch and along the large windows of the apartment. The sky was pitch black as the night neared 4am. "I know you probably know this already, but your mom is an amazing person." Jay spoke softly, swaying Oliver. "She is so sweet and caring. A hell- I mean heck of a cop " He glanced down at his son who just stared at him. Jay flashed a smile, "You're lucky to have her." He shifted his gaze to the shut bedroom door, "I sure know I am."

.

The morning came rather quickly, the sun shining brightly through the curtains of the living room as Jay walked out of the bedroom with Oliver held against his chest.

After Jay finally got Oliver back to sleep, he woke up crying to be fed. Erin was having trouble breastfeeding so they tried to bottle feed the breast milk Erin pumped. Oliver at first wasn't having any part of the bottle, but with some determination and trickery, Jay was able to feed him. Leaving Erin to sleep in and most of the night.

"So little man what should we make for breakfast?" Jay asked as he swayed with the baby. He made his way to the kitchen, opening the fridge and glancing in. "We could do eggs and bacon." Jay looked down at his son, expecting an answer. He chuckled at the yawn that slipped past the baby's lips.

Jay tilted his head down to press a soft kiss to Oliver's head, his lips remained there as he kicked the fridge door shut lightly. Oliver started to fuss as Jay hummed softly and swayed thought out the kitchen.

"Shh..it's alright Ollie, dad has got you." Jay tried his best to console his son. He heard footsteps approaching as Oliver settled down, his crying stopped. Jay glanced up to find Erin watching them in the archway.

"Morning beautiful," Jay smiled, his eyes falling from her bed head hair to her leggings and Jersey. "Sleep well?"

Erin shrugged, squinting a bit and she stifled a yawn.

"You hungry?" Jay shuffled to place Ollie in the baby swing they had set up in the living room.

Erin barely mumbled a response as she made her way over to the coffeemaker. She placed a vanilla cappuccino K-cup in the machine and brewed her a mug of it.

Jay walked next to her, his hand moving to her hip, pulling in for a hug. He placed a kiss to her head, repressing a chuckle when she grumbled something about morning breath.

Erin looked up at him, a small smile appeared as she ran her finger over the stubble covering his chin. "You know what?"

"What?" Jay placed a kissed as Erin's finger touched his lips.

"I'm lucky to have you in my life."

Jay grinned, recalling the conversation he had with their son hours before. Without saying a word, he leaned over to capture Erin's lips in a passionate kiss. "Me too." he finally responded as he pulled away.

 **Once again, sorry for the delay. I hope I don't struggle as much on the next chapter as I did with this one. Leave a review on scenes you'd like to see with the linstead family. I know a few have mentioned Erin getting hurt..don't worry, I think I have something in mind for that. but that won't happen for some time. So, let me know what else.**


	30. Chapter 30

**Hey guys. I know, I'm extremely late on this chapter. I'm not sure what's going on but I just can't think lately. From work and things at home, my brain is fried.**

 **I hope this chapter is okay. Sorry if it gets jumbled in the flashbacks. I've tried three times to rewrite it and each time it comes out worse.**

 **Enjoy. Oh, and happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there.**

"It's not too hot, right?" Erin looked over to Jay who pulled his shirt over his head. She pressed her lips to Oliver's head as she rocked on the heels of her feet, rubbing the baby's bare back.

Jay balled up his shirt and tossed it towards the hamper near the bathroom door. He leaned over the edge of the tub, testing the spray of water coming from the shower head that was mounted to the wall with his wrist, "Nope. It's warm. Room temperature almost."

Erin nodded, glancing at her fiance's reflection in the mirror. "Maybe we should just stick to bathing him in the baby tub Hank bought us."

Jay let out a sigh, slapping his hands to the side of him in annoyance, "Er, just hand me my son."

Erin shifted Oliver so he could look over her shoulder as she walked the short distance to Jay.

Jay took Oliver from her, removing his diaper and cradling him. His one hand under the baby's bottom while the other cupped his head to his chest. Carefully Jay stepped under the water as Erin watched with the curtain open.

"Make sure the water isn't directly on his head." Erin informed but quickly stepped back as she caught Jay glare at her. "Right, sorry. You know that."

Jay looked down at his son, a smile spread wide across his face as they bonded. It was the first time he and Oliver bathed together. Erin got the pleasure of nursing their son, which was a great bonding experience. She even took a bath once or twice already with him. But Jay felt like he didn't have that one on one time with Ollie. Sure, they had their 'guy moments' of late night chats and diaper changes. But Jay wanted the intimate moments like Erin had with him.

So when he read that fathers can shower with their babies to create a bond, Jay thought it was a great idea.

Jay used a cloth to clean Oliver, who cooed as the warm rag came in contact with his skin. Jay could see Erin watching their every move, her hands running up and down her legs as she sat on the toilet lid like she was holding back from lunging and prying her baby away and bringing him back to her.

Not being able to take it much longer, Jay eyed his fiancee, "Come on, join us."

Erin shook her head, "No, no. It's your time."

Jay once again eyed her, raising a brow. "Ollie really wants you to."

Erin shook her head again, "Honestly. I'm fine."

"Erin Lindsay get your butt in here." Jay stated firmly but with a smirk that faded his tone.

Erin let out a small sigh as she stripped of her shorts and sweatshirt before joining her family in the shower. She was tired and didn't feel like fighting. Plus, she desperately needed to wash her hair.

Jay ran his hand over Oliver's wet hair as he stared over his dad's shoulder to see his mom's eyes. "You like the shower Ollie?" Jay asked, getting a coo from his son.

Jay turned his head slightly to kiss Erin's temple but she pulled away and bent down to grab her shampoo. Jay was about to question it but the distant sound of a cell phone caught the attention of him.

Jay turned his back against the spray of the shower, "You shower, I'll get him dressed and get the phone."

Erin nodded and watched as Jay stepped out the shower, threw a towel over Ollie and wrapped one around his own waist before heading towards the ringing. He placed Oliver down on the bed, retrieved Erin's phone from the nightstand and pressed it against his ear.

"Hello?" Jay greeted, drying off Oliver quickly.

"I thought I called Erin." Hank said.

Jay grabbed a diaper from the pack on the dresser along with the box of wipes. "Yeah, you did. She's in the shower. What's up?" He informed while squirting baby lotion in his palm, warming it in his hand before he rubbed it softly into Oliver's skin.

"I know you guys haven't been able to get out much, but I wanted to know if you'd be interested in dinner tomorrow night?"

Jay perched the phone on his shoulder, leaving his hands free to unfold a diaper, "What's tomorrow?"

"Friday December 15th." Hank provided.

"Dammit," Jay grumbled as Oliver peed all over himself. The second Jay removed the towel from him to lift him up slightly by his locked ankles ready slide the diaper under the baby's bottom. The cool air of the room hitting him.

Hank sighed on the other end, "I can call back if you want-"

"No, no. Tomorrow's fine." Oliver started to cry as Jay cleaned him with a baby wipe. "I gotta go." Jay didn't even bother to wait for Hank to say a response before he hung up and tossed the phone on the bed. "Shh..it's okay Ollie." he lifted his son to his chest, swaying as he grabbed a fresh diaper. "Alright let's try this one more time."

Jay placed his fussy son back on the bed, quickly dressing him in a clean diaper and outfit that Erin had set out before their shower.

Once both Jay and Oliver were clothed, they settled down in the living room, waiting for Erin. Jay placed Ollie in his swing while he took over the couch, sprawling out on his stomach with his face smothered into the cushions. He just needed a quick nap. Ten minutes will do him good. Just some time to rejuvenate; to give him an energy burst.

.

The sound of Oliver's cries woke Jay with a pounding heart and rapid breath. A state of panic washed over him when he jolted up and looked over to the swing to see Oliver was no longer in it.

"I got him." Jay heard. He turned his heavy, slumber clouded head to the side. Seeing Erin settling in the arm chair to nurse their son. The loud cries let up as Erin rocked Ollie in her arms.

Jay rubbed at his eyes, squinting at the cable box on the entertainment center. "How long was I out for?"

"Mmm…" Erin pondered, "half hour tops." she concluded, looking down at their son then back up to Jay. "You were out cold."

Jay nodded and grumbled a response. The last four weeks since Oliver was born had been a blur of feedings, diaper changes, countless hours of a fussy, crying baby. Lack of sleep and late night rocking session definitely caught up to him. To the man who could stay awake two days straight on stake out in the army and go without sleeping during deep undercover missions or when they were so close to finishing a case for Intelligence. Jay wasn't prepared for this kind of sleepless nights.

"Who called?" Erin asked, brushing her thumb over Oliver's faint hairs of his eyebrow, lightly wiping the dry skin from the baby's forehead.

Jay covered his mouth as he yawned, "Hank." He shook his head quickly, trying to wake himself up. "He wants us over for dinner tomorrow." Jay noted that Erin shifted and groan out of no interest. "Erin come on, he's called every time to invite us over and you've turned him even offered to stop in with food."

Erin shrugged, glancing down as Oliver nursed, "I just don't feel like company."

Jay shifted his gaze towards her, a small sigh escaped his lips. He didn't say anything. Mostly because he didn't know what to say. Erin had been off the last week or so. She was tired but even when she tried to sleep, she couldn't. Jay would wake up to her just staring off into the bedroom. Her mind was elsewhere but she never said anything when asked. All she would say was the usual _I'm fine_ or _Nothing, just thinking._

Jay thought she was just adjusting to be a new mom. So he wasn't too concerned up until Erin started to disconnect. From him and from Ollie. When Oliver would cry, she almost had to drag herself up to get him.

Jay was doing most of the diaper changing throughout the day and even a few feedings from when Erin would pump. He was watching her closely which didn't make her feel right. He got some snippy comment like, " _You don't trust me?"_ or " _Quit hovering I know what I'm doing."_

Even the few occasions they did go outside of the apartment, Erin was zoned out. She wanted to go back inside and lay down. Jay finally had said something when she wasn't eating.

 _Erin rested on the couch, her legs propped up on the vegetable as she stared blankly at the TV. Jay came home from the grocery store with bags hanging off his arms. After going through all the frozen and already made meals the unit was so kind enough to make for them, they finally needed to buy food again._

 _Jay decided to make one of Erin's favorite dish, Beef Tenderloin that night. Hoping it would get her to smile. He spent the better part of the evening making it. Only to have Erin take two bites of it and say she was full._

" _What's going on Erin?" Jay huffed, scraping her plate into a Tupperware container._

" _Nothing. I'm just not hungry." Erin avoided eye contact as she picked at a stain on her old T-shirt._

" _You have to eat. Oliver isn't-"_

 _Erin snapped her head up, "Oliver is just fine, Jay."_

 _Since she wasn't eating right, she wasn't producing enough milk to feed Ollie so they had to switch to formula when he was still hungry after a feeding._

 _Jay sighed, "I'm just concerned."_

" _Well you don't have to be. I'm fine. Oliver is fine."_

 _Jay shook his head, holding back a response. Erin rolled her eyes and slide off the stool, going to the bedroom and shutting the door firmly behind her._

 _Seconds after, Oliver cried in the corner of the living room as he was awoken by the loud bang. Jay sighed and walked over to him, scooping him up and snuggling him close. Oliver settled down by the soft kisses Jay placed on his head and swayed._

Erin lifted Ollie to her shoulder, patting his back to burp him. "I'll call Hank and tell him we said no."

Jay shook his head, "You can tell him, you're not going. But I'll go and take Oliver."

"Jay you can't just do that-"

"Yes, I can Erin." Jay groaned.

Erin stood up, clearly upset as she handed Ollie to him before she stormed off into the bedroom.

Jay pressed his lips to Ollie's head as he walked after Erin. He opened the door to find her sulking on the bed, her arms crossed over chest, tears threatening to fall.

"Erin, this isn't you." Jay mumbled sadly as he placed his son in the bassinet. By the time he turned back around Erin was up and headed towards the bathroom.

Jay made his way around the bed, grabbing at the knob of the bathroom just as the door clicked shut. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath in, "Erin. Don't lock yourself in there again." It was the second time that week, Erin had done it. She claimed it was because she needed some alone time.

Jay jiggled the door knob, it was locked..again. Stepping away from door, Jay sat on the bed staring it. Hoping it didn't take an journos convincing to get Erin to come out like it did last time. Jay glanced over at the clock on the nightstand. It wasn't even noon and his day wasn't looking out to be a good one.

 **Let me know what you think. I hope to get my mind in a better place and ready to whip out some new chapters soon.**


	31. Chapter 31

**Hey everyone! I know, I'm late again. I've been having issues with my teeth and sinuses which make it difficult for me to focus. But, I finally finished this chapter!**

 **I'll be gone from June 2nd-6th visiting my bff. I won't have internet access because I'll be in the country, so I can't update. But I can write. So my plan is to update again when I get back and hopefully one chapter before I leave.**

 **Enjoy and sorry this one is short/rushed. I'll try to do better next time.**

The tile felt like ice as Erin slid to the floor. Her bare legs flush against the floor while her head tilted up to the ceiling. She fought the urge to cry, balling her fist into the soft cotton towel that was hung on the rack. Her chest rose and fell as her heart pounded at an uneasy rhythm.

Erin's eyes burned as she held back tears. She wasn't aware that a person could produce so many tears. She'd thought it would end at some point. It was going on weeks now that she had these episodes. Normally, she did her best to save her tears for the shower with the loudness of the water drowned out her sobbing. But she had reached her breaking point.

On the other side of the door, Jay pressed his ear firmly against it, hearing a sob escape Erin's mouth.

"Erin," the door knob jiggled followed by a cry from Oliver. "Erin." Jay spoke firmly. His voice muffled through the wooden door. "We're out of formula. You need to watch Ollie."

Erin wiped her eyes and nose with the back of her hand before she pressed her palms to the floor and pushed herself up on her feet. Her gaze caught her reflection in the vanity. A heavy sigh escaped her lips as she took in the sight of her tangled wet hair. Her shirt stained from spit up and pants had a tear in them.

Jay stepped back as the bathroom swung open. He glanced down at his fiance, a sad smile and concern look fell upon his face.

Erin pushed passed him, not saying anything. She planted herself on the bed and flicked on the bedside lamp.

Jay turned around and cast a glare at her before his eyes settled on his son who fussed. The rocking of his swing, clearly not calming him.

"Will you rock him while I head out?" Jay asked softly, a hint of hesitation laced in to the question.

Erin just nodded, her focus on a book more so than him or their son.

Jay shuffled to the swing, scooping up Oliver in his strong arms. He placed a kiss ontop of the baby's head before setting him down in the middle of their bed, near Erin's outstretched legs. Jay tickled then infant's tummy before his fingers danced to Erin's bare feet.

Erin let out a groan and tucked her exposed feet under her, sitting Indian style. "We need more bread and cereal."

Jay sighed and nodded, "I'll be back."

Erin met his gaze just as he exited the bedroom. Then she shifted to Oliver who stared up at the ceiling fan. It spun on low, the cool air and soft humming lolled them to sleep.

.

"Jesus, Erin!" Erin jolted awake. The sound of Oliver crying loudly invaded her ears just as she blinked quickly to adjust to the sun peaking through the blinds.

Jay's navy blue shirt obstructed her view as he leaned over to take Ollie, who cries only got louder with every passing minute. "You don't hear him?!"

Erin shook the sleep from her head and shifted to sit up slightly, "I- I don't know. I'm sorry-" She looked at the clock, it had been an hour since Jay left. "I must've fallen asleep."

Jay swayed and bounced the baby. Erin knew he was pacing to relieve some of the anger he had bottled up. He didn't say anything but by the scowl and huffing he was making, Erin could tell he was mad.

"Jay-"

"Don't." Jay glared at her, "You have to talk to someone Erin. You can't keep doing this. It isn't healthy for anyone. You nor Ollie." Erin's mouth fell open but no words came out. "It's one thing to be tired, I get that. But being disconnected? That's not right."

"I'm not disconnected-"

Jay snorted at that, his hand patting at Oliver's bottom as he calmed the baby a little before a feeding. "You don't talk to Oliver. You don't want to leave the house or people come over-"

"Is this about Hank? Because-" Erin started.

"It's not just about Hank! Anyone...Burgess, Dawson. Your own brother wanted to come over and you turn him down." Jay stated, "Everyone is here to help. Let them help you. Us." he clarified.

Erin shook her head and moved to sit up more, "I don't need help."

"Well I do." Jay spat.

Erin glared at him, hurt and anger written across her face, "So, what? I'm a bad mother now?"

"I never said that." Jay said firmly, moving Oliver from one arm to the other while he fished through the diaper bag for a pacifier. He popped it in the baby's mouth and continued to sway.

Erin looked away, the tears came back and she felt weak. She scrunched the sheets in between her fingers and dug her heels into the mattress, frustration and sadness filling her.

Jay noted the shift in emotion and lowered his voice. His tone softened, "Erin. You're a great mother."

"But disconnected?" Erin retorted, tears falling freely.

"I just think it would help if you go see Dr. Charles. Maybe just getting out of the house and talking to someone- other than me- will help."

Erin sighed and glanced up at Jay, "I'm really trying, Jay."

Jay nodded, "I know you are." He smiled, "Ollie knows too."

Erin moved her gaze to Ollie, who looked back at her. The green pacifier wiggling as he sucked on it. His eyes red and his cheeks were stained with tears but his focus was on his mother.

Jay stepped forward, unsure still. "I have to make a bottle." He held out Oliver. Erin nodded, taking him and resting him on her chest.

.

Erin bounced her leg, staring down at her engagement ring. She glanced across the room to Dr. Charles, his focus on her.

She didn't like it. She didn't like the feeling of being watched. As if she was being interrogated or under some sort of microscope.

The click of his pen was the only sound heard after the ten minutes of Erin being there. Erin didn't feel like talking and Dr. Charles didn't press it. He knew she'd open up to him eventually.

"So how have you been?" Erin caught Dr. Charles's eyes over the rim of his glasses.

Erin shrugged, her eyes shifted to her bouncing leg, "Good I guess."

"How's motherhood treating you?"

"It's different but I think it's fine."

Dr. Charles clicked his pen again and placed it in his shirt pocket. "So there's nothing you want to talk about?"

Erin shifted, sighing loudly. "I just..I thought being a mom was suppose to be different. I feel like I should have those heart melting moments every time I hold Oliver."

"What do you feel?"

Erin let out a small groan. "I can't explain it."

Dr. Charles eyed her for a moment, his gaze stern but he wore a smile, "Try."

"I feel like I'm two different people. I have these great bonding moments with Jay and Oliver and then out of nowhere it's like I switch personalities and become sad and distant." Erin twirled her ring around her finger, brushing her thumb over the diamond. "Some days...I just don't want to get up."

Dr. Charles listened intently, pulling his pen out to jott a few notes. "Is there anything significant that causes these mood shifts?"

Erin shook her head, "No. I could be perfectly fine one minute and then just zone out." She glanced out the window before continuing, "Jay keeps saying I have Postpartum Depression."

"That is a possibility." Dr. Charles concluded. "You have lack of appetite, mood swings, fatigue..it's checks out as it."

"But I'm happy about being a mother." Erin pleaded as if she was defending herself.

"Erin," Dr. Charles said softly, "It's common. You had an issue with the hormone imbalance throughout your pregnancy which means you could very well have se issues after. Your whole body is trying to regulate itself. Just like you are adjusting to being a new mother, your body is trying to return back to what it once was."

"So what am I suppose to do?" Erin asked. "I don't want to be like this forever."

Dr. Charles gave her a smile, "You won't. I promise."

.

Jay walked through the living room, a laundry basket rested on his hip. He flung a few dirty socks in along with a onesie and Erin's sweats. Oliver was napping in the bedroom leaving Jay some time to pick up the place.

It was hard for Jay to let things be. He had it burned into his mind of being neat and orderly. So since the baby came along, the apartment was less looked after.

Jay would pick up dirty dishes and clothes, maybe even dust. But that was extant of cleaning being done with a newborn. The last time he remembered vacuuming was before Erin's gave birth. He would dare run the vacuum with the risk waking a sleeping baby or Erin.

Jay sat the laundry basket on the couch when he heard the front door open and shut he popped his head around the corner of the hallway, flashed a smile to Erin who shrugged out of her winter coat.

"Hey." Jay greeted.

Erin kicked off her boots and made her way over to him. Without saying anything she just wrapped her arms around him and pressed her cheek into his chest.

Jay placed a kiss in her hair and enveloped her in a tight hug, almost lifting her in the air.

Erin closed her eyes, inhaling the scent of his aftershave. "I love you."

"I love you too." Jay mumbled in her hair. He pulled away to press his lips to her forehead and then a peck to her lips. "You alright?"

Erin smiled, "I'm getting there."

Jay nodded, running his hands up and down her arm. "I'm here for you. You know that?"

Erin nodded, her eyes brimming with tears. "I'm glad you are."

 **Sorry if this was left off odd. I couldn't think of how to end and didn't want to drag out the depression. I want Erin to be happy and enjoy being a mom. Let me know your thoughts.**


	32. Chapter 32

**I know, I know. I promised this chapter weeks ago. First, after my vacation, my best friend decided to surprise me as we were heading on the way home. She had a suitcase packed and said she was staying a week with me. I was so happy! She hasn't been back to her home state in six years.**

 **Following our time together, I was informed of some personal family issues that I'm still trying to grasp.**

 **So let's just leave it as, I was distracted and didn't have the ability to write this chapter.**

 **But things have sort of calmed down...but they might be rocky with weeks to come.**

 **I hope you enjoy and forgive me for my lateness. I'll try harder next time.**

Erin lifted Oliver up from her chest so he was looking over her shoulder. She patted his back firmly when a gurgle and burp slipped passed the baby's mouth. "That was a good one." Erin spoke softly as she pressed a kiss in his hair, letting her cheek rest there for a moment. The scent of baby wash and milk invaded her senses.

"Hey champ." Jay smirked as he walked out of the bedroom, clipping his badge to his belt. He shuffled around the couch, crouched down to stare at his son. "You going to be good for your mom?"

Oliver stared wide eyed at his father, a small hiccup shook his body.

Jay leaned over the back of the couch, kissed his son's light brown hair and then the same to Erin's head, holding his lips there just a little longer. "You sure you'll be okay with me leaving?"

Erin nodded, tilting her head back slightly so Jay could see her smile, "I'll be fine. Besides, you have to work we need the money."

Jay sighed, standing up straight. "I know." He gave Erin a few quick pecks on the lips, his stubble tickling her. "Make sure you call if you need me."

Erin returned her lips to Jay's, drawing out the kisses a little longer than before. "You worry about work. We'll be fine here."

Jay flashed a small smile, likely trying to convince himself. He was nudged slightly by Erin who stood up, resting Ollie on her hip. "Go. Hank will be mad if you're late."

Jay kissed his family once more before he was guided out the door. Erin waited for him to make it to the elevator before she shut the door and locked it.

Erin resumed her spot on the couch, Ollie slowly drifting into his morning nap. She propped her legs on the coffee table, grabbed the remote and clicked through the channels on the TV, trying find something to watch. Coming up with nothing, she gently tossed the remote next to her and shifted her gaze down at her sleeping son. His small mouth gaped open and his perfect, pink, soft lips puckered in an 'o'. Erin smiled, bringing her finger up to brush along his cheek. He blinked slowly and caught her eyes before letting out a content sigh, his eyes fluttered shut again.

Erin could hear the winter winds whistle and rattle the fire escape railing. She had the perfect view of the white snow falling down. It was peaceful and quiet for being the morning. Normally, if the window was open you'd hear the sounds of heavy traffic, impatient drivers honking their horns as delivery trucks backed into the loading docks. But at this time of year, the salt trucks were really the only thing being heard. Most of the people out on the roads were smart and tried to beat the traffic and heavy snow storms that were sweeping in.

Erin glanced out the window, her eyes settling on the changing sky. Likely, the forecast was correct. Definitely a storm was coming. She just hoped it wasn't too bad. Last week they got over a foot of snow, barricading them the apartment.

Jay was grateful they still had some frozen prepared meals that people brought over from when Oliver was born. If it wasn't for their stocked freezer, Jay and Erin would be down to splitting a can of soup and half a bag of pork rinds. Clearly, the new parents were caught up with the baby to bother with going to the grocery store.

The wind picked up again, rattling the railing on the fire escape louder that time. Erin shifted her gaze from the outside to Oliver, whose small body jerked at the sound before a whimper escaped his lips.

Erin shushed as she got up to retrieve her charging cellphone from the kitchen counter. Ollie cried out fussy, his face redden as the tears fell uncontrollably.

"Shh...it's okay. It's just the wind," Erin sighed, bouncing lightly to calm Oliver. She swiped a pacifier from the dish rack where it had been sanitized and popped it in Oliver's mouth, his cries quieted as he sucked on it. "Better?" Erin brushed the fine hair on top of Ollie's head before leaning in to press a soft kiss there.

She made her way to her bedroom and gently placed Oliver in his bassinet. Erin turned the dial on his mobile, the soft lullaby and spinning caught his attention. A wide grin spread across Erin's face as she rubbed at the baby's rounded tummy, his little feet kicked at the touch, bunching his footed onesie.

Erin glanced over at the bed, the heavy fleece comforter and sheet strewn about. She was surprised that Jay hadn't made it before he left for work. He was always a stickler for tidiness. Erin had hoped being engaged to her and being a new father would make him relax a bit. It did in some instances. Laundry was still folded neatly but there had been some occasions where it was put away in the correct drawer or hung up in color coordinated spot in the closet. The bed however, was always made. Corners were crisp and tucked in place. The pillows were fluffed and placed neatly on each of the respective sides.

Erin creased her brow as she shuffled to the bed. She spotted a folded piece of paper tucked under her pillow. The corner of it just popping out to get her attention. She unfolded the tiny square, automatically taking in the scribble of Jay's handwriting.

 _I love you. You're amazing. Can't wait to come home to you and Ollie._

 _Love, Jay_

Erin smiled widely, her eyes scanning over the simple note again and again. It was an adjustment to see Jay go back to work. She so desperately wanted to be right there by his side. She was his partner, she always will be.

As if on cue, Erin's cell phone rang. She quickly picked it up and swiped to answer, praying that she was quick enough and it didn't wake Oliver.

"Hello?" she answered quiet as she glanced over at the bassinet and waited to hear her son squeak. Nothing. Just the soft lullaby faded as the mobile stopped spinning.

"Hey," Jay greeted back.

From the tone Erin could tell that he was smiling. She stood up, placed the note in her nightstand drawer before retrieving the baby monitor from on top of it. A clear image of Oliver appeared when she flicked it on and tiptoed out of the bedroom.

Erin flopped on the couch, a huff escaped her lips, "Got your note," the corners of her mouth tugged up into a smile.

"What note?" Jay held back a short laugh only imagining the eye roll Erin just did.

"Ha ha," Erin retorted, her eyes shifted to the video screen of the baby monitor. Oliver little stomach rose and fell with each calm breath he took. His beautiful long lashes fluttered as he dreamt.

Jay shrugged off her faux laughter, "I do love you."

Erin grinned, "love you too. The note was sweet Jay." She shifted to curl her leg under her so she was sitting on her foot, while her elbow rested on the arm of the couch. "How's your day going so far? What's the case look like?"

"Voight stuck me at my desk to review the case notes. Some druglord distributing bad H. Two dead." Jay rubbed at his temple, his eyes scanning over the mugshots of accomplices.

Erin sighed, grimacing at the losses. "You guys got a lead yet?" She twirled at the loose threads on the throw blanket that was tossed over the back of the couch. Erin could hear Jay roll back, likely pushing his chair out and heading for his noon coffee break. The sound of the glass coffee pot proved her right.

"Not yet." Jay sipped at the stale coffee, he clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth, clearly the filter had slipped, leaving a mucky, gritty taste from the coffee grounds, "This coffee sucks."

Erin laughed, "Doesn't it always?"

Jay shook his head, "Not when you make it."

Erin frowned a bit, a pout almost. "Jay-"

"Don't." Jay pressed, a sadness to his voice, "I know you are doing the hardest job there is. I'm just saying it's different here, I miss you."

"You've only been gone for fours hours."

Jay grumbled, dumping his coffee down the drain. "Fours hours that I could have been home with you and Ollie."

Erin shrugged, her fingers still pulling at the blanket. She sighed and patted down the fraying edge, "You love your job, Jay. Don't be like that."

Jay didn't say much, a little grunt of acknowledgement slipped past his lips. He scrubbed at his face, his fingers brushing over his stubbled chin. "I do love it here. I just like it better at home-"

Erin sat up straighter, glancing at the monitor again. "Don't distract yourself, Jay." She didn't need him thinking about them when he was suppose to be focusing on the case. A distracted cop is never a good one.

"I know." Jay stated, pulling himself away from the counter in the breakroom. He shuffled back to his desk and planted himself in the rolling chair. His eye remained on the file in front of him as he tried his best not to look across at the empty desk- her desk. "Just give Ollie a kiss. I'll call you later."

"Be safe. Love you." Erin said before Jay hung up.

.

Erin zipped up her puffy brown coat. "Okay, so here's the plan," she looked down at her bundled up son. She dressed him in his Blackhawks beanie that Kevin bought him. "We will go out to grab some groceries so we can make dinner. Sound good?" Erin chuckled to herself, staring into the carseat at Ollie who was milk drunk.

Erin grabbed a small baby blanket from the hamper she had been meaning to put away. She made sure to cover the carseat, so that any wind wouldn't get to Oliver. The last thing she needed was a sick baby to take care of by herself. She checked over the apartment, making sure the light and televsikn was shut off. Then she glanced into the rather large diaper bag, looking over at the extra diapers and clothes for Oliver she packed. Even tossed in a shirt for her. Just in case Ollie threw up or there was a mishap in changing a diaper.

Just as she flung the bag over her shoulder and took the carseat in the opposite hand her cell rings. She sighed and set the carseat down, followed by the bag. As she dug through her heavy winter coat pockets, pulling out her keys then phone, she answers, "Hello?"

"Kiddo, don't be alarmed-" Hank said firmly.

Erin felt her heart race, "What's going on?"

"There's been an accident."

 **Okay guys. Let me know what you think. Also, thanks for the support you've given me. Couldn't have done this story with out you all.**


	33. Chapter 33

**Hello! Thank you all for the feedback. I can't believe I've reached 450 reviews. I remember when I first posted this. Never knew it would be read by anyone. So, thanks a bunch.**

 **I'm still getting back into the swing of writing, so bare with me during the slower times. Life has definitely threw in some bumps, but I'm figuring out how to deal with them.**

 **Also, I've been helping out a friend** _ **Kath086**_ **with editing her CPD story. Check it out. It's called: Take Your Time**

 **Anyhow, enjoy!**

" _There's been an accident."_

Everything was quiet and it felt like time stood still. Cars passed by in a blur on the white, snow covered streets. It was as if she was under water. Sounds muffled and became unrecognizable.

As Erin sped up towards the entrance of the hospital, a gust of wind and commotion surrounded her. Her hand tightened around the handle of Oliver's car seat. Never wanting to let go.

The fast pace of the emergency room nearly brought her to the ground. Her knees became weak and buckle, before she had a chance to let her body fall with gravity and emotion, a hand gripped her elbow.

"You alright, Lindsay?" Kevin moved his tight grip from her elbow to reach around his back, he removed the diaper bag from his broad shoulder. He grabbed her hand and led her to a chair in the small waiting room.

Erin looked up at her friend and just shook her head. She would never be alright without knowing what happened. All she knew was that there was some sort of car accident. There hadn't been any word since Voight called her. All he told her was that Kevin should be there in a few minutes to pick her up and take her to Med. So that's where they sat...waiting.

A whimper came from the floor where Erin had set down the car seat. She glanced down at see a bright eyed Oliver gazing up at the tiled ceiling.

"Little Man good?" Kevin leaned over to get a better view, a small smile crept across his face. "I see he's stylin in the hat I got him. He's got good taste."

Erin reached down to adjust the beanie before lifting Oliver into her arms. "Jay loves the hat," she mumbled as she pressed her lips to the baby's head.

Kevin sighed, his hand moved to Erin's knee and gave it a gentle squeeze. His dark brown eyes fixated on the sterile white floor.

The sound of the doors to the ER opening caused everyone to look at the whoever entered.

Hank walked through but before he could spot them, Erin rushed over. Her hand cupped Oliver's head as she practically flew into Hank's arms.

Hank embraced her momentarily before he caught glance of Atwater approaching.

"Any news yet Boss?" Kevin asked.

Voight tilted his head back towards the chairs and took a few long strides to them.

Erin was too shaken up to sit. So she paced along a row of chairs, her lips never leaving Oliver's head.

"Dawson just got some cuts and bruises. Should stay a day for observation."

"What about Jay?" Erin near whispered as she stopped in place.

Hank scrubbed at his face, "He's in . Rhodes is taking care of him."

Erin bounced Ollie, her eyes avoided Hank. She knew that if she saw him hurting she would break down. Literally, fall to the floor. "What happened?"

Hank eyed her for a moment, "The roads are really icy out there. Some guy jumped a curb and collided with them." There was silence that filed the waiting room for a brief second. Everyone taking in the information. "Halstead got the blunt end of it." Hank near mumbled.

Erin could feel her eyes well up. She bit at her bottom lip, nearly drawing blood at that point. Hank could see her crumbling so he pulled back over to the chairs. She reluctantly took the seat. Oliver fussed a bit as Erin stopped the bouncing motion. He quickly quieted when Erin placed him on her legs and swayed them.

Erin was trying so hard to keep herself together. But the waiting was that hardest. In and out went doctors. Nurses scribbled in patient's chart, hung around the nurse's station, but none of them came over with an update. They had been there for an hour, just sitting.

Oliver fussed and squirmed, breaking the silence of the three adults. Erin brought her attention to him, knowing he was likely due for a feeding. She retrieved a bottle from the diaper bag before grabbing a burp cloth.

Hank smiled at Ollie, hooking his finger around the baby's foot, giving it a little shake. "How was your first day with him?" Hank asked, his eyes shifted upward to Erin.

Erin shrugged, popping the bottle into the baby's mouth.

Hank sighed and scrubbed at his face, "Kid, you know he's got the best doctors with him."

.

Twenty minutes later, Dr. Rhodes pushed through the double doors of the OR. He pumped hand sanitizer into his palms as he approached the small waiting area.

Atwater was the first to catch his eye, he shifted in his chair. his elbow nudged Lindsay's arm gently. Her head slipped from her hand while she rested a bit. Oliver had been placed back in his car seat for a nap.

Erin jolted awake, her head immediately shook from sides as she looked around the room. She stood up quickly, meeting Dr. Rhodes in the middle, "How is he?"

Dr. Rhodes held his breath a beat, giving Voight a moment to join them. He spoke softly, "Jay is recovering. We were able to repair his lung that was punctured by two broken ribs." A gasp escaped from Erin's lips before Dr. Rhodes continued, "His right leg is broken and arm is fractured."

"But he'll be fine?" Erin needed reassurance.

Connor gazed over to Voight who had reached down to take hold of Erin hand. She gripped it tightly, his knuckles almost white. "I think you should sit down."

Erin knew all too well that whatever Dr. Rhodes was about to say wasn't go to be pleasant. As she planted in the chair, she felt her heart race in anticipation. She swallowed the lump in her throat as she was handed an image of a X-ray. A clear outline of the brain.

Dr. Rhodes used his pen to tap at a clouded white splotch on the image, "See that white area...that should be grey."

Erin studied the image, she turned it from side to side, held it up close to get a better look before she dropped it back down on her lap. "What does it mean?"

"Jay has some swelling due to the impact." Dr. Rhodes informed. His eyes softened and he let out a heavy sigh, "He hasn't woken up yet."

"Oh no." Erin shook her head repeatedly, "No, no.."

"Kid, you have to calm down." Voight moved to hold her hand. But Erin was quick to pull it away, "Erin-"

"How can I be calm when I'm being told my fiance is unconscious?!" Erin stood up, her foot accidentally nudged the car seat,causing Ollie to jerk awake. He cried out before being lifted by Kevin.

Hank stood up, "Get some air, Erin." he said leading her outside.

Will Halstead was walking in as Erin was heading out. He noticed quickly at the shock and sad look on her face. His hand moved up to her shoulder, "What's wrong?"

"No one called you?" Erin frowned.

Will shook his head, "I had my phone off in a locker at the gym..what's going on? Is Ollie okay?"

Erin broke down, gripping to Will for balance. "It's Jay." she mumbled. "I can't lose him."

Will held her, his mind wandering. "He's going to be okay. He's strong."

 **So this wasn't my first idea for this chapter. But I kind of like how it turned out. plus, I have an idea of where I want this to go.**

 **I hope you liked it. Let me know what you think.**


	34. Chapter 34

**Thank you for the reviews and comments. I have to say this chapter was a tough and fun one to write. I'm hoping that this means I'll be able to get out more chapter soon and my writers block is fading. I'll keep trying.**

 **Enjoy**

Erin just stared at the door handle. She had reached for it for the third time in a row. It wasn't that she didn't want to see Jay. Because she did, more than anything. She just didn't want to see him like that. Unconscious, weak..broken.

It had taken her ten minutes to walk down the hall. Every step she took, she felt like she needed to turn back. The air was thin, her head heavy. She wasn't ready to face reality. It was bad enough she was in the hospital. The last time she was in a hospital she was giving birth. it was a beautiful memory. This time it wouldn't be.

Then she took a step forward, her hand extended out to grasp the metal knob. "Just turn the handle Erin." She whispered to herself. The lights in the hallway were shining bright, causing a flicker to bounce off the diamond that was set in her engagement ring. She caught the shimmer and her eyes began to water.

"Erin," Hank's voice was heard behind. Erin knew he'd been standing there since she told him in the waiting room that she was ready to see Jay. Even though she firmly said she didn't need company, he followed. Hank just watched from down the hall, leaning against the wall.

Attempting to pull herself together, Erin wiped at her eyes and dropped her hand from the handle before she glanced over to Hank.

Hank moved from the wall, taking a few short strides to get over to Erin. Once near, his hand reached up to give her shoulder a squeeze. She sighed deeply, biting on her bottom lip to hold back tears. But she failed the moment she felt Hank pressed his lips to her forehead.

Erin turned more into the comfort, stalling herself even more. But Hank allowed it for a few seconds longer before he stepped back and moved his hand from her shoulder. He gave her a small, thin, smile as he leaned over to pull the door handle to Jay's room down. The click of it brought Erin to snap out of her emotions. Her eyes darted to the now open door.

"Go," Hank ushered, returning to lean against the wall near by.

Erin pressed her palm against the wooden door, pushing it open just right for her to slide in. She gave Hank a quick glance before she shut the door behind her. With a sharp inhale and slow exhale, Erin moved all the way into room. Taking note that the bathroom wasn't too far in case her emotions caused her to become ill.

The first thing she saw was the stark white sheet they used to cover him. Barely any skin was shown until she caught a glimpse of his hand. With another step forward, she reached out to grab it. It was warm and calloused like she remembered. She squeezed gently, waiting for him to respond. Hoping he'd squeeze hers back. It was their thing. A little gesture to know things were going to be okay.

Erin shifted her eyes up towards his face. Even with the bruises and small cut under his right eye, he was still Jay.

She let go of his hand to run the back of her finger over his cheek, his stubble scraping her knuckles. She couldn't help but smile because just before all this, she teased him that he was becoming a mountain man in the short month he had off. During paternity leave he hardly picked up a razor. But Erin didn't mind. She in fact loved him with facial hair. She loved everything about him.

He need to know that. With a peck on the cheek, Erin softly said through the tears, "I love you, Jay." she pulled back and took his hand again. Gave it another squeeze and just waited.

Again, she squeezed. Nothing.

"Jay, baby, you have to wake up." Erin said firmly, frustration and hurt clear. "Oliver needs you. I need you." her hand flexed around his in a plea.

.

"You want coffee?" Voight asked, peeking in at Oliver, who slept in a bassinet in the corner of the room. Will was nice enough to snag him one from the maternity ward. Seeing that Erin had no intention of leaving. No point in having everyone suffer.

Erin sat up from the chair she pulled up to the side of Jay's bed. She shook her head, her eyes briefly leaving the monitor above the bed to meet Hank's eyes.

"I'm going to run out and grab a bite. Want anything?" Hank pressed, his focus too went to the monitor. He let a grunt slip past at the sign of no changes.

"Not hungry." Erin mumbled.

Hank sighed, running his hand over his mouth, "You gotta eat something. You're going to make yourself worse."

Erin ignored him. Her gazed moved over Jay's features. She didn't have to look to know Hank was glaring at her. Her shoulders slumped and she bowed her head a bit before bringing it up straight. "Fine. Where you going?"

"Thought I'd stop in at KFC," Hank smiled when Erin nodded, knowing how much she loved chicken, "Original recipe with mashed potatoes?" Erin again nodded. Hank gave Ollie another quick glance and brushed his thumb over his soft cheek before walking out.

Will brushed past him as he headed into the room, they exchanged a nod as a greeting before parting. "Anything new?"

"No." Erin sighed. "Why isn't he waking up?"

Will moved over to examine the monitor, his finger brushing over his brother pulse. He shined a light at Jay's eyes before taking in the aftermath of the accident. "Everything still looks good. It just takes time.." Will shifted to look over at his sister in law. In the hours if being in the hospital, it was as if she aged years. The bags under her eye were dark from lack of sleep. Plus, the crying didn't make it any better. And having a newborn to take over the attention.

"You want me to see if I can hunt down a gurney?" Erin's eyes followed as will pointed to the small couch against the wall at the foot of the bed, "Couch is like sleeping on bricks."

Erin shook her head, "No that's sweet of you but I'll just stay here." She moved around in the chair so she was sitting with her feet tucked under her.

Will just shook his head at her stubbornness. "Jay warned me you were stubborn."

Erin snorted and rolled her eyes, "Please, he's the stubborn one."

Will nodded at that as a smirk danced across his face, "I could tell you some stories."

Erin smiled sadly, looking down at her fiance. She took his hand in hers, her thumb drew circles on the front of it.

Will knew it was tough. Hell, it was tough for him. To see his baby brother in a hospital bed. But if anything, he knew that his brother was a fighter. He had hope.

"I'm going to get out of your hair." Will announced, patting Jay's shoulder before walking around the bed. He gave Erin's shoulder a gentle pat, "You have them made me if anything changes."

"I will." Erin said. She moved her other hand to cover Will's, "Thanks for everything."

Will shrugged, "It's my job as a brother. Family has to stick together." He glanced over at his brother once more before he left.

.

Erin lifted the baby blanket up to peak at Oliver as he nursed. His eyes so big and blue, just like Jay's, were staring up at her with such love.

After picking at her food, Erin changed Oliver's diaper and dressed him something more comfortable. They settled down for their nightly routine. Erin rocked slightly, patted Ollie's bottom as she hummed softly. She fought sleep herself, afraid she might miss something.

Erin yawned and lulled her head back against the chair, her eyes looked over at the clock. It had been seven hours since she arrived at the hospital. It was almost getting to be midnight.

Erin glanced out at the window. The dark sky was illuminated by the moon, there was flurries twirling about. She let out sigh, "Come on, Jay." she whispered.

A set of footsteps were heard and Erin felt the need to hold Oliver closer. She tilted her head back to find Mouse standing awkwardly in the archway.

"Sorry, I can- I can come back." Mouse stumbled.

Erin adjusted the blanket around her shoulder more, double checking she was covered. "It's fine Mouse, come in."

With his hands shoved deep into his pant pockets, he walked over to the foot of the hospital bed. His eyes took in the sight of Jay. A frown appeared across his face as he looked over at Erin, "How are you?"

Erin gave him a half smile. Her attention was focused on Ollie at the moment. She lifted the blanket an inch, spying on her son. His eyes drooped as he suckled. His little pudgy hand rested against her warm skin. Tiny red indentation were left as his almost razor sharp nail dug at the flesh of her breast. She dipped her hand under the blanket to adjust his latch and to give him a finger to grasp. His fingers curled around her, his eyes shifted up to meet hers.

She smiled down at him, a sad one. He looked so much like his dad, it was too much to bear at the moment.

"He doesn't look that bad." Mouse muttered.

Erin glanced up, forgetting Mouse had been standing there. "What do you mean?"

Mouse walked closer to Jay, his eyes flickered at a memory invade his mind. His mouth fell open, out of reminder and a sharp inhale he sucked in.

"Mouse?" Erin snapped her finger, getting his attention. "Mouse!"

Mouse quickly recovered and stood up, unfazed. "I just...it's not the first time seeing Jay like this." Erin arched her brow at that, he noticed and continued, "When we were in the Rangers...Jay, he uh, he got hurt real bad." Mouse glanced over at Jay, his eyes took in all the bruising and scrapes. "It was our second tour. He was in the hospital for three days..like this."

Erin frowned, "He didn't tell me that. Never mentioned it."

Mouse sighed, "Jay- he..We don't talk about that time much."

Erin understood that. She didn't like to talk about her past much. In fact, she hated how much people knew about her. But it was out there. In files, computer systems. Plus, people talked.

"But he'll come to." Mouse assured. "He has a lot to fight for."

Erin shared a smile and stood up, adjusting her clothing under the blanket that was still draped over her shoulder. Ollie gurgled a burp once done feeding, his eyes heavier than before. Erin shuffled past Mouse to put Oliver down in the bassinet.

Mouse looked over at her with a nervous smile spread across his face, "You mind..giving me.." his eyes went to Jay, is best friend, "I mean us, a minute alone."

Erin nodded, "Yeah, sure..I'm going to see if I can track down a newspaper. Read him the sports."

Mouse chuckled, "Make sure it's anything but the Cubs."

Erin smiled, "I will. You okay with keeping an eye on Ollie?"

Mouse nodded firmly, "I'll watch the little fella."

"Thanks." Erin gave Mouse's shoulder a gentle squeeze before walking out of the room.

Mouse waited for her to leave his eye sight before he moved closer to Jay. His eyes scanned his body, finding his hand to hold for a brief moment. "Hey, Man. You told me that if there was ever time you were being stupid and could lose everything, that I'm suppose tell you to snap out of it...so do it. Snap out of it, wake up." Mouse sighed deeply, his voice cracked, "You have to..you got a family now. Lindsay will kick my add for lying to her about you pulling through. Come on dude. We fought harder things..seen some heavy stuff."

Mouse heard the door open, his eyes went up to the short hall as Will came into view. The two shared a look before the room filled with a cry from Oliver. Mouse was startled and unsure of what to do.

Will rushed over, noticing Ollie had spit up on himself. He lifted him up, taking a wipe from the couch and cleaned him.

Erin came in and stepped in, "What happened?"

"Just spit up," Will assured, wiping down his nephew's face and bassinet. "You got a clean onesie?"

Erin nodded, shuffling through the diaper bag.

Mouse glanced from the chaos of Ollie's mess to the monitor. A spike in the lines, followed by a subtle beep caught his attention, "Uh guys.." he waved his hand in their general direction.

Erin was consoling Oliver as Will dressed him, "What Mouse?"

"Something's happening." Just as the words fell from Mouse's mouth, Jay's eyelids began to flutter.

 **So how was it? Let me know what you want to see and if you like the way this story is heading.**


	35. Chapter 35

**Hello everyone! I know, I know, this chapter was suppose to be posted weeks ago. Just when life was decent it decided to turn once again. Which is why I haven't updated. Most of my writing has been put on the back burner, but thankfully I had some free time to write this. Depending on how I feel and life goes..I hope to get into some sort of writing schedule again. Can't guarantee it'll be a weekly update, but I'm shooting for at least a two week span. Hope everyone understands.**

 **Thank you for the feedback and concern. Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

Time stood still. Everything slowed to snail's pace. Jay opened his eyes, his brow creased in confusion when he found three set of eyes staring at him. Everyone's mouth fell open in shock and anticipation.

He watched as Erin stood up quickly from the couch, reaching out to take his hand. "Jay? Can you hear me?"

Before a response, Will followed over to the bed. He took his flashlight out of his pocket to move it from one eye to the next. Jay's pupils reacted to the light as normal, Will smiled. "Hey man."

"Hi," Jay grimaced as he tried to sit up straighter, pain written across his face as he let out a groan.

"Take it easy." Erin brought her hands to hover near his shoulders, easing him to lie back down. He let out a defeated noise and slumped back into the pillow.

"What..what happened?" Jay croaked, his mouth so dry.

"Car accident." Will informed, taking a quick glance at the monitors, reading off the levels in his mind.

"You remember that?" Erin asked, she hoped Jay hadn't noticed her eyes watering. Or the way her voice had just cracked. She just tried to hide the pain behind a smile.

Jay nodded slowly, "Dawson?"

"He's fine." Will assured. "You just rest, I'm going to get Rhodes and have him check you over." With that Will left in search of his colleague.

Erin hesitantly stepped closer to her fiancé, her hand reaching out to grab his hand. She gave him a gentle squeeze with a sad smile apparent across her face.

Jay's eyes flickered from the ceiling to her, his mouth fell open slightly as he inhaled. "Hi beautiful."

Erin practically fell into his chest as she felt him squeeze back. "Jay…"

"Shh.." Jay ushered, shushing in her head, pressing his lips to her hair. She smelled amazing. Like he remembered.

"I didn't think you'd-" Erin mumbled into his hospital gown, wiping her tears against the sterile, pale blue fabric.

"Erin. Stop." Jay stated firmly. He carefully shifted to bring his hands to the side of her head, forcing her to look up at him. He frowned as he noticed the sadness and hurt expression on her face. Her eyes were watery and dark bags underlined them. He could tell she hadn't slept in the time he was unconscious. "Everything is going to be fine."

"You have a broken leg and ribs-" Erin went to protest but was cut off by Jay's lips pressed against hers. She sighed momentarily before kissing back.

Jay pulled away, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. A smile crept across his face.

Erin mustered a smile with her eyes still expressing worry and sympathy.

"Jay," Dr. Rhodes greeted as he brushed past Mouse who stood back near Ollie. "Glad to see you up."

"We all are," Erin pointed, her gaze never leaving Jay.

Dr. Rhodes nodded and smiled before he started the routine check up.

.

The next three days were filled with Erin juggling her recovering fiance in the hospital, to tending to Oliver's needs. The baby seemed to be fussier than ever. He definitely was feeding off of his mother's stress and worry.

"Shh..Just try to sleep." Erin swayed Ollie in the corner of the hospital room while Jay scarfed down an applesauce cup.

"You should head home." Jay said, licking the spoon clean.

Erin pressed her lips to Ollie's wide awake face before looking over at Jay. "I'm here to take you home."

"Er, I'm not being discharged until tonight." he glanced up at the clock, "That's like eight hours away." Erin frowned and sighed, her eyes shifted to their son; who was clearly fighting sleep. Jay held out his arms, "Bring him over."

Erin made the short distance to the side of the bed, she waited for Jay to adjust the bed before she passed Ollie off to him.

Jay brought his son to his chest, patting his diaper covered bottom. He inhaled the sweet scent of him, pressing his lips to the top of his head. Erin stepped back to take in the moment. She smiled widely at the sight, Jay and Oliver bonding. The way Jay grinned and was so natural at being a father. The way he had that some magical, fatherly touch that somehow calmed their son. She didn't know how, or what, but she sure was grateful to see it.

Ollie finally closed his eyes, his thumb found its way to his pouting, baby lips. Similar to the photo Erin spotted in Jay's baby book he had dug up from the family's cabin.

"If you aren't leaving then there's room," Jay spoke, bringing Erin out of her thoughts.

Her eyes flickered to him, her mouth slightly open, caught up in her running thoughts. "Hm?"

"There's room." Jay repeated, carefully moving over from the center of the hospital bed, his leg in a cast made it a challenge. That, and his son passed out on his chest. "Lay with me."

Erin nodded, practically leaping into the bed. Her body pressed into Jay's side, her head fell to his chest.

Jay matched his actions from moments ago, kissing Erin's head like he did his son. He then felt her rubbing her cheek against him, her hand moving to wipe her face. "Er?"

"I'm fine." Her voice cracked.

Jay maneuvered his arm around Erin back, his hand fell to her shoulder and pulled her closer to him. "I'm going to be okay." He reassured.

Erin glanced over at Oliver, her thumb ran over his plump redden cheek. "I thought I was going to lose you."

Jay remained silent, collecting himself as he stared down his fiancé and their son. "I don't plan on going anywhere."

Erin shifted her head up to look at Jay, his eyes glassy as he held back tears. Careful not to disturb Ollie, Erin pressed her lips against Jay's in a soft kiss. They pulled away slowly, resting their foreheads together as they relished the moment. The three of them, healing..living. Together.

 **Let me know what you thought of this chapter, and if there's any direction you'd like to see this story to go.**

 **Also, how was the premiere?! I'm open to discuss and chat about it. Drop me a message in my PM if you want.**

 **Have a great weekend guys. As always, thank you!**


	36. Chapter 36

**Hello everyone! Here's a quick update so I don't keep everyone hanging on forever until I can update again. I do have the next chapter started, just not sure where I want it to go.**

 **Enjoy and apologies for the wait.**

"I said I would help you. I just had set Ollie down," Erin said as she quickly turned to find Jay struggling to get into the apartment with his crutch.

Jay grumbled to himself as he balanced on his good leg and used his free arm that wasn't in a sling to shut the door behind him. "And I said I can handle it." His voice was a bit on edge.

Erin sighed and went back to unbuckle Oliver from the carseat. She hoisted him up on her hip before she unzipped him out his winter coat. "Are you sore? I can get you your pain-"

"I'm okay." Jay hissed out of frustration.

Erin bit her tongue and just responded with a single nod of her head. She bypassed Jay as he made his way over to the couch, dropping his one crutch to lean against the coffee table. It became a routine for him. Not a good one though. Straight after physical therapy he'd come home in a mood. Plop himself on the couch for an hour and just sulk.

Erin wasn't sure how to approach him. She wanted to be there to help him recover but she felt like he was pushing himself at times just to be the man of the house and have this tough guy act about him. Erin knew he was tough and could get through this, but she also knew that he wasn't in the right headspace to handle it.

It was one thing when he had time off after Ollie was born. He was able to be a father. Sit up in bed and rock him or feed him. But now the sling made it harder. Plus, any slight movement sent a jabbing pain to his ribs. He missed their late night moments, where'd he have his turn pacing in front the picture window, swaying and humming Oliver back to sleep. As long as he had his leg in a cast and limited mobility because of his crutch, those moment were put off.

Erin understood it all, but she felt helpless. Alone at times. It was hard for her to see Jay like that knowing what he was like before. So most of time Erin ignored his muttered words and sharp tongue.

"How was therapy?" Erin wondered, her eyes shifted down to Oliver who was fixated on the buttons of her blouse.

Jay shrugged his one shoulder, "Same. Had me do the hand exercises today."

"Yeah?" Erin made her way to sit next to him, propping Oliver in the middle with some throw pillows. "And?"

Jay closed and opened his bruised hand, gritting his teeth as he did so, "Still hurts like a bitc- witch," He corrected. "But it's healing well Rhodes said."

Erin grinned, "That's good to hear. Just keep it up and you'll be good as new in no time."

"Mhm." Jay let his head fall into a nod before he brought it back up to stare at the television. Wished he had turn it on. To fill the silence in the room.

Erin propped her elbow on the back of the couch, turning her body slightly more to look over at her fiance. "Jay.." After waiting area seconds and getting no response, Erin reached over to place a gentle touch to Jay's shoulder. She gave it a squeeze, then brought her hand up to his neck. Letting her fingers toy with his collar and rug at his short hair. "Tell me what's wrong."

Jay let out a sigh, letting his head fall back into Erin's hand. Her fingers now massaging his scalp.

Erin stared at him a bit. He looked exhausted. She knew he had been. He was sore and having to have his arm and leg propped up at night, made it hard to get some shut eye. Not to forget Ollie waking him up, or Erin shifting up in bed to tend to the baby.

"Jay?"

Jay titled his head to glance at her, "I just can't shake that day out of my mind." he diverted his eyes from her clear concerned face.

Erin ceased from moving her hand on his head to return to his neck. Her thumb brushing over his ear. "You know you can talk to me about it."

Jay shook his head defiantly, he shifted slightly, pressing his tired body further into the couch cushion. He glanced down at Ollie who stared up at the ceiling fan above them.

"I don't to put that on you. You have enough going on-"

"Hey." Erin pinched at his neck, causing him to give her his full attention, "We promised to be open with each other. Regardless of what's going on here, or at work, we will always be there."

Jay nodded in agreement followed a slow exhale, he dropped his eyes to his son. He couldn't help but smile. But it fell as he spoke, "I just feel like every step I take I have think about it. What if I left two minutes early? What if the other car was going any faster? I could've not made it…"

Erin stood up, taking Ollie to her lap so she could sit closer to Jay. Her head rested on his shoulder, "I think about it too but we can't let the _what ifs_ consume us. You said so yourself that you're fine, that's all that matters."

Jay turned to press his lips against Erin's hair, he inhaled the scent of her dry shampoo and closed his eyes, taking in the moment.

"I love you, you know that?"

A smile appeared across Erin's face, she couldn't help it. Every Time those three words were said it was like she was hearing them for the first time. It never got old when he said it.

Her lips founds his in a brief kiss. "I love you too." she whispered, pulling away.

 **I know there wasn't much to read, but I just wanted to get into Jay's head a little. Hope it wasn't out of character.**

 **Let me know if there's anything you'd like to see happen. Thanks again for the feedback.**


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